The moan about your neighbours thread - Stool Bloke returns...

[Tomous]

I see we're now entering the period where people are returning to the office, but not changing their online ordering to mirror it, leaving us that are still working from to be the goto 'take the neighbour's orders' stop.

If I'm not going to be around, I won't order something until I am, why can't people plan for their gooseberry fool instead of "can you take an order for number 67?". No I can't, there's a strawberry floating pandemic on and I don't want to meet anyone. I'm not a strawberry floating post office.

I mean, I agree with your point on the pandemic for sure, but it's not always easy to plan to be home for deliveries. Not everyone is Amazon, you can get quite big windows for when deliveries can arrive.

Tough gooseberry fool, rearrange delivery then. If there is something arriving untracked and I miss it (rare because I plan it) then that's my fault and on me to rearrange delivery.

They're not actually asking you to take the parcel though are they? The postman is.

[Victor Mildew]

Why not take the items then when your neighbour comes to collect the items, you ask them to stop ordering stuff for when they aren't in?

Just open the boxes. They’ll soon be deterred.

Hello Mrs Bint, I road tested your new butt plug and it works beautifully. Just got to wait for the dishwasher to finish before I can hand it back though.

[Victor Mildew]

I see we're now entering the period where people are returning to the office, but not changing their online ordering to mirror it, leaving us that are still working from to be the goto 'take the neighbour's orders' stop.

If I'm not going to be around, I won't order something until I am, why can't people plan for their gooseberry fool instead of "can you take an order for number 67?". No I can't, there's a strawberry floating pandemic on and I don't want to meet anyone. I'm not a strawberry floating post office.

I mean, I agree with your point on the pandemic for sure, but it's not always easy to plan to be home for deliveries. Not everyone is Amazon, you can get quite big windows for when deliveries can arrive.

Tough gooseberry fool, rearrange delivery then. If there is something arriving untracked and I miss it (rare because I plan it) then that's my fault and on me to rearrange delivery.

They're not actually asking you to take the parcel though are they? The postman is.

The instructions on the label say "leave with neighbour" as the delivery backup.

[andretmzt]

Why not take the items then when your neighbour comes to collect the items, you ask them to stop ordering stuff for when they aren't in?

Just open the boxes. They’ll soon be deterred.

Hello Mrs Bint, I road tested your new butt plug and it works beautifully. Just got to wait for the dishwasher to finish before I can hand it back though.

I dunno, wouldn't that be an offer for something more if it was the only package that said 'leave with neighbour'?

[Moggy]

I see we're now entering the period where people are returning to the office, but not changing their online ordering to mirror it, leaving us that are still working from to be the goto 'take the neighbour's orders' stop.

If I'm not going to be around, I won't order something until I am, why can't people plan for their gooseberry fool instead of "can you take an order for number 67?". No I can't, there's a strawberry floating pandemic on and I don't want to meet anyone. I'm not a strawberry floating post office.

I mean, I agree with your point on the pandemic for sure, but it's not always easy to plan to be home for deliveries. Not everyone is Amazon, you can get quite big windows for when deliveries can arrive.

Tough gooseberry fool, rearrange delivery then. If there is something arriving untracked and I miss it (rare because I plan it) then that's my fault and on me to rearrange delivery.

They're not actually asking you to take the parcel though are they? The postman is.

The instructions on the label say "leave with neighbour" as the delivery backup.

I bet all the parcels are for the MP.

Tell him you'll vote Tory.

[Qikz]

I see we're now entering the period where people are returning to the office, but not changing their online ordering to mirror it, leaving us that are still working from to be the goto 'take the neighbour's orders' stop.

If I'm not going to be around, I won't order something until I am, why can't people plan for their gooseberry fool instead of "can you take an order for number 67?". No I can't, there's a strawberry floating pandemic on and I don't want to meet anyone. I'm not a strawberry floating post office.

I mean, I agree with your point on the pandemic for sure, but it's not always easy to plan to be home for deliveries. Not everyone is Amazon, you can get quite big windows for when deliveries can arrive.

Tough gooseberry fool, rearrange delivery then. If there is something arriving untracked and I miss it (rare because I plan it) then that's my fault and on me to rearrange delivery.

They're not actually asking you to take the parcel though are they? The postman is.

The instructions on the label say "leave with neighbour" as the delivery backup.

I bet all the parcels are for the MP.

Tell him you'll vote Tory.

If it's for the MP take a gooseberry fool on all of them and tell him you'll see him in hell while setting fire to all his stuff.

[Tomous]

I see we're now entering the period where people are returning to the office, but not changing their online ordering to mirror it, leaving us that are still working from to be the goto 'take the neighbour's orders' stop.

If I'm not going to be around, I won't order something until I am, why can't people plan for their gooseberry fool instead of "can you take an order for number 67?". No I can't, there's a strawberry floating pandemic on and I don't want to meet anyone. I'm not a strawberry floating post office.

I mean, I agree with your point on the pandemic for sure, but it's not always easy to plan to be home for deliveries. Not everyone is Amazon, you can get quite big windows for when deliveries can arrive.

