The moan about your neighbours thread - Stool Bloke returns...

[<]:^D]

silly me lol

[Zilnad]

Not really a moan but our neighbours have paid Green Thumb to treat their lawn and Green Thumb have only gone and done ours as well I genuinely don't care if my lawn has weeds growing in it but I'm not going to turn down a free treatment. Thanks neighbours!

Consider it compensation for them constantly sitting outside your front window during lockdown.

It means a lot to me that you remember my moanings

[Lagamorph]

The guy over the road from me had a delivery of cement at 7am this morning. As in a giant cement truck turning up and pouring out cement into wheelbarrows for them.

At 7 in the strawberry floating morning

[Vermilion]

The camper van fired up today for the first time in weeks, and the wind direction meant that all the fumes came steaming through my open window.

That's the thanks i get for making him famous.

[Prototype]

what is Cuntman's superpower?

Being quiet as a mouse. It says it in Drummy's post.

[Green Gecko]

Actually recorded using a miniature telescopic zoom microphone for a full hour the teenage banana splits in the outhouse directly behind us DJing and yelling until about half one in the morning, they even got on the mic after turning UP the music at 1am to start yelling stupid gooseberry fool at each other. They were literally doing "brrrrap"s and the first song on loop for about 20 minutes included a fog horn sound on repeat for about 5 seconds straight. Wish I was making it up.

Heading over there today after having gotten two police case numbers and a noise log completed for at least a month together with this recording where they can clearly be heard talking about passing a zoot and having another pint, so not only are they drinking which is fine but likely to be disorderly they are doing drugs too, now this doesn't bother me personally but it does add to the picture, that should get the shitters up the little twats, whether it's their parents or the kid that answers I don't care, it's strawberry floating illegal and they should shut the strawberry float up that late at night.

To clarify they STARTED DJing at about 10:30 pm and carried until in we eventually got to sleep. Quite pleased as a musician I can just fight speakers with microphones and set it to record out the velux window we sleep under and know that every second I am suffering I am recording all their stupid babble.

Tone should change once they realise everyone can hear their stupid hurrr derp brrrrap gooseberry fool the whole time as well as record it happening. Good luck contesting an environmental protection order or the police confiscating the equipment, nobody needs a strawberry floating PA system on in a residential area, not a venue with a proper license etc, at past midnight any day of the week. Buy some strawberry floating small monitors and some soundproofing and do it during reasonable hours, sure, but this is taking the strawberry floating piss repeatedly for months.

And yes we're pretty sure it's the shitty clockwork Casio drummer now getting into DJing with their m8s at 1am on random days (including Sunday nights and week nights). We also think the same property has a trampoline they get stoned and jump on at quarter to midnight babbling like big babies and they even own a strawberry floating cockerel that goes off in the morning so you can be woken up as well.

I couldn't believe it when it started to make sense this was all coming from the same place but they obviously think they have the run of the neighbourhood thanks to their massive strawberry floating house and seperate outhouse colonised by bamboo and massive trees/shrubs they never cut which shades literally every single surrounding garden from the sun. They just don't give a strawberry float, and I'm amazed that no other neighbours seem to have complained about it as you can see their upstairs/bedroom lights coming on at 1am, floorboards and stairs creaking either side of us and windows slamming due to people being woken up and pissed off, so I will tell them to please stop, the relevant agencies are already aware of it.

I'm just going to walk up to their door and play the recording straight out of dictaphone while holding fast forward so the clear LCD display shows 5 minutes, 7 minutes, 10, minutes, 40 minutes (when the volume went up), 1hr etc which will feature random clips of them rabbiting on about booze and tokes, with it time stamped as well (I even had the date correct on this thing which is amazing because I hardly ever use it). Should speak for itself. I thought about clipping a small Marshall amplifier to my belt and plugging that into the dictaphone too for playback but that would look crazy.

