The Work Thread 2 - Get back to work!

[Green Gecko]

Completely out of nowhere a recruiter has approached me for a role at where I am 99% dead certain (based on postcode) is err the direct competitor with Unreal Engine.

UX Lead so the head of the, or a, team of largely interface designers. Probably for said product or other things (my understanding is there is a lot of experimenting going on in the company including stuff like AR and VR).

3 days per month in the London office, rest remote (also an office where I live anyway) and salary max 50k.

I am very tired of tyre tickers and cost of living is getting difficult, starting to take out more loans, and it's possible to work this compressed hours 4 days a week (I think).

The company has an amazing track record on work/life balance, benefits and company culture so it if it did progress it would be fairly stupid to turn it out to continue on with my business full time.

So it's either go after this like hell, or transform my business within 4-8 weeks. I know the route most people would take.

Anyhow, wish me luck, I might be getting into games!

Somewhat relevant, today:

I'm looking to have t shirts with my work's logo printed on them for 50-100 people but would like to trial just 1 or 2 to start, is it possible to have a trial run made today?

Thanks!

OK, so, the first bolded part tells me you are doing this for your boss, and you've left it to the last possible minute, and they insist on seeing a "trial", and quite possibly have no intention whatsoever of buying the 50-100 T-shirts stated.

Also, you want the "trial" today, for some strawberry floating reason.

Today, I am completing my VAT return and tendering numerous projects because that is what's on my schedule already. Just to get through the sales funnel here is probably going to take a couple of hours, because that is what these clients are like.

Why should I go out of my way to make 1 out of possibly maybe 100 T-shirts immediately for whatever reason? And are you going to pay upfront, or argue about that in nebulous double talk about why that isn't possible for bloody ages? Such as a "cooling off period for payments", which is what it was last time (I said that wasn't possible).

So, where is the artwork, what's your logo, where do you want the print on the T-shirt, what kind of T-shirt do you want, how many colours in the design, what sizes do you need, all of that gooseberry fool. I can ask these questions and receive no answer by mid afternoon I am quite sure.

So I'll send a link to my online design your own T-shirt tools, and ask them to submit that to me. They won't do that. No, it's got to be a phone call for some reason, something I repeatedly explain I can't do without a commitment because of sensory processing disorder, or at least some time to plan for that. Layout the T-shirt however you want it inside your web browser and then we'll print that. Nah we've got to attempt to communicate that visually in a conversation because why not. We'll talk about possibly maybe doing something for up to 40 minutes, and then they'll disappear.

Or maybe none of this happens, I stick to my policies, there are no same day turnarounds, there are no provisional payments if you maybe like the thing, look at my testimonials, look at the quality (there are hundreds of photos), make a purchasing decision, provide adequate time needed to physically produce that thing, and get on with it. If you really hate it, I'll give you your money back because it's not worth the aggro. Then order the rest of the T-shirts, or don't, I don't really care because I'll get another email like this soon.

strawberry floating hell it's something new every week in terms of fuckaboutery that translates into a value of 1-2% what it purports to be and it's no wonder I am thinking of working a full time job instead of wasting my life.

I need to nuke these from orbit and possibly have it so my form is impossible to submit without agreeing to a couple of really basic things.

[Drumstick]

Anyhow, wish me luck, I might be getting into games!

Good luck mate, you deserve it.

[Red]

Made it onto the Historic England Archaeology Twitter feed (bottom left) with the dig at Birdoswald on Hadrian's Wall. Doing a section drawing of rubble built up against the south wall of the military bathhouse we newly discovered there!

twitter.com/HE_Archaeology/status/1545439491384659968

[Green Gecko]

Not sure what happened to the lead or if it's even real or not (I think so, way too many coincidences) but in other news I had to lay off one of my part time PAs for a sheer inability to do their job, after they spent about 50 minutes talking themselves out of it and effectively resigning anyway.

Can't have much confidence in a person that when reviewing their performance they lack the conviction to even do anything about it and instantly (a) argue (b) give up. Especially when you depend on that person for upkeeping your basic well-being.

Everyone else concerned says good riddance, so while doing this is not even the remotest bit fun, and I actually felt awfully sad for days about it (I spent a good while sat in the toilet with my head in my hands thinking about what I was just driven to do), my experience continues in respect of both employing and dismissing people. I guess it has to happen eventually if you go anywhere near employment or management. I felt vulnerable and threatened by their behaviour which is Not Cool.

To the extent I think I need a camera (as I'm unable to keep meticulous records) for when we go away and for when people are working in my home and cause me to feel like that (racing heart, sweating, afraid etc).

