GRSearch: how make fleshlight? And how to do your first wank

Fed up talking videogames? Why?
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Green Gecko
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PostGRSearch: how make fleshlight? And how to do your first wank
by Green Gecko » Fri Aug 09, 2013 3:48 pm

I thought it might be interesting to do some forensics into the incoming search traffic we receive from Google.

Let's make a start. The last 30 day's search traffic, keywords 1-500 of 4381 unique search phrases (with "(not provided)" - stuff we can't see because users are logged into Google and browsing over SSL - and "grcade" - fools who enter grcade into their browser bar instead of the URL - not included):

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I don't even know what the strawberry float the "Bed of Shame" is.. but clearly quite a few people want to know.

Let's cut that out and drill down a bit:

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I seriously don't know what any of this gooseberry fool is. I don't know whether Katee Owen is hot or not - GRcade does!

"ding ding gorden ramsey" seems to be one of our most popular referrals this month. But I gotta say, YOUJIZZ is a standout favourite.

It doesn't take a genius to figure out what GRcade's most popular content for outsiders is. Let's take the ubiquitous Katherine Jenkins as an example:

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Let's make that a list:

    katherine jenkins topless
    katherine jenkins nude
    katherine jenkins nipples
    katherine jenkins nipple
    fake katherine jenkins
    katherine jenkins boob job
    katherine jenkins fake
    katherine jenkins real or fake
    are katherine jenkins breast real
    does katherine jenkins got fake boobs
    has katherine jenkins had a boob job
    has katherine jenkins had plastic surgery
    katherine jenkins and david beckham affair
    katherine jenkins boobs
    katherine jenkins boobs real or fake
    katherine jenkins bra
    katherine jenkins breasts
    katherine jenkins co.uk/forum
    katherine jenkins fake boobs
    katherine jenkins fake nude
    katherine jenkins fake pic
    katherine jenkins fake pics
    katherine jenkins fakes
    katherine jenkins false boobs
    katherine jenkins fhm
    katherine jenkins nipple slip
    katherine jenkins nose job
    katherine jenkins nude fake
    katherine jenkins tits
    katherine jenkins toples
    katherine jenkins wardrobe malfunction
    katherine jenkinstopless
    nude katherine jenkins nip slip

I am too lazy to look at these images in more detail, but with about 3 and 3/4 years of this filth to sift through, I'm not surprised.

You can help.

I've noticed GRcade's traffic has gone down by about maybe 20% over the past 3-4 years. I recommend the following:

Please make more Katherine Jenkins porn threads (this list should help you get started). Do it for me. Do it for GRcade.

Comments welcome.

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Here our some of our most honorable mentions.

Currently ranking #1 on Google.co.uk for bumming

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- via Laga

"It should be common sense to just accept the message Nintendo are sending out through their actions."
_________________________________________

❤ btw GRcade costs money and depends on donations - please support one of the UK's oldest video gaming forums → HOW TO DONATE
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Spindash
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PostRe: The mire of GRcade in the eyes of Google
by Spindash » Fri Aug 09, 2013 3:52 pm

Where would we be without KKLEIN.

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Floex
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PostRe: The mire of GRcade in the eyes of Google
by Floex » Fri Aug 09, 2013 3:54 pm

So is FatDaz our most popular member then?

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Zellery
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PostRe: The mire of GRcade in the eyes of Google
by Zellery » Fri Aug 09, 2013 3:56 pm

Taryn Terrell. :datass:

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Green Gecko
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PostRe: The mire of GRcade in the eyes of Google
by Green Gecko » Fri Aug 09, 2013 3:57 pm

"bumming"

"It should be common sense to just accept the message Nintendo are sending out through their actions."
_________________________________________

❤ btw GRcade costs money and depends on donations - please support one of the UK's oldest video gaming forums → HOW TO DONATE
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Moggy
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PostRe: The mire of GRcade in the eyes of Google
by Moggy » Fri Aug 09, 2013 3:57 pm

Katherine Jenkins upskirt pussy shot with Helen Flanagan lesbo threesome romp.

