- Joined in 2008
- Location: Botswana
WWE RAW Results May 20th 2013 wrote:
Location: Sprint Center; Kansas City, MO
Commentators: Michael Cole, John "Bradshaw" Layfield and Jerry Lawler
24 hours removed from WWE Extreme Rules, RAW kicked off with an ambulance making its way into the arena with its sirens blaring. Ryback stepped out the back as they aired photos on the Tron of their Extreme Rules match. Back in the building, Ryback had made his way to the roof of the ambulance. He said last night the decision was that there was no decision. The record books state that there was no real winner. He said that while Cena walked away with the WWE Championship, he didn't walk away, he was carried away. They then aired footage from the Extreme Rules Post Show of Cena being stretchered out and refusing to be taken to the hospital. Ryback said at WWE Payback next month John Cena wouldn't be able to refuse medical assistance, nor would it matter if he couldn't stand or had a beating heart, as he was challenging him to an Ambulance match. Ryback said he's going to send Cena to the medical facility, just like the rest of the crowd. He then went on a tirade stating none of the crowd knew anything about nutrition or education, and that everyone in the crowd were "weak, weak, weak, weak, weak..." and pathetic, and that they'd skip the hospital and just end up going straight to the morgue.
They announced that Heyman would reveal who his newest client of "Heyman Enterprises" is later tonight.
They aired a load of fans drinking Sonic milkshakes. Some interesting flavours, that's for sure...
Wade Barrett will take on Sin Cara Wednesday night on Main Event.
Wade Barrett's got new theme music.
Match 1: The Miz and Chris Jericho defeated Wade Barrett & Fandango (w/Summer Rae). Jericho somehow got busted open. Finish saw Fandango start dancing on the outside with Summer Rae, leaving Barrett to get wasted by Jericho in the ring with the Lionsault and Codebreaker. Jericho then tagged in Miz who applied the Figure Four for the submission. After the match, Jericho and Miz confronted Fandango on the outside, which led Fandango to scarper through the crowd, accidentally knocking down a fat fan in the process. Jericho then danced with Summer Rae, before blowing her off.
During the match, Josh Mathews was shown interviewing Road Dogg and Kaitlyn on the WWE App. Cos who cares about the match in the ring, right?
Vickie Guerrero came out and announced that Jack Swagger will wrestle tonight against an opponent chosen by fans of the WWE App. Choices being Great Khali, R-Truth and Randy Orton. Begging the question...what's the strawberry floating point?
Daniel Bryan was in his locker room when Kane walked in. Kane asked him if he was ready for later tonight. Bryan said that it's finally hit him: he's not the tag team champions; Kane isn't the tag team champions; They're both not the tag team champions. Kane told him to stop being so negative. Bryan responded by saying Kane was the one going around telling everyone to "embrace the hate". He said he felt naked without the title. Kane asked whether that had anything to do with him not wearing any pants or a shirt. Bryan didn't see the funny side. Kane said they had a rematch with The Shield and they can't show weakness, as that's what they prey on. Bryan took this to mean that Kane was implying he was the weak link. They both started arguing, as Kofi Kingston came in and broke them up. Bryan stormed off.
They showed a disheartened Mark Henry on the Extreme Rules post show telling a WWE trainer that he was "going home"
Match 2: Sheamus defeated Titus O'Neil (w/Darren Young) with the Brogue Kick in a competitive bout.
Keven Jonas was the WWE Twat of the Night or some such nonsense involving Twitter.
Paul Heyman made his way out to no entrance music. He asked what it feels like to be powerless. He said the crowd's booes wouldn't change the fact that Brock Lesnar defeated HHH last night. History doesn't record booes, rather it'll record that his client emerged victorious in the cage, and that Triple H will go down in history as a loser. While Lesnar is at home enjoying the spoils of war, HHH tucked his sledgehamer between his legs and went home to mummy. Heyman said with Lesnar fulfilling his obligations to WWE, people had questioned what he was now going to talk about. He said it's time for something different. It's time to give us that moment in time where we need to set our DVR. The Youtube clip that we'll all look back on in history and see where it "took a left turn". Heyman claimed that tonight we all witness history. He introduced the "newest Paul Heyman guy": Curtis Axel (Curt Hennig's son from NXT). Axel came out to a dead reaction. He's got a rejigged version of Mr Perfect's theme. Crowd booed. Heyman said it's the exact same reaction the crowd gave Lesnar in 2002, and the same reaction in 2006 that greeted CM Punk in the new ECW (actually they cheered). Heyman said that in the Alice in Wonderland, upside-down land of WWE, having a legacy like Curtis Axel is an albatross that sinks you to the bottom of the talent pool. He says he's playing homage to his Dad and Axe Hennig with his name, but is going to carve out his own niche. With the beard he looks like Mike Knox.
Triple H's music then hit and came out with a smirk on his face. Hunter, clearly not giving a gooseberry fool, sarcastically said "Wow" and blew off Hennig. HHH told Heyman that he could put any spin on last night he wanted, but not to claim he's embarrassed because he isn't embarrassed about a damn thing. He went to war and Lesnar beat him, but he'd beat him at Mania. Triple H said that Lesnar didn't walk away last night, he limped. Mr Axel then got in Triple H's face, and told him that 'The Game' had now changed. Triple H, grinning like a loon, slapped him in the face, and Axel fell to the mat like a piece of piss. Hunter said he's going to book himself in a match with Axel tonight, and once he'd got through kicking his ass, he's going to kick Heyman's.
