The moan about your neighbours thread - Stool Bloke returns...

[jawa_]

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[Lagamorph]

Time to Home Alone the corridors at night.

[Vermilion]

Time to Home Alone the corridors at night.

[rinks]

Make the most of it. Some people would love to have such amenities on their doorstep.

[Qikz]

Make the most of it. Some people would love to have such amenities on their doorstep.

[Barnsy!]

[accidental] bad neighbour here!

For background - my neighbour is in [I would say late] 70s, widower who lives alone, decent health but pretty frail and a really nice bloke. We respect each privacy, neither are overbearing but say hello and have brief but friendly chats - he has been round mine for a cup of tea and joined me and my mates for a barbeque etc and get on well enough.

Feel like a twat...So I was on holiday last week returning Sunday / Monday. Monday is bin day I noticed my neighbours bins was already out ready for collection - fine. As far as I'm aware he usually always put his bins directly after collection. I noticed on Thursday his bins were still out, there was post in the door and not much signs of life in the house. I was slightly worried and knocked to check on him. To be absolutely clear, I don't give a toss what he or anyone does with their bins - but was a little bit concerned for him thinking he may have injured himself. He answered and was fine and I said in a gentle way [but without thinking how this may come across] something like 'hi, haven't seen you for a bit and noticed your bins were still out and just checking you are alright'. It was a friendly interaction....but 10 minutes lately he had taken his bins off the front garden / path.

This is just cringe as strawberry float to me. I'm not overly house-proud and don't care about bins being on the path (the idea of an adult telling another adult what to do - shudder) and IF I did have problem I would say so directly rather than dress in up. I like the guy but I'm really worried he saw it as a passive-aggressive or wormy way of saying 'please move your bins'. Its my fault but I feel shitty about it.

[SEP]

[accidental] bad neighbour here!

For background - my neighbour is in [I would say late] 70s, widower who lives alone, decent health but pretty frail and a really nice bloke. We respect each privacy, neither are overbearing but say hello and have brief but friendly chats - he has been round mine for a cup of tea and joined me and my mates for a barbeque etc and get on well enough.

Feel like a twat...So I was on holiday last week returning Sunday / Monday. Monday is bin day I noticed my neighbours bins was already out ready for collection - fine. As far as I'm aware he usually always put his bins directly after collection. I noticed on Thursday his bins were still out, there was post in the door and not much signs of life in the house. I was slightly worried and knocked to check on him. To be absolutely clear, I don't give a toss what he or anyone does with their bins - but was a little bit concerned for him thinking he may have injured himself. He answered and was fine and I said in a gentle way [but without thinking how this may come across] something like 'hi, haven't seen you for a bit and noticed your bins were still out and just checking you are alright'. It was a friendly interaction....but 10 minutes lately he had taken his bins off the front garden / path.

This is just cringe as strawberry float to me. I'm not overly house-proud and don't care about bins being on the path (the idea of an adult telling another adult what to do - shudder) and IF I did have problem I would say so directly rather than dress in up. I like the guy but I'm really worried he saw it as a passive-aggressive or wormy way of saying 'please move your bins'. Its my fault but I feel shitty about it.

I'd say it's more likely that he appreciates that there's someone who cares for his wellbeing and can be relied upon to check that he's OK.

[Tomous]

[accidental] bad neighbour here!

For background - my neighbour is in [I would say late] 70s, widower who lives alone, decent health but pretty frail and a really nice bloke. We respect each privacy, neither are overbearing but say hello and have brief but friendly chats - he has been round mine for a cup of tea and joined me and my mates for a barbeque etc and get on well enough.

Feel like a twat...So I was on holiday last week returning Sunday / Monday. Monday is bin day I noticed my neighbours bins was already out ready for collection - fine. As far as I'm aware he usually always put his bins directly after collection. I noticed on Thursday his bins were still out, there was post in the door and not much signs of life in the house. I was slightly worried and knocked to check on him. To be absolutely clear, I don't give a toss what he or anyone does with their bins - but was a little bit concerned for him thinking he may have injured himself. He answered and was fine and I said in a gentle way [but without thinking how this may come across] something like 'hi, haven't seen you for a bit and noticed your bins were still out and just checking you are alright'. It was a friendly interaction....but 10 minutes lately he had taken his bins off the front garden / path.

This is just cringe as strawberry float to me. I'm not overly house-proud and don't care about bins being on the path (the idea of an adult telling another adult what to do - shudder) and IF I did have problem I would say so directly rather than dress in up. I like the guy but I'm really worried he saw it as a passive-aggressive or wormy way of saying 'please move your bins'. Its my fault but I feel shitty about it.

I totally think you're overthinking this, and entirely possible he forgot about the bins and hasn't been out much and is much more likely to appreciate your concern for his wellbeing then being annoyed about that

[Barnsy!]

Cheers guys - like I say he's a nice fella, so just hope he didn't take it the wrong way. Hopefully you are right and I'm over thinking / second guessing - thanks

[rinks]

Leave your bins out next week and see what happens.

[jawa_]

Cheers guys - like I say he's a nice fella, so just hope he didn't take it the wrong way. Hopefully you are right and I'm over thinking / second guessing - thanks

Barnsy, yeah, I am thinking along the lines of and SEP and Tom in that you were just being concerned and friendly towards your neighbour .

- - - - - - - - -

Neighbour update - what would be a resasonable time to clear out your flat? Maybe during the day? Perhaps at the weekend if you'd been working all week?