[<]:^D]

i look forward to them getting owned comprehensively.
some people are massively unaware/and or uncaring

[Victor Mildew]

That's nothing GG, one of my neighbours leaves her bin out a bit too long sometimes.

they sound like a right bunch of selfish twats. Hopefully your action can help to curb it

[Dual]

Post the recording itt

[Green Gecko]

I will it's an hour long MP3 though which includes my GF waking up and myself on the phone to 101

She's submitted a noise log now as we plucked up the courage to go over there together only to confirm the following:

Yes it's an outhouse besides another massive house that as got to be worth around 0.9million I reckon
Yes it's the same place jumping on the trampoline at night and yelling. (This had a skateboard deck with no trucks so that's what they were jumping on to make a super annoying noise.)
Yes they have FOUR chickens that were just left there doing their own thing in a small pen.
Yes the outhouse is obviously some teenage strawberry floating dump dwelling with edgy gooseberry fool and signs/stickers stuck in the Windows

But most bizarrely, we went to the front door and, guess what? It was strawberry floating WIDE OPEN. They have one of those massive pull to ring bells and I knocked several times while waiting until my partner freaked out. There was nobody there (except the chickens). There was a plastic storage box half full with mail so we took a picture to get the address (As we didn't have it) and a sign labelled "deliver packages to the garage door on the right -->" (which is presumably the out building). That was face down and on the floor, as if the teenagers had taken it down, faded writing written on a piece of beach wood tied to some string. Also mail littered on the doormat which could plainly see as the doors were ajar. No curtains and some furniture left because clearly you don't need curtains if you're a rich banana split with a gated property surrounding by strawberry floating overgrown bamboo everywhere.

Random old BBQs and similar crap banging about. This is a gated property but with just a latch, no bell or postbox so the only way to deliver mail or call on them is to go in, which is of course fine with good cause (or to deliver something).

But the strawberry floatin door open, what the hell? So the parents and kids clearly aren't living there, they're just bounding in to fire up the drums or PA or whatever. Fortunately we're aware they're selling the house so eventually this will end but the meantime what the strawberry float are the kids doing squatting in their parents property on random days and leaving unsecured and vacant the rest of the time? IT was so strange it really set my partner's anxiety off and she was begging me to leave. Left a dated note for them and that's our attempt to communicate with them as nothing else can be done that way. I tried leaving it in the letterbox ajar but the letterbox is welded shut and apparently a fake bronze cast letterbox labelled "LETTERS", what?? Hopefully the police with enough complaints will just raid it and take the strawberry floating PA as well as find the drugs

It was like a post-apocalyptic european house scene from half-life 2 where everything has just been dropped and the residents gone

[Green Gecko]

My girlfriend just found the property listing and it's selling for I gooseberry fool you not, "offers in the region of"

ONE MILLION EIGHT HUNDRED AND NINETY FIVE THOUSAND POUNDS

And they leave this place strawberry floating unlocked???

FOUR STOREY DOUBLE-FRONTED VICTORIAN REGENCY HOUSE WITH APPROXIMATE MEASUREMENTS COMPRISES:-

SECOND FLOOR

LANDING
Cast iron balustrade and mahogany handrail with stairs to half landing and window to rear. Painted floorboards. Dado panelling. Hatch to insulated roof space.

BEDROOM 1
19' x 15'8 (5.79m x 4.78m). Double aspect room with sash dormer window with open view through St Annes Crescent to far-reaching views over the Newhaven Valley with South Downs and the English Channel beyond. East facing sash window overlooking the side garden and with views to Lewes Golf Course and the South Downs. Cast iron original fireplace with wooden mantle. Attractive sloping ceilings. Antique style radiator. Double wardrobe walk-in cupboard with hanging rail, shelf and fitted drawer.

ENSUITE W.C.
White suite of low level w.c. and pedestal wash basin. Heated towel rail. Tiled walls. Velux window.

STUDY 1
8' x 5'4 (2.44m x 1.63m). Velux window. Fitted desk and shelves.

BEDROOM 2
16'4 x 12'1 (4.98m x 3.68m). Sash dormer window with far-reaching views to the English Channel and South Downs. Antique style radiator. Full width wall of fitted wardrobe cupboard and shelved cupboard. Chimney breast with shelved alcove. Door to:-

STUDY 2
12'9 x 5'3 (3.89m x 1.60m). Sash window overlooking the rear garden. Antique style radiator. Fitted desk. Doors to landing.