Match 3: Big E Langston (w/AJ Lee) defeated Alberto Del Rio (w/Ricardo) with the Big Ending, after Langston raked Del Rio in the eyes while the referee was distracted by Ricardo's tin pot AJ Lee had rolled into the ring.
They re-aired highlights of the opening segment.
Match 4: AJ Lee beat Laya with the Black Widow. Commentators seemed to talk about everything but the match. The Bellas were shown watching on a TV backstage.
Match 5: Cody Rhodes pinned continual no-hoper Zack Ryder off the Disaster Kick. Neither man got an entrance.
After the match, Ryback made his way down to the ring and laid waste to Ryder with a Clothesline, Powerbomb and Shellshocked. Ryback then chucked Ryder to the floor, picked him up and carried him to the ambulance beside the stage. After chucking him in the back, the meat wagon reversed back out of the arena.
The Shield made their way through the crowd and took the microphone. They said that last night they took power back to the titles. They claimed they were the reason The Rock lost at WrestleMania, that Undertaker was now resting in peace, and why Ryback felt so alone and helpless that he finally snapped. He said all the fan's heroes had gone down at the hands of The Shield's justice. Rollins claimed we can now all see what a cohesive unit looks like, and said the scary part was that this was just the beginning, and that they run the yard.
Match 6: In another great WWE six man tag, The Shield defeated Kofi Kingston and Team Hell No when Reigns Speared Kane for the pin.
Triple H was shown taping up backstage when "Larry" the trainer walked in. He told HHH that the doctor doesn't think he's able to compete. Triple H asked whether the Doc likes having a job in WWE, and if he doesn't like Hunter's decision he can find a job elsewhere. A public sign of how the inner workings of WWE work, there...
Natalya was backstage with Kaityln, who had received another text when Rhodes walked past on his phone. Natalya hugged him and Kaitlyn nabbed the phone. Cody Rhodes was posting pictures of himself on the internet, much to the derision of the two girls. Wonder if this was a rib on Matt Striker, who posted photos of his 3 inch cock on the internet...
They announced 150,000 votes have been cast on the App service.
Jerry Lawler announced to the Live crowd that Randy Orton had received 72% of the vote to face Swagger.
Match 7: Randy Orton pinned Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Colter) with the RKO.
Re-aired highlights of Ryback from the top of the show.
Fiddly Diddly Coombs promoted bullying. Or the opposite of it.
Main Event: Triple H and Curtis Axel ended in a No Contest when Triple H, appearing blown up and disorientated, collapsed at ringside. As medical personnel checked on him, Lawler questioned whether Triple H was having a stroke. Possibly a concussion angle.
- Joined in 2008
- Location: Botswana
WWE RAW Results 27th May 2013 wrote:
Location: Calgary, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, John "Bradshaw" Layfield and Jerry Lawler
Memorial Day RAW got under way with a video package thanking the troops.
WWE Champion John Cena came out and, rather than accept Ryback's challenge for an Ambulance match at WWE Payback next month, decided to tweak the stipulation. For only the 4th time in WWE history, Cena said he wants Ryback in a 3 Stages of Hell match. 1st fall a Lumberjack match, 2nd a Tables match and finally an Ambulance match. Cena said once he'd beaten him in 2 straight falls, he'd pick up Ryback and chuck him in the back of the ambulance anyway. Ryback interrupted with a big smile on his face. He said he agreed with Cena that payback should be definitive and should be hell. Some of the crowd started chanting "Goldberg". Ryback claimed that's what he tried to do to him at Extreme Rules when he put him through the LED board. Crowd began giving him the "What" treatment. Ryback said he tried to take Cena to hell, and compared himself to Lucifer and Satan. As Ryback left, Paul Heyman came out. He said while Cena's saying hello to everyone, he'd like him to say hello to a future WWE Champion, and a person who defeated HHH so decisively we won't be seeing Triple H around any more. Curtis Axel came out sporting new music (yes, already). He said both he and Heyman were watching backstage. They said as Cena was a fighting champion, he wouldn't back down from their challenge tonight: John Cena vs. Curtis Axel. Cena said Curtis shouldn't listen to a word Heyman says as he's full of more crap than a stable after a stampede. Curtis told Cena that they didn't ask for he's opinion, they asked whether he was looking for a fight. Cena said Curtis showed guts and moments of greatness, but he's already talking like he's the big dog in the yard. Cena asked how about we find out just how good Curtis really is, and accepted the challenge for later tonight.
Alberto Del Rio was shown walking backstage with Ricardo towards the ring.
Match 1: Alberto Del Rio (w/Ricardo) defeated Big E Langston (w/AJ Lee) with a roll-up after sending Langston into an exposed turnbuckle, which had been undone by AJ Lee earlier in the match.
Afterwards, AJ Lee and Big E had words in the ring, with AJ Lee shouting that she was trying to help.
During the match, Jerry Lawler said that he was suffering from AJHD. That is whenever he sees AJ Lee in HD he can't focus on anything else.
It was announced The Shield would defend the belts against Team Hell No tonight.
Kane and Daniel Bryan were arguing backstage again about Daniel Bryan's obsession with not being the weak link when Bret Hart walked in. He said they were better than this and they both needed to get their act together. Kane asked why when he says the same thing to Bryan he doesn't listen, yet when Hart says it Bryan suddenly pays attention. Bryan responded by saying 'that's Bret Hart, the best there is, was, and ever will be'. Whereas 'Kane is just...Kane'.
