The moan about your neighbours thread - Stool Bloke returns...

[Rapidly-Greying]

My strawberry floating neighbours. Council house,four in a block. I don't hear anything to complain about from the two flats to the left of me but hells bloody bells,downstairs do my head properly strawberry floating in.

Its a girl in her mid twenties with a 9 year old kid,a boyfriend and two young ankle biting dogs. While the kid's at school it's fine but as soon as she comes home it's just THUMP THUMP strawberry floating BANG. She's just a skinny wee kid but bloody hell the only explanation is that she's been possessed by a herd of evil elephants. So much strawberry floating energy,I mean it's down and watch some tv for Miyamotos sake.

One of the dogs just barks non stop every second it's outside so I can't open my kitchen windows without having to fight the urge to jam a paring knife into my jugular.

The boyfriends voice is far too deep,it just drones through the floor like a rubbish base guitarist. And then I hear them shagging and there's just no romance to it,it's just jackhammer bang bang for 5 minutes. Luckily,neither of them are vocal so I don't have to listen to that.

I'm also fortunate that I don't have thumping music or rowdy parties to contend with.

So really I'm just having a rant because it would be a dick move. I mean it's just a hyper kid,I have kids that when they're round can sometimes be noisy so I get it. Can't stand any kind of confrontation either and bonus points for occasionally jacking to the squeaky bed noises(a silent but sordid one).

Not really a bad situation when I think of how much worse it could possibly be. It's my fault anyway as if I had made better life choices I could be living in a nice detached house with no neighbors for quarter of a mile.

Any of you guys want to moan about your neighbours,no matter how petty it may be. This is a safe zone,so let it all out.

[Vermi Claus]

My neighbour is a complete and utter dick.

The guy has pretty much done it all, i've endured (and still do) barking/howling from his dog (some days it can last for up to 7 hours (had it for 9 hours once), and it's in the room that is joined right on to mine), his screaming kids raising hell in the cul de sac (dawn until dusk all summer long, and usually right outside my open window), his DIY, that one time he had what i can only describe as a rave (the music could be heard from several streets away), his rampant sex sessions which involved his bed almost coming through the wall, and many other things too numerous to mention.

[Buffalo]

I have a shared bathroom with the guy next door. We have to lock each other’s bathroom door if we want privacy, and he always - ALWAYS - forgets to unlock my door, meaning I can’t go. Having to lash it down the corridor every time I want to go for a piss is strawberry floating me right off. The shower’s in there too.

[Curls]

Where do you live Buffalo?

[Harry Ellis]

Our neighbours are all good people and I have no problems with them. We're very fortunate.

[Earfolds]

I live in a four-in-a-block where both downstairs neighbours are fine, but the upstairs neighbour has a notification on her phone that I can hear from my bedroom, and it's kind of annoying because it sounds like one of those old MSN new message sounds.

[Errkal]

One of my neighbors is a gooseberry fool person but mostly isn't an issue so that fine. The other is very odd, I'm pretty sure his parents bought him the house to get him out of theirs and they come round every day to garden, clean, etc. it's all very odd.

[Rapidly-Greying]

One of my neighbors is a gooseberry fool person but mostly isn't an issue so that fine. The other is very odd, I'm pretty sure his parents bought him the house to get him out of theirs and they come round every day to garden, clean, etc. it's all very odd.

I'm so jealous,I'd love a weird neighbour like that. It's always fun to speculate.

[Rapidly-Greying]

My neighbour is a complete and utter dick.

The guy has pretty much done it all, i've endured (and still do) barking/howling from his dog (some days it can last for up to 7 hours (had it for 9 hours once), and it's in the room that is joined right on to mine), his screaming kids raising hell in the cul de sac (dawn until dusk all summer long, and usually right outside my open window), his DIY, that one time he had what i can only describe as a rave (the music could be heard from several streets away), his rampant sex sessions which involved his bed almost coming through the wall, and many other things too numerous to mention.

Sounds like a nightmare mate,I feel for you. Much worse that I have it.

[Errkal]

One of my neighbors is a gooseberry fool person but mostly isn't an issue so that fine. The other is very odd, I'm pretty sure his parents bought him the house to get him out of theirs and they come round every day to garden, clean, etc. it's all very odd.