SHOWER ROOM
11'5 x 4'6 (3.48m x 1.37m). Shower tray (unfitted). Low level w.c. Wash basin. Towel rail. Velux window.

FIRST FLOOR

LANDING
Sash window to front garden. Limed oak painted floorboards. Cast iron balustrades and mahogany wood handrail. Antique style radiator. Dado rail.

MASTER BEDROOM SUITE:-
WALK-IN DRESSING ROOM with fitted hanging rails, shelves and drawers. Picture rail. Double doors to:-
ENSUITE BATHROOM 16'3 x 12' (4.95m x 3.66m). Luxury bathroom with roll-top bath with clawed feet, central tap mixer system and shower attachment. Contemporary Duravit wash basin with mixer tap and wood stand with shelf and storage. Low level w.c. Bidet with mixer taps. Mosaic tiled walls. Shower tray and tiled drying area. Recessed spotlighting. Antique style radiator and white heated towel rail. Further antique style radiator. Cast iron fireplace with mantle. Exposed limed floorboards. 2 Wall lights. Picture rail. Half wood panelling. Sash window to side garden.
MASTER BEDROOM (3) 15'5 x 13'6 (4.70m x 4.11m). Superb south facing bay window with window seat and cupboard under, and outlook over the front garden to the Newhaven Valley and South Downs. Exposed brick fireplace with brick and tile hearth and marble mantle. Limed oak floorboards. Shelf top. Picture rail.

BEDROOM 4
14'8 x 13'7 (4.47m x 4.14m). Feature bay window with window seat and cupboard under, southern aspect to garden. Painted floorboards, Cast iron fireplace with wooden mantle. Original double wardrobe cupboard. Picture rail.

BEDROOM 5
12'4 x 10'4 (3.76m x 3.15m). Sash window to rear garden. Cast iron Victorian style fireplace with mantle. Fitted shelves. Double wardrobe cupboard with stripped pine doors. Picture rail.

FAMILY BATHROOM
9' x 8'6 (2.74m x 2.59m). Double aspect with sash window to each side. Wood panelled steel bath with Victorian style mixer taps and shower attachment. Independent shower with glazed bricks, thermostatic shower, shower tray and mosaic tiled walls. Wide bowl pedestal wash basin. Low level w.c. Bidet. Shaver point. Half tiled walls. Hatch to insulated roof space. Half glazed door.

HALF LANDING
Dado rail. Painted floorboards. Stairs to ground floor entrance hall. Antique style radiator.

GROUND FLOOR

ENTRANCE HALL
Original Victorian entrance door with coloured leadlight panels. Antique style radiator. Dado rail. Painted wood floorboards. Attractive Victorian staircase with mahogany newel posts and handrail to cast iron balustrade. Stucco freeze and ceiling beam.

Through SITTING ROOM
27'1 x 12'2 (8.26m x 3.71m). Double aspect room with feature full-height bay window to the front garden and further bay to the rear garden. Cast iron fireplace with tile inset, hearth, marble mantle and fitted gas fire. Original cornice and rose. Picture rail. Exposed limed floorboards. Overhead shelf top. 2 Antique style radiators. Dimmer switch. 2nd Chimney breast.

DRAWING ROOM
20'5 x 15'4 (6.22m x 4.67m). Double aspect room with feature sash bay window to southerly aspect and garden. Sash window to the east garden. High skirtings, picture rail, cornice and rose. Limed floorboards. Panelled window architraving. Exposed brick fireplace with marble mantle, slate hearth and edging. Sink unit and fitted shelf.

STUDY AREA
8'4 x 4'6 (2.54m x 1.37m). Sash window to east garden. Cast iron fireplace. Antique style radiator. Fitted shelves.

UTILITY ROOM
8'6 x 10'3 (2.59m x 3.12m). Sash window to rear garden. Stainless steel sink unit with double drainer, drawer and cupboards under. Double airing cupboard with copper jacketed hot water tank and slatted shelves. Electronic programmer. Space and plumbing for washing machine. Worcester Greenstar 30cdi combination gas fired boiler. Double radiator. Door to rear garden.