They announced Bret Hart Appreciation Night, hosted by Jerry Lawler, will take place exclusively on the WWE App after the conclusion of RAW. Because 3+ hours on Monday, and a further 3 throughout the week, just aren't enough.
Match 2: Dean Ambrose defeated Kofi Kingston with his finishing manoeuvre to retain the United States Championship.
During the match on the WWE App, Sheamus and Randy Orton were shown having stilted conversation while watching on backstage.
As The Shield were celebrating Ambrose's victory in the ring, Kane's pyro went off on the stage and Team Hell No ran down and got into it with The Shield, sending them retreating to the outside.
Match 3: WWE Tag Team Champions The Shield retained against Team Hell No when Seth Rollins nailed Kane with a flying knee off the top rope for the pin.
During the match some of the crowd chanted "JBL", "Michael Cole", and "This is awesome!".
They recapped the opening segment with John Cena.
The commentators said that according to WWE doctors, Triple H was suffering from the effects of the sledgehammer blow to the head, and wasn't supposed to compete last Monday but went against doctors orders. He was advised not to travel to RAW tonight, but that he had suffered no further damages. It was announced that all that was needed was rest, and all being well he should be cleared by the middle of the week, therefore could be at RAW next Monday.
The Miz came out to the ring. They said fans could vote now on the WWE App to decide if they wanted Miz to be Guest Ring Announcer, Guest Referee, or Guest Commentator in the next match. Jerry Lawler voted for guest commentator.
Back from break, Jerry Lawler revealed to the crowd that 85% of fans had voted for Guest Referee.
Wade Barrett and Big E Langston vs. The Miz and Del Rio for WWE Main Event Wednesday.
Match 4: Fandango (w/Summer Rae) defeated Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett in a non-title match when Miz nailed Barrett with the Skull Crushing Finale after Wade Barrett threw Miz down, having accidentally got in the way. After the match as Fandango was dancing with Summer, Miz kicked him in the head, resulting in Summer Rae falling on top of him. Miz then symbolically counted to 3.
A very beardy Shawn Michaels was backstage with John Cena. Michaels asked if he was sure he wanted to do this. Shawn said he's the voice of reason but nobody ever listens.
3MB were shown attempting to get a piece of Natayla's pink cake backstage. It ended up in Hornswoggle's face.
Match 5: Sweet T, Brodus Clay and Khali (w/Natalya, Hornswoggle and The Funkadactyls) defeated 3MB when Brodus pinned Heath off a big splash.
Jerry Lawler said he used to be in a band called The Hinges. They supported The Doors.
After the match, Khali sang Happy Birthday to Natayla. Everyone then danced.
Paul Heyman was shown backstage making his way towards the ring.
John Cena voiced a Memorial Day video package.
Chris Jericho, flashing jacket and all, came out for the Highlight Reel with Paul Heyman. The set is now simply a black carpet with a TV on a stand. Sparing no expense. Jericho called Heyman the most disingenuous and bulbous superstar in WWE history. Heyman came out. Jericho said Heyman's been called a lot of things in his time, from a genius to a walrus, however he deserves credit for aligning himself with tremendous talent. Heymen responded by saying he discovers and develops great talent, such as Chris Jericho. He claimed he gave Jericho his first big break. Jericho replied by saying while that's true, Heyman also still owes him money. Heyman said that's why he's waived his fee for tonight. He said he discovers new talent, just like he's done with Curtis Axel. Jericho said he has great potential, but he doesn't want to talk about him, rather he wants to talk about Heyman's other client. Heyman got into bigging up Lesnar before Jericho told him to shut up, as Jericho wasn't talking about him either. Rather he wanted to know about CM Punk. They re-aired Punk's comments from last month's RAW.
Jericho said what he noticed, apart from Heyman wearing the exact same suit, was Heyman's shocked face. Heyman responded by saying he was glad he brought that up. Heyman said it's his favourite suit, which is why he's wearing it tonight. Crowd chanted "Walrus". Heyman reeled off Punk's accolades. He didnt have to come out and say stupid things like "best there is, best there was and best there ever will be". That annoyed the crowd. Jericho turned into Mr Blobby and cut Paul off with "Blah, blah, blah, blah". Jericho asked Heyman again where Punk was. Heyman said he would have an announcement in the coming weeks about Punk's return. Jericho was having none of it, saying Punk couldn't sit at home and still lay claim to being the best in the world. Heyman said Punk's watching right now. Jericho noted the next PPV is in Chicago, so if Punk wants to retain the title best in the world, how about Punk face him at Payback. Heyman said Jericho can't dictate to either of them. If Punk's going to stay at home, Jericho said, he's therefore going to proclaim himself as the best in the world at what he does. Heyman, now having being goaded into it, said if he wants a match with Punk at Payback then, on behalf of Punk, he accepts.
They congratulated The Rock for being Number 1 at the Box Office.
Match 6: The Bella Whores defeated Natalya and Kailtyn when Kaitlyn accidentally Speared Natalya, allowing the Bella without the boob job to pick up the pin. Kaiyln's breasts looked GREAT.