I gave them 10 months on the job in which they never passed their probation (since doing so would have confirmed a permanent employment which was obliviously not justifiable - yet, and even then, the notice for termination was still 1 week) and couldn't do the most basic stuff, so I honestly feel I was about as humanistic and pragmatic as I could have been. I felt like I did about 30-50% of the work I was asking for "leading by example" with a relaxed management style (no "Just strawberry floating Do It" or "Not My Problem" - JFDI/NMP style management), constantly supervising the most basic things, like this thing goes here in this void that is the shape of that thing and that's where the thing goes and has done for hundreds of days on the job - I'm describing a random example but a child could do this gooseberry fool. I'm counting three counts of gross misconduct (including being drunk/wasted twice) and breach of confidentiality and a countless string of basic incompetencies and potentially neglect as well. Hence summary dismissal with notice (1 week notice paid, plus unpaid holiday, final paycheck etc).

I even paid the guy double time recently which turned out to be pointless as there comes a point where rewarding poor performance doesn't motivate someone and they are instead just taking the strawberry floating piss on an easy ride. It's not right, when working with vulnerable people in a position of safeguarding them, if you instead make them feel frightened the line is drawn there immediately and they are gone.

[Johnny Ryall]

Bad that I'm kind of missing lockdown? I'm more productive and happy working from home, went to 2 days a week in the office in May and they are already trying to move us to 3 one week 2 the next. Sigh.

[poshrule_uk]

The only answer is to go to China and leak some new virus so we can lockdown all over again

[Zilnad]

"Can we have a call to discuss this?"

There's nothing to discuss. Everything is clearly covered in my email Oh well, at least it'll probably be quick.

[Outrunner]

Work have sent me through a letter inviting me to fill in an exit questionnaire and attend an exit interview. They spelt my name wrong on the letter . Clearly I'll be taking this into account when I fill in the exit questionnaire.

[Xeno]

I remember some of mine. I have always been super neutral regarding the people and company but really negative at the toxic bs processes. There has been the odd one where I left it blank as I just could not find any motivation.

[Outrunner]

There's very little room for nuance on the form. Like, there's a question about managers. My senior manager has been awful and I hate her but if I'm critical of management I don't want to be throwing my line managers (who, for the most part have been fine) under the bus.

I'm debating whether or not to have the exit interview to clarify points. If I do I'm requesting it's from HR rather than my manager at work. I don't want to run the risk of my senior manager being the one who does the interview.

[Red]

I've never bothered doing them - they're not to benefit you, and very little is likely to come of them.

[poshrule_uk]

I always tend to stay non controversial with my exit interviews, never trash anyone but will give my opinion to a point but nicely.

Never know who I might work with again and try not to burn bridges.

[Qikz]

Didn't end up getting that 3 hour interview job, apparantly not technical enough for what they wanted so I guess I must've strawberry floated up the technical parts of the interview. Oh well, I'm relatively happy at my job now so that's all good.

[Memento Mori]

"Can we have a call to discuss this?"

There's nothing to discuss. Everything is clearly covered in my email Oh well, at least it'll probably be quick.

These bastards.

It rarely is quick. They try calling you and the call won't connect, so you try calling them and they're apparently already away from desk. So you send another email saying you tried to call and then they finally get hold of you on the phone and the question is something you've already told them and could have been reiterated in a one line email.

[Green Gecko]

"Can we have a call to discuss this?"

There's nothing to discuss. Everything is clearly covered in my email Oh well, at least it'll probably be quick.

These bastards.

It rarely is quick. They try calling you and the call won't connect, so you try calling them and they're apparently already away from desk. So you send another email saying you tried to call and then they finally get hold of you on the phone and the question is something you've already told them and could have been reiterated in a one line email.

This but it has to be a face to face meeting on a Sunday at your home address.

Guys never get into business, people are strawberry floating insane when it comes to their expectations.

The "can I call you" (when the answer is occupationally, no) are the strawberry floating worst.

Write a really comprehensive email, broken down into headers, with supporting graphics and diagrams, that goes over every possible customer pain point or query you could imagine based on 8 years of doing the same thing, tailored specifically to the client who I have already vetted before I do this.

Do you have number i can call you on?

My response is pretty reasonable.

Hi [Customer],

I am so sorry, with the autism, I can't access the phone without a lot of planning. So I don't have an official number. I communicate almost exclusively in text. This is due to memory issues, and the way my brain processes information; I forget what I am saying in the middle of a conversation, and I don't understand voices very easily. Autism is a neurological difference in the brain. I use screen reader also and flip colours on displays. I often have to re-read text many times. But I can do a chat session through my website, or book a consultation (20-40mins)?

[Screenshot of where chat facility is on my website]

It is really down to making work possible for myself being disabled, which may seem selfish... I understand it's a bit painful. I also sometimes use Instagram, but not WhatsApp (no smartphone). I am hiring a secretary soon using my support budget but it won't go very far.