STORE ROOM/Small STUDY
Oak bureau with drawer and cupboards, shelves and over cupboards.

GARDEN FLOOR
Original stairs from ground floor. Cloaks hanging space. Double radiator. Exposed wood floor.

CLOAKROOM
6'4 x 5'1 (1.93m x 1.55m). Casement window. White suite of low level w.c. and wide bowl pedestal wash basin. Tiled floor. Feature arch with fitted mirror and half wall tiling. Understairs cupboard.

REAR LOBBY
Half barn style door to Wood Store/Cellar. Brick steps and glazed door to garden.

‘L' shaped KITCHEN/FAMILY ROOM
18'4 x 26'4 (5.59m x 8.03m). Bay window to south and double doors to brick seating area. Painted brick fireplace with slate hearth, recessed cupboards to each alcove with stripped pine double doors. Limed oak floorboards. Double radiator. Recessed spotlighting and dimmer switch. Plate rack. White kitchen comprising Butler's sink with mixer taps and worktops to each side with drawers and cupboards under. Ceramic top with grooved drainer. Stainless steel gas cooker range with hob and oven under. Stainless steel extractor hood and light over to tiled chimney alcove. Fitted shelves. Arch to open lobby. Space for fridge/freezer. Tiled splashback. Sash window to rear garden. Lobby area to Play Room, Utility Cupboard and Larder with wooden floorboards, larder cupboard with fitted shelves, electric light and fuse box.

UTILITY CUPBOARD
6'5 x 7'2 (1.96m x 2.18m). Butler's sink with worktop and cupboards under. Fitted shelving. Space for fridge/freezer. Painted floorboards.

PLAY ROOM
23'7 x 9'10 (7.19m x 3.00m). Sash window to front garden. Antique style radiator. Arched study area with desk and work bench. Recessed spotlighting.

OUTSIDE

DETACHED OUTBUILDING/GARAGE/STUDIO/CUNTSVILLE
Ground floor: 19'10 x 20' (6.05m x 6.10m). Up-and-over double garage door. Work bench. Electric lighting and power point. Gas supply for separate system. Glazed door to garden. Wooden stairs to first floor studio/office, 19'6 x 17' (5.94m x 5.18m) with triple aspect and porthole window to south, sash window to west and Velux window to west. Exposed floorboards. Study desk. Fitted shelving. Hatch to insulated roof space.

GARDEN
A timber front gate leads to a shaped brick front pathway through bamboo and a walled front boundary and leads to the front step with wrought iron hand railings and herb , shrub and beautiful flower borders. A west lawn with brick path and privet hedge to the lower south facing private pond with separate garden floor entrance with seating and storage cupboard, as well as outside light. The plot has a very large frontage with long south facing lawn screened from St Annes Crescent with fig, walnut, palm and other trees. Double gates to brick driveway for 3 cars (in tandem) leads to the side of the house, defining the boundary to a possible building plot to the east of the house (subject to planning permission) for a property that appears to be built in a double plot. Activity tree, sunken trampoline and play platform with storage under. To the rear there are raised vegetable plots and creeper/climbing plants around the study, with brick patio leading to an attractive brick walled seating area for afternoon/evening sun and steps to the rear entrance. Brick shed 5' x 2'6 (1.52m x 0.76m). Outside water tap and outside lights.

Here are some pictures of how the 1% here live:





This is clearly a spare I.e. unused room... The standup is apparently One Direction






The basement/playroom together with classic massive dollhouse and dartboard



The ornate frontage of the "double garage/workbench/studio/office" that was most probably originally a home for the Victorian servants of the original family. AKA Cuntsville. Submerged trampoline and - of course - a slide


Oh we'll just dump our handmade wooden canoe and VW here in a bush together with both our full sized goalposts since the kids got bored with those.

The address we snapped brings up the owner with 8 previous and current directorships all of which fall into the field of "management consulting".

How do these people make so much money telling people how to do the real work, I strawberry floating despair and with such shitty kids as well.