Curtis Axel was preparing backstage when Bret Hart walked in. Bret Hart said Axel should get rid of "that bum Paul Heyman". Axel said just because he knew his dad doesn't mean he knows him. Curtis told Bret to enjoy his Appreciation Night, as he was going to enjoy beating John Cena instead.
A bizarre vignette aired for Bray Wyatt and what I presume to be his relatives, possibly lifted from NXT.
Match 7: The Celtic Vipers (Randy Orton and Sheamus) beat Team Rhodes Scholars when Sheamus fed Sandow too many limes. That or a Brogue Kick.
During the match, Heyman was shown giving Curtis Axel a pep talk on the WWE App.
Dean Ambrose vs. Randy Orton booked for SmackDown. Not that announcing something on TV means anything these days...
Main Event: Curtis Axel defeated WWE Champion John Cena in a non-title match via Count Out. An Ambulance sped into the arena and John Cena immediately left the ring to investigate. Ryback nailed him from behind, and was about to Spear Cena through the LED panel again, but Cena reversed and was about to hit the AA when Ryback muscled out and pushed Cena off the stage, before quickly making his escape backstage. As Curtis Axel and Paul Heyman celebrated in the ring, Cena begrudgingly clapped the victory.
During the match, there was some sort of altercation or disturbance in the crowd that resulted in everyone being distracted for ages. Security appeared to be manhandling someone in the top left of the screen.
- Joined in 2008
- Location: Botswana
WWE RAW 3rd June 2013 wrote:
Location: XL Center, Hartford, CT
Commentators: Michael Cole, John "Bradshaw" Layfield and Jerry Lawler
They announced Triple H would face Curtis Axel in a rematch later tonight.
Monday Night RAW opened with Stephanie McMahon making her way to the ring. Stephanie said it was great to be back on RAW, but just wished it was under better circumstances.
No this isn't an accidental screen grab from an episode of RAW in 2001...
She said despite doctors clearing Triple H to wrestle, she was making an executive decision and cancelling the match. Crowd booed. Steph claimed she was making the decision as an executive, wife, and mother. She said Triple H wasn't going to risk his health against Curtis Axel, who she deemed to be "beneath him". She then asked the crowd not to be selfish, which went down as well as you'd expect. "No Chance In Hell" then hit and Vince made his way out. Vince asked if the crowd were happy to see him. They cheered. Vince said he had a request, and that was for the crowd not to boo his daughter. Vince said both of them cared more about Triple H than the fans did. Crowd broke out into a loud "Triple H" chant. Vince and Stephanie were about to leave when Vince remembered something. He told the crowd that WWE is "family entertainment, not a blood sport". He asked the crowd if they wanted Triple H's heart, liver, lungs and various other parts of his body. Vince then lambasted the crowd about their reaction Friday night to Ryback putting Kofi Kingston through 3 tables. He said the crowd chanted "one more time" each time Kofi was put through a table, but there wouldn't be "one more time" for Triple H. Not now, or ever. Vince reiterated Stephanie's remarks that Curtis Axel - along with the crowd - are beneath Triple H. The Shield interrupted and made their way through the crowd, JBL imploring both the McMahon's to leave the ring, as RAW crashed to commercial.
Back from break, The Shield were in the ring, the McMahon's having left "without incident" on the WWE App.
They re-aired the conclusion to the six man tag team match from SmackDown.
Match 1: In front of a very hot crowd, The Shield defeated Randy Orton and Team Hell No in another excellent 6 man tag when Randy Orton, who was going for an RKO on Roman Reigns, was pushed off and bonked into Bryan, allowing Ambrose to nail Bryan with his finisher for the pin.
They announced Alberto Del Rio will face Big E Langston later tonight.
They also announced a CM Punk and Chris Jericho Contract Signing for Payback later.
Kane, Randy Orton, and Bryan were arguing backstage. Randy apologised for what happened in their match. Bryan said that it was his fault that they lost. Bryan said neither of them respected him. Kane said Bryan's lost touch with reality. Bryan responded by saying the reality was they think he's the weak link, and as neither of them respect him, he was going to find another way to show it to them tonight. He was going to have another match and beat someone else. Bryan then stormed off.
Triple H was shown arriving at the building and walking with his bag backstage, before asking a stage-hand where Vince's office was. In his office, Triple H told Vince he was wrestling Curtis Axel tonight. Vince said no he wasn't. Triple H said who was going to stop him. Vince asked Triple H not to do something he would regret, before leaving, as Stephanie McMahon closed the door on the cameras.
Match 2: The Uso's defeated The Prime Time Players with a Splash off the top rope onto Darren Young.
They showed some people and athletes that'll be competing in the 2014 Special Olympics in the front row.
Ricardo introduced Alberto Del Rio.
Match 3: Alberto Del Rio (w/Ricardo) beat Big E Langston (w/AJ Lee) with roll up combination off the Arm Breaker.
WWE REWIND: Sheamus and Damien Sandow from SmackDown playing 3 cups 1 ball.
Match 4: Sheamus pinned Cody Rhodes off a Brogue Kick.
Damien Sandow on commentary promoted Meredith Whitney (JBL's wife) new book.
After the match, Sheamus went over to Damien Sandow at the announce table. When Damien Sandow refused to shake his hand, Sheamus punched him in the face.
Triple H was shown storming into the parking bay with Stephanie. Triple H threw his luggage into the boot of a limo and said he wasn't leaving because Vince asked him to, but rather so he didn't end up kicking Vince's arse on worldwide TV. He asked Stephanie to go tell that "crazy old bastard" he'd be in the ring at the start of RAW next week to wrestle Curtis Axel. Triple H then got in the limo and drove off, leaving Stephanie standing there.
