The Writer's Sphere - Share your writing

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LightWanderer
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PostRe: The Writer's Sphere - Share your writing
by LightWanderer » Fri Aug 30, 2019 10:18 pm

Here's a poem/parody. For context, Preston is the temple for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (aka the Mormons). I'm not going there any time soon, so not an autobiogaphical poem. Just something for a bit of fun.

Enemies might stare
Laugh at me, sneer and glare
Say I'm stupid, unworthy and a fraud
They don't see I've come this far
Made a change, turned my life over to God
Looked to the Saviour
And become the person that He wants

I've definitely struggled with all of these
Rules, temptations and getting a testimony
Of why He gave me life,
I've been in such an awful muddle,
But despite all of my struggles
I'm still alive

And now it's September, and I'm getting all down
Yeah, it's September so no need to frown
Hey, it's time for me
To go to the Lord's house, yeah now

I'm gonna go back to Preston
I'm gonna go back real soon
I'm gonna go back to Preston
Where everything is really cool

Back to scriptures and covenants and spiritual treats
Holy Ghost and the Saviour and spiritual feasts
It's all that I love
And it's all that I need
At Preston
Preston
Glad I'm going back

I'll see my friends
Be baptised for those who have died
Buy new garments
Gonna look to the sky
Oh God will see me and probably cry
He'll look at me
And say that I'm totally awesome!

I'm far from Hell
Been baptised in the font
Learning more of God's heart
Yeah, bring it on
And all this time
Christ has walked along
'Cause together we're totally awesome
Yeah together we're totally awesome!

It's been so long
But I'm going back
Don't go there for c*ck
Don't go there for ass
As long as I'm with the Saviour
It's totally gas
And it's going to be totally awesome!

Yes I'm gonna take the temple by storm
Be praying all night
Saints gonna Morm
And will not forget
That I need to keep to the path
If I want to go back to the Lord

God may seem grumpy
But He's got a huge heart
That's why we pray
and read scriptures to start
Where I still fall short, Christ makes up He's smart
And you bet that's totally awesome!

At the temple I plan to study a lot
Feel the Spirit burning really hot
Yeah come on,
God's the greatest Father we've got
And that's cool
And that's totally awesome
Yeah it's so cool
Yeah it's totally awesome!

I've turned to the Saviour ain't gonna let Him down
It's like I was lost but now I'm found
Think it's very plain to me
Very easy for everyone to see now

I'm gonna go back to Preston
I'm gonna go back real soon
I'm gonna go back to Preston
Where everything is really cool

Back to scriptures and covenants and spiritual treats
Holy Ghost and the Saviour and spiritual feasts
It's all that I love
And it's all that I need
At Preston
Preston
Glad I'm going back

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PostRe: The Writer's Sphere - Share your writing
by DarkRula » Fri Aug 30, 2019 10:33 pm

Nice one. Could definitely be turned into a song. It just has that tone to it for me.

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PostRe: The Writer's Sphere - Share your writing
by LightWanderer » Fri Aug 30, 2019 11:40 pm

DarkRula wrote:Nice one. Could definitely be turned into a song. It just has that tone to it for me.


Thanks. It's a parody of the Darren Criss/TeamStarKid's song "Gotta Get Back to Hogwarts" from A Very Potter Musical

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PostRe: The Writer's Sphere - Share your writing
by DarkRula » Thu Sep 19, 2019 3:44 pm

As stated in HDYFRN, I should have done this two days ago, but with my fifth book now published on the Kindle Store, I thought it best to post both previews here just to give a taste of what is included within The Future Adventures of Halesowen.

First Preview: Wandering to the Future [Story 1]
He barely took notice of Ross who was stood next to Brandon, seemingly waiting for him to finish up what he was doing. Quinn was stood waiting at Daniel’s side, ready and waiting to get going.

The two had already agreed that they’d use this break to record a video about the modules they had coming up in this second year, though Daniel had a feeling Brandon would want to join them as they took the trek down to the town centre, and wanted to give him that opportunity to come.

Standing up, Daniel walked around the row of tables to get in front of the computer Brandon sat at.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

Brandon locked eyes on Daniel for a second before resuming his previous position. “Just finishing up the writing I was doing.” He let his gaze drift to the right as he continued typing. “Wasn’t Ross waiting?”

