The moan about your neighbours thread - Stool Bloke returns...

[Moggy]

Funnily enough, that is my name

Alan?

[Prototype]

Funnily enough, that is my name

Holy gooseberry fool.

[Balladeer]

Funnily enough, that is my name

Is your wife called Liz perchance...?

[Zilnad]

Funnily enough, that is my name

Is your wife called Liz perchance...?

Looks like you've cracked the code. Please keep this information safe and use it not for evil.

[Zilnad]

Neighbour has her daughter and grandchildren round in her garden today. She's been ignoring social distancing guidelines anyway so it's no surprise but I guess Dominic Cummings has made her go full on "strawberry float it". Her husband is in the high risk category, apparently, so on her head be it.

[Victor Mildew]

Neighbour has her daughter and grandchildren round in her garden today. She's been ignoring social distancing guidelines anyway so it's no surprise but I guess Dominic Cummings has made her go full on "strawberry float it". Her husband is in the high risk category, apparently, so on her head be it.

Bin bint pulled up in her car with her mum earlier, along with her daughter. They were carrying stuff that looked like they'd been out to the beach or something. The mum does not live with them.

[Zilnad]

Next door are having yet another family gathering on their front lawn. They've set a BBQ up and filled their lawn with deck chairs and tables right in front of our living room window. I'm getting strawberry float sick of it now. We're just chilling in our garden at the minute but when we decide to go indoors we'll have to have our windows and curtains closed.

At least they haven't called over the fence to us today.

[Dual]

Next door are having yet another family gathering on their front lawn. They've set a BBQ up and filled their lawn with deck chairs and tables right in front of our living room window. I'm getting strawberry float sick of it now. We're just chilling in our garden at the minute but when we decide to go indoors we'll have to have our windows and curtains closed.

At least they haven't called over the fence to us today.

Maybe they were trying to tell you about todays barbecue

[Victor Mildew]

I don't know how people can just endlessly be doing DIY. It's a beautiful day, just shut the strawberry float up and enjoy it for 5 minutes without hammering or using an angle grinder or sawing something. strawberry floating hell.

Yesterday was absolute bliss becuase I think the entire road did a Cummings and went to the beach all day. Not a single sound outside bar a bird tweeting or a bee merrily buzzing through the air. Today though, for strawberry float sake.

BANG BANG BANG SAW SAW SAW GRRRRRRRRRNNNNNEEEEEAAAAAAWWWWWWWWW BANG BANG BANG

[Vermilion]

I don't know how people can just endlessly be doing DIY. It's a beautiful day, just shut the strawberry float up and enjoy it for 5 minutes without hammering or using an angle grinder or sawing something. strawberry floating hell.

Yesterday was absolute bliss becuase I think the entire road did a Cummings and went to the beach all day. Not a single sound outside bar a bird tweeting or a bee merrily buzzing through the air. Today though, for strawberry float sake.

BANG BANG BANG SAW SAW SAW GRRRRRRRRRNNNNNEEEEEAAAAAAWWWWWWWWW BANG BANG BANG

Maybe it's a west country thing, but this happens around here every time the sun comes out, and don't even get me started on the shitting bonfires every evening!

[grog monster 64]

My next-door neighbour’s cat is using my garden as a toilet. It’s been a few months now, and it’s starting to really get to me. 4-6 scrumps of gooseberry fool per session, twice a day, buried in grass that the little banana split has torn up. I just came in from my evening pick-up, and it was all I could do not to fling it right over the wall. Aargh.

[Choclet-Milk]

My next-door neighbour’s cat is using my garden as a toilet. It’s been a few months now, and it’s starting to really get to me. 4-6 scrumps of gooseberry fool per session, twice a day, buried in grass that the little banana split has torn up. I just came in from my evening pick-up, and it was all I could do not to fling it right over the wall. Aargh.

Get a shovel and fling it back over the fence.


Then post the gooseberry fool through their letterbox.

[Zilnad]

My next-door neighbour’s cat is using my garden as a toilet. It’s been a few months now, and it’s starting to really get to me. 4-6 scrumps of gooseberry fool per session, twice a day, buried in grass that the little banana split has torn up. I just came in from my evening pick-up, and it was all I could do not to fling it right over the wall. Aargh.

Get a shovel and fling it back over the fence.


Then post the gooseberry fool through their letterbox.

That would be a really dick move. As annoying as it is, it's next to impossible to control what cats get up to outside of their home. Just deal with it and don't be an arsehole. Maybe put some citronella down or some other kind of scent for deterring cats.

[Choclet-Milk]

My next-door neighbour’s cat is using my garden as a toilet. It’s been a few months now, and it’s starting to really get to me. 4-6 scrumps of gooseberry fool per session, twice a day, buried in grass that the little banana split has torn up. I just came in from my evening pick-up, and it was all I could do not to fling it right over the wall. Aargh.

Get a shovel and fling it back over the fence.


Then post the gooseberry fool through their letterbox.

That would be a really dick move. As annoying as it is, it's next to impossible to control what cats get up to outside of their home. Just deal with it and don't be an arsehole. Maybe put some citronella down or some other kind of scent for deterring cats.

I meant fling the cat.

I was joking.

[grog monster 64]

Yeah, I’m definitely not going to lob gooseberry fool over the wall. I’ve tried anti pet spray, which seems citronella-based, and it’s done nothing. Looking at getting frequency-emitters that, while inaudible to humans, are apparently unpleasant enough to deter most small animals. It’s got to be better than ferreting about with a bin bag over my hand picking up cat squelch. I know this is a moan about your neighbours thread, so to be fair they are very apologetic, and good sorts. I can’t imagine living next to Stool Bloke and Cake Poster.

[Victor Mildew]

Nobody was genuinely suggesting anyone should throw gooseberry fool over a wall!

[Drumstick]

Yeah, I’m definitely not going to lob gooseberry fool over the wall. I’ve tried anti pet spray, which seems citronella-based, and it’s done nothing. Looking at getting frequency-emitters that, while inaudible to humans, are apparently unpleasant enough to deter most small animals. It’s got to be better than ferreting about with a bin bag over my hand picking up cat squelch. I know this is a moan about your neighbours thread, so to be fair they are very apologetic, and good sorts. I can’t imagine living next to Stool Bloke and Cake Poster.

You should ask the owners of the cat what they use.

[Tomous]

I really like cats and would probably get one if my missus liked them but when you think about it, it is pretty outrageous someone else's pet can wander into your garden and gooseberry fool everywhere

[Red]

We just used to chuck a bowl of water at any that strayed in the garden, tended to deter them. You've got to be alert though, and able to dash out quickly to issue the drenching.

[Jenuall]

If my neighbours cat starts shitting in my garden then all bets are off! If you get a pet then that comes with a degree of burden, it's not a wild animal it's your pet and you are responsible for it!