They re-aired Ryback destroying Kofi Kingston on SmackDown.
Bryan was shown kicking over stuff backstage when he walked into Ryback, who called Bryan "a little puke". Bryan asked if he was going to do to him what he did to Kofi on SmackDown. Ryback said that because of him Kofi had surgery on Thursday. Ryback said when he had the flu his sick was bigger than Bryan. Bryan responded by saying he wasn't afraid of him, which led to Ryback saying Bryan must have lost his mind. Ryback asked why Bryan doesn't face him later tonight, so not only would Bryan be the weak link, he'd be the missing link too.
Heyman was with Curtis Axel in McMahon's locker room. Vince told Curtis that he has 'a hell of a future ahead of him'. Paul Heyman extended his hand to shake Vince's hand but Vince completely blanked him. Vince said he would have loved to see the match with Triple H tonight, but we're not going to. We're not going to see the match next week either. Heyman thanked Vince for the opportunity and said they'd see him Friday on SmackDown. Vince said Axel's going to be in action tonight against John Cena in a No Disqualification match up. Vince wished Curtis luck.
Randy Orton and Team Hell No was announced as guests for MizTV Friday night.
They re-aired Fandango beating up Khali at the conclusion of their Dance-Off a few weeks back.
Match 5: Great Khali (w/Natalya and Hornswoggle) defeated Fandango (w/Summer Rae) via Count-Out when Fandango simply walked out.
Jerry Lawler noted Khali has a chin so massive he must get fan mail from Jay Leno. Michael Cole found this hilarious.
As Fandango was heading up the ramp, Miz came out on the stage in an attempt to get Fandango to head back to the ring but Wade Barratt snuck up behind Miz and, upon turning around, was nailed with the Bull Hammer Elbow.
Match 6: The Miz submitted Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett with the Figure Four in a non-title bout. Fandango came out on the stage with Summer Rae and started dancing, distracting Barrett.
Jerry Lawler was in the ring for the Contract Signing between CM Punk and Chris Jericho. Lawler introduced Y2J first, followed by Punk's representative Paul Heyman. Lawler said they've both looked at the contract already, and all they needed to do was sign it. Paul said they could have just signed this in private backstage. As Paul was about to head into another long monologue bigging up Punk, Jericho interrupted and mockingly reeled off Punk's accolade's instead. Heyman signed the contract. He said before Jericho did so was he sure he was ready for Payback. He said while tonight he was in "a building filled with Jericho-Horlicks", that wouldn't be the case in Chicago.
Jericho said Heyman might be right. Maybe they should have the match at Summerslam in LA instead. Heyman refused. Jericho then asked how about MSG in New York. Heyman responded by saying while that was tempting, it was still no. Jericho said what about tonight in Hartford Connecticut? Crowd popped big for that and chanted "Yes!". Heyman said "No" once more. Crowd deflated. Jericho sarcastically said "Guess we'll just to have it in Chicago" and signed the contract. "When you act like a jackass like Punk, you get treated like a jackass". Jericho asked they're now going to have to figure out where to file the contract; at Heyman's lawyers office, Jericho or WWE headquarters. Jericho said he had a good idea where the contract should be filed. Jericho told Heyman to stand up and unbutton his jacket. Y2J rolled up the contract and shoved it down the front of Heyman's trousers, before telling Heyman he'd see them in Chicago.
Sheamus Antonio vs. Antonio Cesaro announced for Main Event Wednesday. Running joke this is.
Match 7: Funkadactyls and WWE Divas' Champion Kaitlyn beat The Bellas and AJ Lee when Kaitlyn pinned a Bella off a Spear. AJ Lee refused a tag and skipped off, effectively costing them the match.
Hollywood Undead Another Way Out is the official soundtrack of Payback.
Bryan was in his locker room. Kane said this was a mistake fighting Ryback. Kane said in all the years he's been in the WWE he's never seen anyone with the will to fight like Bryan. He has nothing to prove to anyone. Bryan said he was wrong, and he always has something to prove. He said he was going to prove it without Kane. Bryan asked Kane if he understood. Kane said he did loud and clear, and that he was leaving. Kane told Bryan to call him when he's found his mind, because it's obvious he's lost it.
They showed another vignette for the Wyatt Family.
Sirens filled the arena for Ryback's entrance from the back of the ambulance. Thought Scott Steiner was coming out...
Match 8: Daniel Bryan defeated Ryback via Disqualification in a hell of a match when Ryback Powerbombed Bryan through a table.
Before Ryback could put Bryan through another table on the outside, John Cena ran down to make the save. Ryback and Cena stared each other down, before Curtis Axel's music hit and he made his way out with Paul Heyman. A WWE Trainer checked on Bryan in the ring as we headed to break.
Chris Jericho vs. Curtis Axel was announced for SmackDown.
Main Event: In a No Disqualification match, Curtis Axel (w/Paul Heyman) defeated John Cena via Count-Out when Ryback interfered and ran Cena through a table set up against the barricades on the outside. Ryback screamed "At Payback, Ryback Rules" at a fallen Cena to take RAW off the air.