Daniel had noticed that Ross had left as soon as he had started moving toward them, but hadn’t been concerned by it. With Ross around, Brandon might have been less inclined to join him and Quinn down to town. Though he had been surprised to see the two had been slowly splitting away from each other since they had been back. Ross had already shown a disinterest in the store when they’d first been there and had continued to do so on their numerous visits during the first year, so he shouldn’t really have been surprised that Ross would eventually stop joining them when that store was so frequently visited.

“And… done,” Brandon exclaimed.

Having saved and logged out of the computer, he slung his backpack over his right shoulder, sidestepping out of the row and heading for the exit of the room. Quinn and Daniel followed.

“To the town, then,” Daniel said as they passed the rest of the group.

No-one even acknowledged the comment. He’d expected it. If they wanted to come, they’d make their own way down.

Outside, Daniel looked back in to see if there had been any movement, and quickly hurried Brandon and Quinn around the building into the car park when he noticed that Ross was near the entrance.

“What are we doing?” Brandon asked, slightly harried but curious.

“Just getting to a decent area to start the video,” Daniel answered. “A low amount of noise.”

He then remembered he hadn’t mentioned the video to Brandon before this moment, and spent a quick moment filling him in.

“I’d be a guest on the channel?” he asked.

“For today, and in the future if people respond well. I know you say you don’t like being on video because of your voice, but I’ve never heard a problem with it so I’m sure no-one else will, either.”

It wasn’t exactly true, as Brandon’s voice would occasionally get picked up weird by the microphone on certain sounds, but he didn’t need to be reminding him of that if he was willing to join in on this video and maybe others.

At the other end of the car park, they had a clear view of the hills where he and Quinn had recorded their video on the landscapes of film. It would make a perfect backdrop for the start of this video, and also allowed the rest of the group to get ahead of them on the journey down the hill.

He didn’t want any of them butting in and trying to join on this video. He had allowed it on others he’d done while at the college, but this one he wanted to be more focused. Those that had involved the whole group had certainly been lacking in focus, as had been noted plenty of times in the comments.

Daniel filled Brandon in on what would happen, though with how many of their videos Brandon had watched there seemed little need to do so, but it was always best to be prepared.

Flipping the viewscreen around to where the camera pointed, he turned the camera around so it faced the three of them. His own jet-black hair and light-brown skin showed well on the screen. Quinn’s auburn-red hair provided an outline for her pale face that was merging into the light of the sun. Brandon’s orange-tan skin was also reflecting the sunlight, though not as strongly.

He’d had to move the camera to fit each of them in, first focusing upon himself and Quinn, then himself and Brandon. With both times, the hills in the background were visible between them.

He returned the camera to focusing upon himself and Quinn, pressed record, and began.

“Hello to all! The Wandering Ramblers are here again! I’m Daniel.”

“And I’m Quinn. What you see behind us are the hills where we shot our video on the landscapes of film.”

“Half of our timetable has us scheduled to be up here at the media centre, offering a great view of the surrounding area from the car park and a canal that we can walk along.”

As he paused upon mentioning that, he had an idea of where they could go to ensure there’d be little traffic and have more time to talk.

“But first, we have a guest with us. Welcome to the camera…” He angled the camera slowly to reveal Brandon’s face in a more dramatic way. “Brandon!”

“Hello there,” Brandon said, lifting two fingers of his right hand in welcome. “It’s good to be here.”

“So, Brandon? What is our topic for today?” Daniel asked.

“That topic would be the modules of our second year here at Halesowen College.”

“Yes, we Wandering Ramblers will be covering some of the modules we’re doing on the channel, so we wanted to give an overview of what we’ll be doing. Since you’re the guest, Brandon, which of the modules are you most wanting to get stuck in to?”

“It’d be obvious to say TV Series Production, but that’s where I feel I’d be able to put my creative writing to work the most. However, I’m also interested in the Producing Installation Work module.”

“I think everyone will be interested in that TV Series Production module, and count me as another interested in the installation stuff. For anyone who doesn’t know, installation work is art within a room such as a sculpture that allows people to see it from all angles and sometimes allows for interaction. Mixing in video media with that can add another layer to the piece of art, and I think we’ll be using experimental art to carry this module out.”

Daniel angled the camera to include Quinn, and asked her the same question. Her answer didn’t surprise him.

