The moan about your neighbours thread - Stool Bloke returns...

[DarkRula]

Really goes to show the willingness to attack others for the smallest of things. Hopefully you have no more problems now the situation is understood. Bet the neighbour stays the same in terms of all that noise, though. Now she knows you're deaf she'll probably think she can get away with it all.

[Victor Mildew]

Bin bint put her Christmas decorations up on Friday (I know because the tree is in the window with lights on and she doesn't close her curtains.

[Moggy]

"Why are you sneaking into her garden to stare into her window?"

"Uhhh I wanted to see her Christmas tree...."

[Jenuall]

"And why have you brought your camera with you sir?"

[Wedgie]

Really goes to show the willingness to attack others for the smallest of things. Hopefully you have no more problems now the situation is understood. Bet the neighbour stays the same in terms of all that noise, though. Now she knows you're deaf she'll probably think she can get away with it all.

That’s why the council is providing us noise recording equipment for two months. Something about making decibels record. They take it seriously as they felt it is harassment. The neighbour had been warned about it so I doubt she will start anything.

She is still fuming at us, as she gave us dirty looks as we walk past on the street and I just laugh out loud at her.

[pjbetman]

The council came around last week Monday because of the neighbour upstairs complaining about my children being noisy during the early afternoon.

My children came here every second weekends and stay here for the weekend.

I’ll hold my hands up and say yes they can be very wild. Considering that they are all deaf too and the young two doesn’t quite understand the notion of noises and there is nothing much I can do considering the COVID situation which means I can’t usually take them to the soft play or any activity that means they can let off steam. As for the screaming during the nights, there is nothing I can do as I’m deaf too. My gf is deaf.

My children aren’t the type to scream during the nights on purpose as more often I checked on them before going to bed they were fast asleep. Maybe a react to nightmare? But all four screaming seems unlikely.

But the problem is the date that the neighbours complained doesn’t match the dates that my children was here. I don’t think my girlfriend and I have been banging doors and running around screaming.

Then the council worker froze. The BSL interpreter that they booked for us said that the neighbours upstairs is banging their doors and suddenly the TV blaring out at a high volume. The council worker asked us if we can hear those things. I do felt some odd jolt but other than that, no.

The council worker, interpreter and I went upstairs. She knocked the door and suddenly the tv went silent. The witch answered the door and from what I can see, she recognised the council worker.

The interpreter said it seems that this neighbour didn’t realise that the council was visiting. And she didn’t realise that we are all deaf downstairs. She hardly said a word and the council worker has mentioned this seems like a harassment.

All because apparently, I shut the front door into the building foley as the neighbour was saying hold the door several times while she was carrying her grocery bags.

The neighbour went red when the penny finally dropped that her beloved downstairs neighbours are deaf and she admitted that there weren’t any noises most of on the dates she complained about.

The council worker has send out a letter saying that the neighbours have decided to drop all the complaints. But the council has provided sound sensor equipment and said that the neighbours is the noisy ones and they take this equally seriously as we are deaf.

All of this just because the neighbour thought my gf and I ignored their shouts of holding the door. You wouldn’t believe how bitter a 50s woman neighbour can get.

Satisfying end from here now on I hope.

What a slag!

[DarkRula]

Really goes to show the willingness to attack others for the smallest of things. Hopefully you have no more problems now the situation is understood. Bet the neighbour stays the same in terms of all that noise, though. Now she knows you're deaf she'll probably think she can get away with it all.

That’s why the council is providing us noise recording equipment for two months. Something about making decibels record. They take it seriously as they felt it is harassment. The neighbour had been warned about it so I doubt she will start anything.

She is still fuming at us, as she gave us dirty looks as we walk past on the street and I just laugh out loud at her.

Despite understanding, she's just put another reason to hate you on her list. How much more petty can she get?

[Green Gecko]

Wow I'm incredulous to that story, what a horrible person!

I was going to say N1FFF probably has misophonia, I have ASC which includes misophonia or extreme sensitivity to sounds however I have some strategies to combat this and while I have never lived in a flat (and the most I have ever paid to rent is my current property which is £1075pcm no bills no CT) I would certainly recommend in such specific circumstances not to rent a flat!

I would like to credit N1FFF despite his low tolerance for noise as to the politeness of his posts, I am sure we would all prefer to have a neighbour like that even if they do make regular noise complaints.

Thanks I appreciate your explanation but I am still not convinced that should be the case.

Can we have a rule this is the basic response to a difference in opinion?

N1FFF you have a good income maybe you could try the FLARE ear inserts for these ocassions. They are not earplugs but they curve off the part of the spectrum that naturally triggers fight or flight response in people with sound related anxiety and I find them very helpful for street noise outside and inside for example works being done in neighbouring properties or just those "grating" sounds in general, without robbing yourself of the right to use your hearing for normal day to day living.