- Joined in 2008
- Location: Botswana
PostRe: The WWE RAW Report: E3 Special 10th June 2013
by KK » Mon Jun 23, 2014 2:08 pm
WWE RAW "E3 Special" Results 10th June 2013 wrote:
Location: My living room
Attendance: Not sure. I counted about twenty before I got distracted by
Commentators: Michael Cole, John "Bradshaw" Layfield and Jerry Lawler
Hour One: Match One: Triple H vs Curtis Axel. Axel entered to very little reaction, possibly due to his music changing again. Did it? I'm not sure, probably. Match was about thirty seconds long with Triple H on top when Vince's music hit and he made his way to ringside. Vince spoke to the bell-man and Justin Roberts. The bell rang and Curtis Axel was announced the winner by disqualification, which added a new finisher to Curtis's repertoire to go with the deadly Count Out. Triple H seethed and hopped out the ring, ordering Justin Roberts to restart the match. Triple H beat up on his opponent for a few seconds before Vince came back out and ordered Axel the winner by forfeit. Triple H rolled out of the ring and ordered the match be changed "by the COO of the WWE" to a 60 minute Iron Man Match. Vince returned to ringside, told Curtis he could go as he'd already won twice then stole the microphone and ring bell before leaving.
I didn't make any of that up, honest.
Ryback and Cena will be face to face later tonight on Raw. Not sure how that's any different from every other week for the past two months, but we'll have to see. They mentioned they'll hear from Kaitlyns secret admirer and then said Kane vs Dean Ambrose is up next.
Back from the break and Triple H was maaaad at Vince. Steph was almost crying, begging him not to hurt her dad. Triple H was still mad, but she controls the boob supply in his life so he asked her to go talk to Vince instead, then threw a towel to show his anger. Grr.
Match Two: Kane vs Dean Ambrose. Kane entered first while they played a recap of him and Daniel Bryan Danielson shouting at each other from Smackdown. Dean entered with the other members of the Shield, who stopped partway down the steps and retreated, possibly to go watch the match on tv, while eating some grapes. Green ones, maybe seedless, I'd imagine.
Still no bell so they just started wrestling. It was fun as Kane threw Dean about a bit and generally beat him up. It's Kane vs Dean Ambrose, you've probably already seen it a couple of times. A referee ran down with the ring bell. First mention of the WWE app after the break during this, where you can watch Randy Orton watch the match you're not watching. Rollins and Reigns ran in for the DQ as Kane was readying himself for the chokeslam, but Randall Keith Orton (Hey, that spells RKO!) and Daniel Bryan Danielson made the save to run off the dastardly hounds of justice.
Second mention of the WWE App, vote for Daniel Bryan Danielson's opponent tonight, either Roman Reigns or Seth Rollins. Randy Orton will face the remaining dude, who will no doubt feel as unloved as an AWOL order from the military or a turd in a divas bag.
Seth Rollins won the vote, to the delight of Ring of Honor fangirls (And some boys) all over the world. Kane, Randall and DBD were arguing backstage about arguing and hitting each other last week on Smackdown. Kane was attempting to mediate when BRAD MADDOX and Vickie sidled into shot. Vickie announced that this Sunday at Payback (I know, someone remembered there was a PPV Sunday!) it'll be Randy Orton and Bryan Danielson Bryan versus The Shield for the Tag Team titles. @LanceStorm christened this team RK-NO, which is just one of the best things ever. Kane was most displeased and shouted "What?" in a voice that was quite unbefitting for a monster and quite funny for me. Vickie then announced Kane would face Dean Ambrose at the PPV for the US title, so he Kane was a happy man and hugged Vickie tight. "The Miz" entered. He's a cock.
Match Three: Wade Barrett joined the gang on commentary as Cody Rhodes got the jobber entrance to face "The Miz." No-one cares about this match. "The Miz" is such a dullard. Why should I cheer for him? He has stupid hair. All of these are thoughts I'd guess the crowd who were sitting on their hands thought as "The Miz" slapped on the figure-four to win the match. Wade was quickly out of his seat to try and attack "The Miz" but was interrupted by Paul Heyman. Heyman announced that just because Fandango was injured didn't mean it wasn't going to be a triple threat match, as his place was going to be taken by Curtis Axel. His protege came out and said something forgettable that ended with the word "perfect" then left.
Mark Henry promo video played, of him generally splitting wigs and kicking asses. That's what he does. He's returning next Monday. Ad break, the more recaps of the Triple H/Vince/Steph stuff earlier for a few minutes. Because nothing makes people tune in early than the knowledge they don't need to tune in early because you'll recap it all anyway.
Hour Two: Stephanie was in Vinces office, talking to the back of his head as he refused to turn around. He did after she mentioned how proud they both were. Vince was wearing a special tie here, it really was something. Steph said Vince crushed "Paul" out there (FOURTH WALL) Vince said he was doing what was best for business, business comes first.
BREAK THE WALLS DOWN.
Don't really, it's probably structurally unsafe to do so. It's just lyrics from Chris Jericho's theme who's making his way to the ring. Jericho got a microphone and built up his upcoming match against CM Punk. He talked about how they both believed they were the best and how they had in common how they worked their way up. Good stuff. Dolph f'n Ziggler interrupted!
Dolph (With AJ and Big E in tow) talked about how'd not long got the World title before it was nearly taken from him due to a concussion. He stated that he felt nobody wanted him to have the belt so he came out and stole the show every night, and that he was going to outclass and outperform Alberto Del Rio this Sunday. Jericho challenged Dolph to a match tonight, Dolph accepted and then said Jericho would be facing Big E instead of him. Ad break.