“Firstly, the Corporate Video Production module is something I feel I’d be very good at, and in fact already have experience with. Company marketing is an area I’d probably focus on, but I’d also want to look into other areas of marketing, so the Factual Program Production module is also one I want to get stuck into.”

“And for me,” Daniel added, “it’d be Multi-Camera Productions. Studio productions are of interest to me, more the behind-the-scenes within the sound deck. We’ll be taking up roles within a production so I’ll be taking the sound engineer role if I can.”

He ended the recording, letting his arm drop.


Second Preivew: Thrill and Chill [Story 4]
The rest of the game passed with him not seeing anyone else, and once again he’d found himself on the top ring just as his gun announced, “Game end. Please return to the armoury.”

The doors of the room were open when Brandon arrived. Walking through them, he quickly sat down. He had been unaware of how hot he’d felt while in the arena, and also how much he needed a rest.

Within a minute, everyone else had returned.

“Hey, Ghost Rider,” Ross called. “Careful you don’t burn anyone with that flame of yours.”

Brandon looked confused at that remark. He ran a hand over his head, and felt it was indeed hot.

“Look at that steam,” Ashley commented. “Have you turned into a barbeque?”

“Really?” Brandon asked. “I’m steaming?”

“Like a fresh cup of tea,” Oliver remarked.

Brandon gave a nervous laugh as he looked over at the other team. They were looking at him, all with laughter on their faces.

It had to have been funny to see. He wished he could see it for himself.

“I’ve got the results of this first game,” the host announced, coming out of the control room after a minute. “Team two earned themselves twenty-five points. Team one earned twenty-six. Good job, teams. Are you ready for the second game?”

They all affirmed they were, even Brandon, who felt he’d have plenty of opportunity to rest while eating. Although for this second battle, he’d certainly try to not overdo it – especially since there would be a third game no matter who won this second.

The second game breezed by, with Brandon having made some faster attacks, though he would still be caught off guard by someone barrelling around a corner and freeze up, allowing that person to get the attack in.

After returning to the armoury, and having received yet more comments about his steaming head, the host announced that they had won the round twenty-two to eighteen. The third match would decide the overall winner, and Brandon felt they stood a chance of winning.

Within the arena again, Brandon found his way to the ramped overlook as fast as he could, and intended to stay there for as long as he could. One of the other team had obviously thought of the idea before him, as when he appeared at the lower end, someone was already there.

He fired a shot and disappeared back the way he had come, found someone else in front of him, and managed to get a second hit before diving down the nearest ramp and hoping he could quickly get across the open area without being hit himself.

He managed to hit a few more of the other team during the third game, though sometimes expected a hit to be confirmed but instead got hit himself. Often he would run into Ross or Oliver, and once they all happened to be caught in the open area, getting hit from all four sides before his sister managed to open a route up for them by managing to hit three of them from the very top overlook, which had made the three blocking the routes retreat into the depths of the arena.

In the last five minutes of the game they had managed to claw back enough points to hopefully win. Brandon wasn’t expecting it though, as they had been caught in that open area for about a minute.

When they all met back at the armoury, Ashely stated, “You know there are more than three ways out of that open space, right? You could have saved yourself instead of being sitting ducks.”

Brandon hadn’t known that, and evidently the other two hadn’t either.

“That was an interesting one,” the host called as he entered from the control room. “It didn’t have too much of an impact on the points, though. Team one managed thirty points, but team two managed to just get ahead with thirty-one.”

They all cheered at that, with both teams shaking hands.

“Well done team two,” the host said. “Get those packs off and I’ll take you back down to the lobby where you can get the results slips of the three games.”

With the packs off and hooked back up, all eight followed the host through the briefing room to a door on the middle of the left wall. Walking down the ramp that followed the wall, they were back in the lobby. The host waved them off and headed back up, with the eight heading to the reception desk, where the receptionist handed out the results slips and pulled the boxes that held their belongings from underneath the desk.

Having collected what was theirs, all eight shared more good games and goodbyes, with the other team heading out before Brandon’s group. Once out, Brandon inhaled deeply and let out a long breath.

“That was fun,” he stated. “We heading off to eat, now?”

“Yeah, we are,” Ross said.

Starting to walk, the four turned left at the end of the road.

“I still can’t believe you didn’t know about those other exits from that open space,” Ashley exclaimed. “You could have at least tried to hide instead of looking like you’d been lassoed in place.”