Just doing my bit.

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Floex
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PostRe: The mire of GRcade in the eyes of Google
by Floex » Fri Aug 09, 2013 4:00 pm

"are you a slicedawg" - who the hell is typing that in so much that it actually registers? :lol:

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Green Gecko
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PostRe: The mire of GRcade in the eyes of Google
by Green Gecko » Fri Aug 09, 2013 4:02 pm

We got over 5,800 visits for "katherine jenkins topless" this 30 days. That's 4000 more visits than the first actual videogame-related term, or almost 70%.

For some reason, "denster" fits somewhere in the middle at around 2,500 visits.

Fact: page 3 porn is 70% more likely to attract new grcade members than discussing video games.

"It should be common sense to just accept the message Nintendo are sending out through their actions."
_________________________________________

❤ btw GRcade costs money and depends on donations - please support one of the UK's oldest video gaming forums → HOW TO DONATE
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Mockmaster
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PostRe: The mire of GRcade in the eyes of Google
by Mockmaster » Fri Aug 09, 2013 4:05 pm

I think it might be time to bring back the Girl Championships.

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KK
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PostTONY HADLEY FABERGE PINEAPPLE
by KK » Fri Aug 09, 2013 4:06 pm

TONY HADLEY FABERGE PINEAPPLE

Image
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Floex
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PostRe: The mire of GRcade in the eyes of Google
by Floex » Fri Aug 09, 2013 4:09 pm

Denster :lol:

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Dual
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PostRe: The mire of GRcade in the eyes of Google
by Dual » Fri Aug 09, 2013 4:12 pm

Fat Daz what are you doing?

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Sprouty
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PostRe: The mire of GRcade in the eyes of Google
by Sprouty » Fri Aug 09, 2013 4:17 pm

You should have seen what people used to search for in order to find Poop Gang when we still ran that site. We ran an article once which featured the words gay and penis. Gay Penis turns out to be a popular search phrase on Google, and for some reason when combined with a site named Poop Gang it stuck to the top of the Google rankings for that phrase for quite some time.

I don't think those people got quite what they expected on arrival.

The silly neighbourhood vegetable.
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Green Gecko
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PostRe: The mire of GRcade in the eyes of Google
by Green Gecko » Fri Aug 09, 2013 4:23 pm

Of all this tits and ass, which are most desirable? Now we know!

Tits is probably the most pure (or unpure, depending on how you look at it):

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Unfortunately, games including the affectionately named Asscreed are sullied by the abundance of ass-seekery. But we still have a clear winner:

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I want to know why Google comes to us for the exact burning exclamations,

look at the size of those tits

and

her arse it's massive

"It should be common sense to just accept the message Nintendo are sending out through their actions."
_________________________________________

❤ btw GRcade costs money and depends on donations - please support one of the UK's oldest video gaming forums → HOW TO DONATE
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False
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PostRe: The mire of GRcade in the eyes of Google
by False » Fri Aug 09, 2013 4:24 pm

Killing Floor, yeahhhh.

I love the middle aged sun-reader simplicity of just googling any name and suffixing tits onto it.

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Albert
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PostRe: The mire of GRcade in the eyes of Google
by Albert » Fri Aug 09, 2013 4:24 pm

Toyota corolla

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False
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PostRe: The mire of GRcade in the eyes of Google
by False » Fri Aug 09, 2013 4:25 pm

and 'safe tits'

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Dual
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PostRe: The mire of GRcade in the eyes of Google
by Dual » Fri Aug 09, 2013 4:25 pm

big tits cat ears

:3

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Sprouty
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PostRe: The mire of GRcade in the eyes of Google
by Sprouty » Fri Aug 09, 2013 4:27 pm

If we all put the term "tits" in our signatures, would we see search results go through the roof? :idea:

The silly neighbourhood vegetable.
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Tafdolphin
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PostRe: The mire of GRcade in the eyes of Google
by Tafdolphin » Fri Aug 09, 2013 4:28 pm

Carol Vorderman ass! Haha!

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