I wish I could do things differently, but it is down to the learning disabilities and a big part of why [business] exists, honestly. Sometimes the opposite occurs. In the past, I got chastised for speaking too much about my work. They considered it wasting time... It is just how I was born. I hope that doesn't sound like excuses. I also can forget what people say, which is not very professional.

Happy to answer questions. I can try to keep it shorter. I'm hiring someone with ADD maybe because they can't write long things. One of my personal assistants is like that.

Client immediately disappears because no it absolutely HAS to be a phone call for strawberry float all reason, even though they wrote to me with specific questions, that had specific answers.

Tbh I don't give a gooseberry fool if they do because it's impossible to work with these people who want to waste as much time as possible.

And this can often be a good thing, because people who want to talk a lot about doing a thing, often have little to no interest in doing any of it. It's bullshit work.

Yet another variation of tyre-kicking. People who cannot, or will not make a buying decision, or had no intention of buying anything and think writing and asking for stuff is the same thing as walking into a shop and "browsing". It really isn't. It's actively wasting somebody else's time who has like 40 queries to deal with where at least 50% or more are similar to that.

When you consider the same time could be spent helping someone who wants that help and wants the thing they want to be solved, solved, and that can pay your rent. And you spend all this time with people who don't want to do any work and just "chat" about it. It feels like being robbed and it's often the most frustrating feeling ever as there is so much I would rather be doing like, actually making something, or doing my job, imagine that.

Anyway I'm interviewing for a hybrid PA/Secretary next Monday so maybe they can start taking some calls from the bullshit customers - but hey, that's another expense, another resource used up, it's just somebody else doing it instead. And guess what? That budget is finite too. It doesn't solve the problem, it just extenuates and buys into a customer base of people who want to be on the phoneline forever where it's physically impossible to do anything else.

[Memento Mori]

Been given a corporate laptop which is the biggest piece of gooseberry fool I've ever used. You can't even shut it down from the login screen, so if you've forgotten both of the two passwords you need to logon, you have to wait until its battery runs out.

[OrangeRKN]

Write a really comprehensive email, broken down into headers, with supporting graphics and diagrams, that goes over every possible customer pain point or query you could imagine based on 8 years of doing the same thing, tailored specifically to the client who I have already vetted before I do this.

Do you have number i can call you on?

My response is pretty reasonable.

I wonder if it would be easier if you just told them you are deaf

(or more seriously could you have a draft response already made up to send rather than losing time writing up an explanation each time?)

[Green Gecko]

Write a really comprehensive email, broken down into headers, with supporting graphics and diagrams, that goes over every possible customer pain point or query you could imagine based on 8 years of doing the same thing, tailored specifically to the client who I have already vetted before I do this.

Do you have number i can call you on?

My response is pretty reasonable.

I wonder if it would be easier if you just told them you are deaf

(or more seriously could you have a draft response already made up to send rather than losing time writing up an explanation each time?)

I have sometimes said that;- because it can effectively render me dumb/deaf if I'm in a mute state or can just barely get the words out anyhow.

But yeah I should totally use canned responses, which is a thing in my helpdesk, I just fear that they look like predefined responses, because, well, they are.

I do take calls sometimes I just have to schedule them in.

I'll see whether the person I'm interviewing next week can just take notes on stuff that has to expressed orally for some reason so I'm not losing those customers too.

Today it's a request to come to the workshop and chat about their requirements.

If they have requirements, they presumably know what those are, so... write them down. It's a good lead though so I'll offer them an appointment.

[OrangeRKN]

But yeah I should totally use canned responses, which is a thing in my helpdesk, I just fear that they look like predefined responses, because, well, they are.

Yeah I get that, as a small business I guess the "personal touch" is one of the selling points. I reckon it wouldn't necessarily look like a canned response but I'm not in that kind of work so can't judge!

[Green Gecko]

But yeah I should totally use canned responses, which is a thing in my helpdesk, I just fear that they look like predefined responses, because, well, they are.

Yeah I get that, as a small business I guess the "personal touch" is one of the selling points. I reckon it wouldn't necessarily look like a canned response but I'm not in that kind of work so can't judge!

I can totally make it work for me.

I can make it really advanced too. Say for example if a reply contains "call", "have a chat", or similar phrases I can trigger an automated response to explain why that is generally a bad idea.

I really should set these things up. This week has been email hell so I'll prioritise doing so next week. The thing I have to focus on is that preserving my time for the clients who are reasonable and worth pursuing outcomes with are worse off if I am spending a huge amount of my time with people incapable of making pretty basic decisions with being "sold". That actively harms not only the business's performance financially but it also makes them wonder why they are waiting for a response.

This must be a fairly typical situation where a business starts getting a lot of enquiries (maybe 3-4 fold what I had before) and doesn't have appropriate strategies in place to cope with that. This generally means one of two things, automation or hiring.