“We obviously forgot to check in the heat of the moment,” Brandon said with sarcasm.

“It should have been obvious with how open it was.”

“Thanks for the save, anyway,” Ross said. “But it was fun, and that’s all that matters.”

“Indeed,” Oliver stated.

“I really did love it,” Brandon added.

“Speaking of love, I think that one with the blue hair wanted to talk to you,” Ross teased. “Might have been a connection.”

“Nah,” Brandon said. “She might have been laughing at the Ghost Rider comments, but they all were. Besides… Elizabeth…” He faltered on that last part. Ross seemed to know exactly what he was thinking with that.

“Let it go,” he said. He continued in a very pointed tone. “It’s been two months and you’ve barely talked to her. Either get friendly with her again or give up dreaming anything will happen.”

Brandon remained silent at that, unsure exactly what to think.

He wanted to be with Elizabeth. He wanted to be friendly with her, continue talking normally to her. But fear had gripped him, and he had shut himself off from her. He didn’t even know what he feared, but it was there.

He hadn’t even considered that if he wasn’t wanting to be her partner he might once again relax around her.

“Who is this Elizabeth?” he heard his sister ask the other two.

“Someone in our group,” Ross stated. “Someone he’s been pining for pretty much since we started the first year.”

“I haven’t,” Brandon burst out defensively, even though he knew it to be the truth.

Ross grunted with laughter. “You haven’t exactly hidden it. You were all over her in the first year.”

“And now he’s stopped trying to get her to notice him?” Ashley asked.

“I expect there’s a bitterness that she rejected him when he finally did ask her.”

“There isn’t,” Brandon defiantly said. “I just- I don’t know. Can we leave this?”

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PostRe: The Writer's Sphere - Share your writing
by shy guy 64 » Thu Sep 19, 2019 3:58 pm

your fifth you say? nice work

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PostRe: The Writer's Sphere - Share your writing
by DarkRula » Thu Sep 19, 2019 4:42 pm

Thanks for that. Already in planning for the next three.

I still don't really appear a success, but I'm hoping that can change. I'd bought my first book myself a few days back just to check how it was appearing to everyone else (and found I hadn't added the bookmark that allows KDP to detect the content headings that show on the sidebar), and upon recently checking the sales rank on my author central page, was surprised to see that with just one sale it had been boosted from 1.3 million to around fifty thousand. It's dropped down about 250 thousand in the days since that sale, but that number should be high enough to get it some exposure. I'm hoping. No idea how the ranking system actually affects things.

I'm pushing my works out into the wider world more, using LinkedIn, Twitter, and soon Instagram to try to attract attention to not just my Kindle books, but additions to Wattpad and my blog as well in the hopes that those will start off a chain reaction that brings exposure to the entire label which should hopefully end up bringing in the sales. I've got a Patreon, but... that's not going to work unless the following is there in the first place. I'm also putting in a bit more work on the Youtube side of things, trying to have at least one video of some gameplay a month, and trying to link them to my blog where I can.

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PostRe: The Writer's Sphere - Share your writing
by OrangeRKN » Thu Sep 19, 2019 4:50 pm

Well done Rula, just be proud you got another story finished and don't worry about how it's selling!

To comment on that first excerpt, I think you have a little bit of a tendency to repeat character names more than necessary. It might make for nicer reading with less repetition if you try different ways of referring to people, like "Daniel turned to his older friend" rather than "Daniel turned to Brandon" as an example, if the identity of his older friend can be determined from the context already.

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PostRe: The Writer's Sphere - Share your writing
by DarkRula » Thu Sep 19, 2019 5:30 pm

I have noticed that before while reading back through it, but sometimes I just can't find the right way to refer to characters without using their name. Even the simple things like using pronouns instead of repeating names, such as in the line of "Daniel filled Brandon in on what would happen, though with how many of their videos Brandon had watched there seemed little need to do so" where the second Brandon would be replaced with a he. It's one of the things I need to work on getting better at.

But thanks. And I am proud it's out in the world. Back in 2012 when I was just posting short parts on a free site I'd created on Weebly, I never imagined I'd be at my fifth released book. Even in 2013 when I first considered pushing something to the Kindle Store had I imagined I'd still be releasing new things. I'm happy writing, and I'm still releasing new things. But it's not so much worrying about how they're selling as it is about the exposure they've seen. Sometimes it feels as though I'm still at the same point I was in 2012 despite everything I've done since. But I know that's the self-confidence issues kicking in for a quick visit, so there's nothing to really be concerned about with that.