Match Four: Chris Jericho vs Big E Langston. We came back from the adverts to find the match underway with Big E in charge. Crowd was behind Jericho the whole way with vocal support. Big E got chucked to the outside then kicked, Jericho got thrown into the steps, the WWE App was advertised again and I died a little inside. Jericho got distracted by Ziggler on the apron and got squashed by Big E when he turned around. Big E pulled down his straps to signal for the Big Ending, when a Wild Alberto Del Rio appeared and threw Ziggler towards the ring. Due to this distraction Big E turned his attention to the number one contender, allowing Jericho to roll him up for the win.
Match Five: Zeb Coulter on commentary for Sin Cara vs Antonio Cesaro, who is now German apparently. Zeb unsurprisingly hates the Mexican more, accusing him of sneaking over the border with his face covered, while at least Cesaro came to the US legally with his head held high. Cesaro no longer wears any sort of strapping or knee pads, it's a weird look. This match wasn't good until Sin Cara got off a bit of offense, ascending to the top rope and jumped off, only for Cesaro to catch him into a wonderful twisting backbreaker. Cesaro then picked him up, slapped a headlock on and swung him around without letting go of the headlock. It was awesome and has probably been giffed at least three hundred times by the time most of you read this. Cesaro hit Sin Cara with the Neutraliser and won...the match..on Raw?!?
Vince, BRAD MADDOX and Vickie were talking backstage. Thanks to Skys shoddy timing, I missed the start of this but figured out they were talking about Cena and Rybacks face to face thing. BRAD MADDOX suggested having the lumberjacks there to stop them killing each other before the PPV and that was that.
Match Six: Randy Orton came to the ring, shortly followed by Daniel Bryan Danielson. Roman Reigns w/Seth Rollin Rollin Rollin Rollin uh, entered with Ambrose appearing with them at the top of the steps before returning to the dressing room. This was an okay little brawl, but not that interesting. Orton did his spots, etc. Rollins attacked D-Bry on the outside, then ran in to attack Orton. Orton threw Rollins out to join Reigns who had bailed to the outside. Daniel Bryan Danielson dived through the ropes to take out both members of the Shield before shouting Yes as the crowd joined in. Match was ruled a No Contest.
Hour Three: Match Seven: Daniel Bryan vs Seth Rollins followed on straight from the previous match. I think you should go watch this, it was fun. If not, feel free to read on. Everybody in this crowd loved Daniel Bryan, or at least loved chanting YES everytime he punched, kicked or generally did damage to Rollins. One particular highlight was Rollins getting knocked outside and getting hit with Bryan's running knee off the apron, which he sold like he'd been hit with a strawberry floating hammer. D-Bry hooked up Seth in a surfboard dragon sleeper at one point, which looked ridiculous in the best way. D-Bry went for a dive through the ropes and I'm pretty sure Seth just punched him in the face. Daniel Bryan hit a rolling German suplex then seemingly kicked Seth in the head as hard as he could. Seriously, why are you reading these spoilers? You could be watching this match. D-Bry won when he rolled up Seth following a missed splash for the three count, then YES'd along with the crowd. Orton hit an RKO on Seth after the match, he and Daniel Bryan stared each other down for a little bit before they left.
Re-cap of the shows earlier Triple H/Vince/Stephanie stuff. It's 2013. Yeah. Kaitlyn was shown backstage getting ready to meet her secret admirer. Following the break she was in the ring waiting and asked for her secret admirer to show themself. IT WAS BIG E AUSTIN! IT WAS BIG E ALL ALONG! Out came Big E with a bunch of flowers for Kaitlyn. D'aww. Big E presented her with the bunch and asked for the microphone. Big E stated that he was more than just Dolph's heavy and how he was crazy about Kaitlyn. I'm not sure which one of these two has the bigger chest. They pulled together close and teased a kiss, Big E flung her back, then dropped her to the mat. AJ's music played. Boo, hiss! When did romance become so difficult in the wrestling world?
AJ says she was abandoned by Kaitlyn and talked about how she was hurt over the past year by men. Says the likes of D-Bryan, Cena and Punk used her, hurt her and shattered her into glass, but even shattered glass can cut pretty deep. Kaitlyn called her crazy, AJ denied this, said she was smart and laughed it up talking about how Kaitlyn was all alone and nobody cares about her. AJ talked about their match Sunday and said Kaitlyn's gonna go running back to whatever trailer park she came from when she loses. Kaitlyn snapped and attempted beat the piss out of AJ, who bailed and skipped away. Good segment.
Match Eight: Damien Sandow cut a promo as he entered, ragging on Sheamus saying he'd clearly beaten him with his intellect last week and would beat him physically this Sunday. R-Truth came out to face him and I don't think you need to be the intellectual saviour of the masses to figure out who won this one. (Sandow did. It was short.) Sheamus came out and congratulated Sandow for winning, but promised he'd kick his head off this Sunday.
Stephanie was shown backstage sending one guy to tell Vince to meet him in her office and one to tell Triple H to meet her there. Ad break. Lumberjacks entered the arena and began surrounding the ring. Ad break. Back from the break to the office where Steph is there with Triple H and Vince arguing. She storms out and tells them to work it out. They shout some more, Vince puts over Triple H saying he's above a match with Curtis Axel ( ) and that he wants him to be a legend, saying he wants him to be the guy behind the desk. Vince then says he's got the match with Curtis Axel. Triple H says he doesn't want the match so they start arguing again. Stephanie comes back and makes them all hug. I'm starting to question how much of this I'm actually seeing or just making up at this point.