[Jenuall]

Miso, you've tried the soup now try the phonia!

[Balladeer]

...today I learned I probably have misophonia. Huh.

[Green Gecko]

...today I learned I probably have misophonia. Huh.

I wouldn't worry, it's not a clinically classified "disorder" and so some would argue it's a made up "disease".

But it does colloquially describe what most people would consider an "extreme" reaction to certain sounds, which (logically) probably does have some root in the brain or nervous system, because that's the only explanation for why people respond to certain sounds differently.

[Balladeer]

No fuss, I'm not worried! I've already been diagnosed with dyspraxia and probably have some other undiagnosed stress condition. I just like to be able to put a label on things, and it sounds better than 'light sleeper' (which it isn't really, it's 'can't get to bloody sleep because somebody's having a 'phone call five hundred metres away').

[Green Gecko]

Yeah, I have issues sleeping often too, I use white noise but at the moment my medication just makes it basically impossible to not sleep within 2hrs of taking it.

I did some more reading and it's an interesting demarcation in pop psychology / poorly understood neurological differences, the correct term would be hyperacusis, which means sensitivity to particular (or all) areas of the sound spectrum. Something I've suffered with forever, and makes it basically impossible for me to cope in a normal working environment or busy places anything more than ocassionally.

[Prototype]

Yeah, I have issues sleeping often too, I use white noise but at the moment my medication just makes it basically impossible to not sleep within 2hrs of taking it.

I did some more reading and it's an interesting demarcation in pop psychology / poorly understood neurological differences, the correct term would be hyperacusis, which means sensitivity to particular (or all) areas of the sound spectrum. Something I've suffered with forever, and makes it basically impossible for me to cope in a normal working environment or busy places anything more than ocassionally.

Is there a specific set of those earplugs your recommend from amazon GG?

[Imrahil]

It's a tricky one with these noise cancelling earplugs. It probably depends on your situation.

It is possible, to some extent, to train yourself to be slightly more adaptive to various noises. I'm sensitive to nuisance noise and have a tendency to fixate on it and let myself get irritated, but I've found ways to overcome it in some circumstances.

Beginning of summer, my neighbour put up some really clunky wind chimes, so initially I was very anxious every time I heard them outside my window ("Great! So that's my peace and quiet gone this summer! I've gone from hearing nothing but birdsong and distant noises to this cacophony all day!", etc).

But within a month I wasn't even registering them any more as nuisance noises, they'd become just another background noise. It's annoying that I have to go through that process, but I'd rather have done that than force myself to wear noise cancelling earplugs all day every day.

If I'd done that I would have just been feeding my compulsive tendencies to noise and given in. It can quickly become another crutch that you have to rely on.

[Prototype]

Great point, Imrahil, and you're totally right.

I've researched hyperacusis and misophonia etc and I definitely, at least compared to my girlfriend, experience heightened reactions to mild noises.

For example, the neighbours tumble dryer pissed me off...unreasonably so. They got a new one which is 100x quieter but because I was so fixated on the previous noise pissing me off I can still tune into it. I know that this is a me issue, and nothing to do with my neighbours at this stage, for sure.

How did you find yourself tuning out of being triggered by the wind chimes etc? Just keeping busy?

[Imrahil]

How did you find yourself tuning out of being triggered by the wind chimes etc? Just keeping busy?

I achieved it by making a point of not altering what I was already doing. So for example, I didn't stand up and close the window, I didn't change my routine and go and do something in another part of the house, I didn't put on headphones and listen to music to drown it out. All of that is avoidance, which just continues to feed the irrational response to the original 'nuisance' noise.

So I just sat there and did what I would have otherwise been doing and let myself adapt to it despite the irritation. It took several weeks but my brain ended up treating the noise no differently to birdsong, distant dog barking, etc.

There are limits to this obviously. If a neighbour is being downright unreasonable and blasting out loud music then no manner of techniques will solve that - but that becomes more a question of confronting them about it or contacting the council.

[Chocolate-Milk]

Miso, you've tried the soup now try the phonia!

I feel like this didn't get enough recognition

[Jenuall]

Miso, you've tried the soup now try the phonia!

I feel like this didn't get enough recognition

You're one of the good guys C-M!

[Green Gecko]

Treatment via methods like CBT which people can teach themselves is also pretty effective yes.

I use the grey Flare "calmer" ones, they were a gift form my girlfriend and they do help especially out and about. I take them out and it's like my ears prick up like a cat; I've dulled my senses enough that things don't grate so much or a bus I perceive like a jet engine etc, but hardly to the degree that I can't sustain normal things like a conversation (in fact that's a big problem in busy spaces because I "hear everything yet nothing". I find it almost impossible to focus on specific sounds in noisy environments, which is both socially debilitating but also dangerous.)