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PostRe: The Writer's Sphere - Share your writing
by shy guy 64 » Thu Sep 19, 2019 7:37 pm

DarkRula wrote:Thanks for that. Already in planning for the next three.

I still don't really appear a success, but I'm hoping that can change. I'd bought my first book myself a few days back just to check how it was appearing to everyone else (and found I hadn't added the bookmark that allows KDP to detect the content headings that show on the sidebar), and upon recently checking the sales rank on my author central page, was surprised to see that with just one sale it had been boosted from 1.3 million to around fifty thousand. It's dropped down about 250 thousand in the days since that sale, but that number should be high enough to get it some exposure. I'm hoping. No idea how the ranking system actually affects things.

I'm pushing my works out into the wider world more, using LinkedIn, Twitter, and soon Instagram to try to attract attention to not just my Kindle books, but additions to Wattpad and my blog as well in the hopes that those will start off a chain reaction that brings exposure to the entire label which should hopefully end up bringing in the sales. I've got a Patreon, but... that's not going to work unless the following is there in the first place. I'm also putting in a bit more work on the Youtube side of things, trying to have at least one video of some gameplay a month, and trying to link them to my blog where I can.


three seems like a reasonable number, wish i could be that controlled

i wish you luck though

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PostRe: The Writer's Sphere - Share your writing
by DarkRula » Thu Sep 19, 2019 7:54 pm

Thanks. They won't all release at the same time, and there won't be any more on the Kindle Store this year. I'm aiming for all three of them to be out in 2020, though.

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PostRe: The Writer's Sphere - Share your writing
by shy guy 64 » Fri Sep 20, 2019 7:43 pm

so heres a question i thought id present to you all, you've all written a few stories or have a few planned right? well are any of your stories set in same world as the others? I'm trying the shared world thing with mine.

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PostRe: The Writer's Sphere - Share your writing
by Gemini73 » Fri Sep 20, 2019 8:09 pm

I started a story about the life of a hospital porter, albeit with a supernatural edge to it. A ghost story of sorts. After a brief introduction I've no Idea where to go now. Writing a full blown story is so damn difficult so kudos to anyone who gets their work down, let alone published.

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PostRe: The Writer's Sphere - Share your writing
by DarkRula » Fri Sep 20, 2019 8:14 pm

Never, unless they were within the same series. At a stretch, the stories I've written in Shorts of the Rula on Wattpad could be seen as being within the same world as Alternate Halesowen and Beyond.

The unified world is something I have wanted to explore, as it offers a new level of world building you can't really get with the focus on just one set of places and characters.

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PostRe: The Writer's Sphere - Share your writing
by Karl_ » Fri Sep 20, 2019 9:04 pm

There is an indie horror short story writer called "m59gar" who links all his stories into the same metaverse. It's fun to notice certain established 'world features' pop up in other stories, linking them together through detail, and as the metaverse gets stronger there is always the chance that characters can meet or events in one story talked about in another.

I thought it was cool, but OTOH as the stories became less self-contained I eventually stopped following them; they were still good I just got a bit lost as I wasn't reading all of them! So I guess that's the downside.

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PostRe: The Writer's Sphere - Share your writing
by shy guy 64 » Fri Sep 20, 2019 10:07 pm

im trying to do my shared world in such a way that you dont need to read the other books to understand whats happening in each, though there will be references and the like, of course its been relatively easy as so far each one has been set in a different country. as it happens im onto my fourth book in said world, i should really go back and go over my second and third and get them up to scratch and maybe one day published.

before being promptly committed to an asylum

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PostRe: The Writer's Sphere - Share your writing
by DarkRula » Fri Sep 20, 2019 11:30 pm

Hopefully those other two can get published somewhere, and even the one currently being written. The first was good, so I see no reason why your other stuff wouldn't get accepted.

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PostRe: The Writer's Sphere - Share your writing
by shy guy 64 » Fri Sep 20, 2019 11:51 pm

DarkRula wrote:Hopefully those other two can get published somewhere, and even the one currently being written. The first was good, so I see no reason why your other stuff wouldn't get accepted.


thanks for the vote of confidence

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