Tough gooseberry fool, rearrange delivery then. If there is something arriving untracked and I miss it (rare because I plan it) then that's my fault and on me to rearrange delivery.

They're not actually asking you to take the parcel though are they? The postman is.

The instructions on the label say "leave with neighbour" as the delivery backup.

Yeah, fair enough that's cheeky if they've put that on

[Abacus]

When you open the door, just spray the postman with Mace.

Problem solved.

[KK]

First, stake out the postman's routine every morning like Sam Fisher. BUT DON'T KILL HIM. That would be wrong, and only result in a standby postman taking his place anyway. Instead, always go out for a walk when the postman is due. Result: you've outsmarted the postman and the neighbour.

[Abacus]

Make a Home Alone style series of contraptions all along your driveway (ice, a massive spanner ready to swing down on a rope and hit him in the face, a recording of a gangster film when he presses the doorbell, molten tar etc). Postie won't make the same mistake twice.

If this doesn't work first time, in the sequel, cover him in pigeon food and befriend a local bird obsessed vagrant ready to unleash her stinking army of flying rats on him.

For best effect wait until he is delivering Christmas parcels before launching your devastating attacks.

[Squinty]

I see we're now entering the period where people are returning to the office, but not changing their online ordering to mirror it, leaving us that are still working from to be the goto 'take the neighbour's orders' stop.

If I'm not going to be around, I won't order something until I am, why can't people plan for their gooseberry fool instead of "can you take an order for number 67?". No I can't, there's a strawberry floating pandemic on and I don't want to meet anyone. I'm not a strawberry floating post office.

I mean, I agree with your point on the pandemic for sure, but it's not always easy to plan to be home for deliveries. Not everyone is Amazon, you can get quite big windows for when deliveries can arrive.

Tough gooseberry fool, rearrange delivery then. If there is something arriving untracked and I miss it (rare because I plan it) then that's my fault and on me to rearrange delivery.

They're not actually asking you to take the parcel though are they? The postman is.

The instructions on the label say "leave with neighbour" as the delivery backup.

Hahaha strawberry float off.

[Tsunade]

Next time it happens, tell the postman that you aren't the right neighbour to leave it with and to try another one, or to go leave it on their doorstep as that's your new instruction to the postman

[BonalityMatrix]

Why not take the items then when your neighbour comes to collect the items, you ask them to stop ordering stuff for when they aren't in?

Just open the boxes. They’ll soon be deterred.

Hello Mrs Bint, I road tested your new butt plug and it works beautifully. Just got to wait for the dishwasher to finish before I can hand it back though.

Your wank mags are here! Red hot they are too!

[Zilnad]

Too angry to say anything to the neighbours right now but their builders keep blocking our drive and today they've decided to just go right ahead and use it for their van and for mixing cement.

Like I say, I'm far too angry to go out and talk sensibly so I'll have to speak to the neighbour about it later.

In what world is that acceptable? Their van is literally a few inches from my car so there's no way they could even feign ignorance.

The neighbour did say they'd be working on the adjoining fence soon but this is next level. Completely taking over access to our house to fit someone else's fence? strawberry floating cowboys.

I overheard the neighbour slagging them off that they never turned up to work yesterday so I get the impression they've been dragged out today and give even less of a gooseberry fool than normal. Therefore the most likely outcome of a direct confrontation would be snarky remarks and more anger.

[Imrahil]

Don't think on it, you'll talk yourself out of doing the right thing. Just go out there and unleash hell.

[Drumstick]

Unless there's some context I've missed, it sounds like this issue is with the builders.

When I had a shared drive I was always very mindful or where any of my guests would park, but not everyone is like that.

[Zilnad]

Yeah, the issue was definitely the builders. I've had my revenge anyway as one of them left a hoodie behind so I binned it. They didn't put any of our stuff back that they'd moved and they'd even pulled up a slab without saying anything that I've just had to put back myself.

If they use our drive again I'm not having it.

[rinks]

Park your car in such a way that they can’t use the drive.

[Zaichik]

You might want to check the local rules for builders' work. Round here, they're not allowed to work on Sundays.

Our neighbours in our old house employed builders who really took the piss and worked all hours. They gave us no peace at all. One call to the council soon put paid to that.

[Drumstick]

Sounds like a little someone has made your lock tight, as a reprisal for snitching. Maybe they thought you could do with some snooper glue.

Was done between 6am -10am this morning as I've been sitting in the room all day since and no one was near the garage. Also didn't report her til about 12 or 1 pm.

Manage to get the lock free by using nail varnish remover, the acitone in it seemed to have done the trick.

It was certainly one of the neighbours as it's a one way road with no other access in, as we seen one of the neighbours camera footage and it was just the same the normal same folks in and out.

We believe it's either Costa Woman as she's all quiet tonight or Hyacinth the classy neighbour a few doors down as she's a bit of an oddball and she
has been doing some things to neighbours bins.

Can't prove nothing either way, strawberry floating bastard whoever it is.

Anything further on this or general Costa Woman activity?