How about 00:10 on a Monday morning? Yep, my infamous neighbour thought this would be a great time to do it, so along with a friend or two she piled up bags of rubbish (about 12) and left them in the hallway. I haven't looked closely but there was stuff falling out the sacks and - I'm not making this up - flies flying around them already.

.

[kazanova_Frankenstein]

[accidental] bad neighbour here!

For background - my neighbour is in [I would say late] 70s, widower who lives alone, decent health but pretty frail and a really nice bloke. We respect each privacy, neither are overbearing but say hello and have brief but friendly chats - he has been round mine for a cup of tea and joined me and my mates for a barbeque etc and get on well enough.

Feel like a twat...So I was on holiday last week returning Sunday / Monday. Monday is bin day I noticed my neighbours bins was already out ready for collection - fine. As far as I'm aware he usually always put his bins directly after collection. I noticed on Thursday his bins were still out, there was post in the door and not much signs of life in the house. I was slightly worried and knocked to check on him. To be absolutely clear, I don't give a toss what he or anyone does with their bins - but was a little bit concerned for him thinking he may have injured himself. He answered and was fine and I said in a gentle way [but without thinking how this may come across] something like 'hi, haven't seen you for a bit and noticed your bins were still out and just checking you are alright'. It was a friendly interaction....but 10 minutes lately he had taken his bins off the front garden / path.

This is just cringe as strawberry float to me. I'm not overly house-proud and don't care about bins being on the path (the idea of an adult telling another adult what to do - shudder) and IF I did have problem I would say so directly rather than dress in up. I like the guy but I'm really worried he saw it as a passive-aggressive or wormy way of saying 'please move your bins'. Its my fault but I feel shitty about it.

I can't imagine anyone in that demographic (old and alone) being offended by your words.

But yeah, leave your bins out next week. Preferably filled with body parts.

[Yubel]

Neighbour update - what would be a resasonable time to clear out your flat? Maybe during the day? Perhaps at the weekend if you'd been working all week?

How about 00:10 on a Monday morning? Yep, my infamous neighbour thought this would be a great time to do it, so along with a friend or two she piled up bags of rubbish (about 12) and left them in the hallway. I haven't looked closely but there was stuff falling out the sacks and - I'm not making this up - flies flying around them already.

.

That's just unacceptable. At this point I'd condone other residents to start passively making her uncomfortable and hopefully driving her out on her own accord. Seriously hope this saga comes to an end soon mate.

[Dual]

[accidental] bad neighbour here!

For background - my neighbour is in [I would say late] 70s, widower who lives alone, decent health but pretty frail and a really nice bloke. We respect each privacy, neither are overbearing but say hello and have brief but friendly chats - he has been round mine for a cup of tea and joined me and my mates for a barbeque etc and get on well enough.

Feel like a twat...So I was on holiday last week returning Sunday / Monday. Monday is bin day I noticed my neighbours bins was already out ready for collection - fine. As far as I'm aware he usually always put his bins directly after collection. I noticed on Thursday his bins were still out, there was post in the door and not much signs of life in the house. I was slightly worried and knocked to check on him. To be absolutely clear, I don't give a toss what he or anyone does with their bins - but was a little bit concerned for him thinking he may have injured himself. He answered and was fine and I said in a gentle way [but without thinking how this may come across] something like 'hi, haven't seen you for a bit and noticed your bins were still out and just checking you are alright'. It was a friendly interaction....but 10 minutes lately he had taken his bins off the front garden / path.

This is just cringe as strawberry float to me. I'm not overly house-proud and don't care about bins being on the path (the idea of an adult telling another adult what to do - shudder) and IF I did have problem I would say so directly rather than dress in up. I like the guy but I'm really worried he saw it as a passive-aggressive or wormy way of saying 'please move your bins'. Its my fault but I feel shitty about it.

I'm sorry but you'll now need to move house.

[jawa_]

...Seriously hope this saga comes to an end soon mate.

Thanks, Yube!

Some of the sacks have now been moved down to the bins... some have been left by the main entrance door... and some are still in the hallway. We'll see how things pan out by the end of the day .

[kazanova_Frankenstein]

We should run a poll on who is the more antisocial neighbour - Jawa's or Barnsy!.

[Imrahil]

We should run a poll on who is the more antisocial neighbour - Jawa's or Barnsy!.

Just an aside - but it's always puzzled me how the word 'antisocial' is commonly used to describe mild tendencies in avoiding social contact and also terrible behaviour that seriously impacts other people's lives.

[Green Gecko]

Supposedly the least anti-social person is the Queen despite her essentially living off a microcosm of socialism that nobody else gets, which is in a way an antithesis of a fair society. Owing to how she presents magnificently and does all the talking and hand shaking.

But yeah antisocial is inappropriately used to just condemn shy people or anyone with a communication difficulty, or altogether too invested in their own interests to worry about other people (or indeed they do that because they worry too much).

It's nothing at all like actual anti social behaviour which is basically being a dickhead and recklessly making other people's lives miserable, while hiding behind some kind of bad bitch, zero-fucks-given mentality. And to turn it on its head, blaming other people for impinging on their privacy or lifestyle when they have no right to, apparently.

General arseholery.

[kazanova_Frankenstein]

I'm not doing an apology video lads - you know what I was getting at.

[Imrahil]

I'm not doing an apology video lads - you know what I was getting at.

Oh, it was nothing aimed at you! It was just a general observation about the quirks of our language where two such different concepts share the same word.

I bet most other countries have completely different common words for these things.