[coldspice]

We also think the same property has a trampoline they get stoned and jump on at quarter to midnight babbling like big babies

[Hypes]

Start squatting

[Victor Mildew]

A guy up the road decided to start pressure washing his drive last evening at about 8, and did not stop until about 9.45. It's only a small drive too. Amazingly I could hear a funny noise below my music, so I turned that off and he's out there again pressure washing the same drive IN THE PISSING RAIN

[Balladeer]

Duh, of course he is. The rain’s making his drive all dirty with rain water. Got to wash that off before it sticks.

[Victor Mildew]

Leaf blower bloke is out yet again, in full high vis jacket, rev rev reeeeeving that leaf blower, blowing away all of those invisible leaves from his 3m square lawn.

A petrol leaf blower. Just strawberry float off you banana split.

[Drumstick]

Why, why does he need the hi-vis jacket? It's 5pm in strawberry floating July.

[Green Gecko]

Council have written a letter to cuntsville in the outhouse behind us, but seeing as no-one is actually living there, it'll probably take a while for the parents to collect their mail and do, well, nothing I expect.

[pjbetman]

Actually recorded using a miniature telescopic zoom microphone for a full hour the teenage banana splits in the outhouse directly behind us DJing and yelling until about half one in the morning, they even got on the mic after turning UP the music at 1am to start yelling stupid gooseberry fool at each other. They were literally doing "brrrrap"s and the first song on loop for about 20 minutes included a fog horn sound on repeat for about 5 seconds straight. Wish I was making it up.

Heading over there today after having gotten two police case numbers and a noise log completed for at least a month together with this recording where they can clearly be heard talking about passing a zoot and having another pint, so not only are they drinking which is fine but likely to be disorderly they are doing drugs too, now this doesn't bother me personally but it does add to the picture, that should get the shitters up the little twats, whether it's their parents or the kid that answers I don't care, it's strawberry floating illegal and they should shut the strawberry float up that late at night.

To clarify they STARTED DJing at about 10:30 pm and carried until in we eventually got to sleep. Quite pleased as a musician I can just fight speakers with microphones and set it to record out the velux window we sleep under and know that every second I am suffering I am recording all their stupid babble.

Tone should change once they realise everyone can hear their stupid hurrr derp brrrrap gooseberry fool the whole time as well as record it happening. Good luck contesting an environmental protection order or the police confiscating the equipment, nobody needs a strawberry floating PA system on in a residential area, not a venue with a proper license etc, at past midnight any day of the week. Buy some strawberry floating small monitors and some soundproofing and do it during reasonable hours, sure, but this is taking the strawberry floating piss repeatedly for months.

And yes we're pretty sure it's the shitty clockwork Casio drummer now getting into DJing with their m8s at 1am on random days (including Sunday nights and week nights). We also think the same property has a trampoline they get stoned and jump on at quarter to midnight babbling like big babies and they even own a strawberry floating cockerel that goes off in the morning so you can be woken up as well.

I couldn't believe it when it started to make sense this was all coming from the same place but they obviously think they have the run of the neighbourhood thanks to their massive strawberry floating house and seperate outhouse colonised by bamboo and massive trees/shrubs they never cut which shades literally every single surrounding garden from the sun. They just don't give a strawberry float, and I'm amazed that no other neighbours seem to have complained about it as you can see their upstairs/bedroom lights coming on at 1am, floorboards and stairs creaking either side of us and windows slamming due to people being woken up and pissed off, so I will tell them to please stop, the relevant agencies are already aware of it.

I'm just going to walk up to their door and play the recording straight out of dictaphone while holding fast forward so the clear LCD display shows 5 minutes, 7 minutes, 10, minutes, 40 minutes (when the volume went up), 1hr etc which will feature random clips of them rabbiting on about booze and tokes, with it time stamped as well (I even had the date correct on this thing which is amazing because I hardly ever use it). Should speak for itself. I thought about clipping a small Marshall amplifier to my belt and plugging that into the dictaphone too for playback but that would look crazy.

[Victor Mildew]

I know exactly what fog horn sound you mean too