I'm so jealous,I'd love a weird neighbours like that. It's always fun to speculate.

It's odd I discovered the other week he has started his own craft stuff website selling really crap crafts https://garyscreativecrafts.com, we have a strange house opposite that for the last 15 years no one has lived in for more than 2 mo the before moving out, my theory is it is a CIA safe house.

[Rapidly-Greying]

Our neighbours are all good people and I have no problems with them. We're very fortunate.

You're a lucky man. My neighbor has friends in just now and it sounds like a bunch of drunken witches around a bubbling cauldron.

[Rapidly-Greying]

I live in a four-in-a-block where both downstairs neighbours are fine, but the upstairs neighbour has a notification on her phone that I can hear from my bedroom, and it's kind of annoying because it sounds like one of those old MSN new message sounds.

That's the kind of gooseberry fool that should just turn you into a crazed killer,I look forward to reading about you in the papers.

[Rapidly-Greying]

I have a shared bathroom with the guy next door. We have to lock each other’s bathroom door if we want privacy, and he always - ALWAYS - forgets to unlock my door, meaning I can’t go. Having to lash it down the corridor every time I want to go for a piss is strawberry floating me right off. The shower’s in there too.

This whole situation needs explained. Is it a frat house or something?

[Rapidly-Greying]

One of my neighbors is a gooseberry fool person but mostly isn't an issue so that fine. The other is very odd, I'm pretty sure his parents bought him the house to get him out of theirs and they come round every day to garden, clean, etc. it's all very odd.

I'm so jealous,I'd love a weird neighbours like that. It's always fun to speculate.

It's odd I discovered the other week he has started his own craft stuff website selling really crap crafts https://garyscreativecrafts.com, we have a strange house opposite that for the last 15 years no one has lived in for more than 2 mo the before moving out, my theory is it is a CIA safe house.

That medium slate owl though, add to basket am I right.

[Mr. Mystery Garth]

Barely know my neighbours TBH, and I've never had any bother with them. There's a couple of fields between us, we rarely see each other. There was a middle-aged guy living alone to the right of us for as long as I've lived here but he died recently and now his house is empty. The long-time neighbours to the left moved out last year and now there's a young family of 5 living there, have only spoken to them a couple of times.

[Earfolds]

I live in a four-in-a-block where both downstairs neighbours are fine, but the upstairs neighbour has a notification on her phone that I can hear from my bedroom, and it's kind of annoying because it sounds like one of those old MSN new message sounds.

That's the kind of gooseberry fool that should just turn you into a crazed killer,I look forward to reading about you in the papers.

Jokes on her. I know her address.

[Buffalo]

I have a shared bathroom with the guy next door. We have to lock each other’s bathroom door if we want privacy, and he always - ALWAYS - forgets to unlock my door, meaning I can’t go. Having to lash it down the corridor every time I want to go for a piss is strawberry floating me right off. The shower’s in there too.

This whole situation needs explained. Is it a frat house or something?

I’m in rehab It is a little bit like student halls, to be honest! Except clean. And tidy. And hot milfy nurses.

[Rapidly-Greying]

Is that website seriously your neighbor? Such a random array of oddities to make and sell. I glass with dad on it is something you could buy out of a pound store. I need a more detailed bio of this dudes life or I simply won't sleep.

[Harry Ellis]

Our neighbours are all good people and I have no problems with them. We're very fortunate.

You're a lucky man. My neighbor has friends in just now and it sounds like a bunch of drunken witches around a bubbling cauldron.

We all live on a new build estate and so moved in at the same time and got to know each other. I think that has helped.

[Rapidly-Greying]

I have a shared bathroom with the guy next door. We have to lock each other’s bathroom door if we want privacy, and he always - ALWAYS - forgets to unlock my door, meaning I can’t go. Having to lash it down the corridor every time I want to go for a piss is strawberry floating me right off. The shower’s in there too.

This whole situation needs explained. Is it a frat house or something?

I’m in rehab It is a little bit like student halls, to be honest! Except clean. And tidy. And hot milfy nurses.

Do they have a spare room and if so,do they do I free taxi service as I think I need a place to go.

I'd love to know why you're there,purely because I'm interested in other people's lives. It's good to talk and good to listen.