Cena comes out, weeks old yellow shirt, eight year old routine. SCOTT STEINER IS IN THE HOU-Oh it's just Rybacks ambulance. Ryback stands at the top of the ramp while Cena talks. Cena says he needs to come down to the ring otherwise this isn't a face to face. Ryback tries to talk but gets interrupted. Cena says Ryback doesn't deserve to be champ. Ryback says he should've been three times over. Cena starts shouting. He's still shouting. Please, won't he stop shouting? Cena shouts over a guy and calls him names. Cheer! Ryback makes reasoned points. Boo! Cena says this Sunday Paybacks a bitch! He attempts to roll out of the ring but is thrown back in several times by the lumberjacks. Ryback comes down to the ring and gets thrown in. They attempt to brawl but the lumberjacks stop them. I don't know what the lumberjacks were trying to do here. Both men are trapped in the corners by the other wrestlers as Raw goes off the air.
- Joined in 2008
- Location: Botswana
WWE RAW Results June 17th 2013 wrote:
Location: Van Andel Arena; Grand Rapids, Michigan
Commentators: Michael Cole, John "Bradshaw" Layfield and Jerry Lawler
Less than 24 hours removed from WWE Payback, RAW opened with Ricardo announcing new World Heavyweight Champion Alberto Del Rio. Crowd started booing Ricardo and then Del Rio as soon as they came out on stage. Alberto Del Rio asked the crowd how their weekend was, and asked why they were talking about the Man of Steel movie when the real Superman was right here. Del Rio said some people thought his win last night was controversial, yet when Ziggler cashed in the night after WrestleMania when he was injured they all cheered. Del Rio continued that he 'always gave everything but was never shown any respect'. Del Rio accused the fans of disrespecting Mexicans, who would rather chant "USA, USA" along with a pig like Jack Swagger and Colter. "I guess that's what America is all about: pigs and cowards". Del Rio said however he would give the fans one more chance to show him some respect. Crowd booed. CM Punk's music then hit and he made his way out along with Paul Heyman. Punk said he wasn't out here because he was berating the crowd, rather that he said he was "the best". Crowd broke out into a "CM Punk" chant. Punks said there is only one best in the world, and the reason he was out was to challenge him. Paul Heyman intervened and said his clients don't fight for free. Punk asked Heyman what he was doing. Heyman said he's banged up from last night and the title wouldn't even be on the line. Punk said he knows he's banged up and knows Ziggler deserves a title rematch, but he was stealing the show at Payback with Chris Jericho. Punk said how about he prove once again he's the best in the world and do it tonight against Alberto Del Rio. Vickie Guerrero, accompanied by Brad Maddox, interrupted. She said she'd like to continue the momentum from last night's PPV so was therefore making CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio in a non-title match official for tonight's RAW main event.
They showed a graphic on the screen saying Vickie Guerrero would have a big surprise for the McMahon family and the rest of the WWE Universe later tonight.
Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan was announced for later.
Wade Barrett was shown heading towards the ring for a Intercontinental Championship rematch against Curtis Axel.
Paul Heyman was backstage with CM Punk apologising for jumping the gun earlier. CM Punk said he doesn't need Heyman's help to win matches, and that he almost cost him the match against Chris Jericho at Payback. He said he isn't his client and didn't want him at ringside any longer for his matches. Punk said however he'd always be a "Paul Heyman guy" before walking off.
Vickie Guerrero, once again flanked by Brad Maddox, came out and said Barrett's title rematch would have to wait, as he would have to face someone else instead: Christian.
Match 1: Christian defeated Wade Barrett (who didn't receive an entrance) with the Kill Switch.
Michael Cole said that Vickie Guerrero had decided to allow fans on the WWE App to vote on whether tonight's match between Daniel Bryan and Randy Orton would be No Disqualification, No Count Out, or 2 out of 3 falls.
A Wyatt Family vignette aired.
Match 2: Team Rhodes Scholars (who didn't receive an entrance) defeated Sheamus in a 2-on-1 Handicap match, not fought under tag rules, when Sandow rolled up Sheamus. After the match, Sheamus Brogue Kicked Cody Rhodes while Sandow was celebrating in the aisle.
They showed a graphic on-screen posing the question on whether Mark Henry would announce his retirement later.
A video package aired promoting the return of oVeRrateD at Money in the Bank next month.
Vickie and Brad Maddox were in their office with Triple H. Vickie said she wanted to do something to make Triple H proud. Hunter said her choice of main event tonight was "genius", and it was great to see Vickie thinking on her toes. He then asked had Punk not come out what the main event would have been. Vickie quickly moved on to the return of Christian. Triple H asked why it took them so long to bring him back when he's been cleared for a month and half. Vickie again quickly moved on to RVD. As Vickie and Brad went back and forth as to who had come up with the idea to resign him, Triple H said he didn't remember either of them on the phone. Triple H then said that Vickie needed to get The shield under control as they've been running roughshod through WWE. Hunter said if they get involved in any matches tonight that they need to be made an example of. Triple then said putting 3MB on the show was also a stroke of genius. Brad thanked him as Hunter left, before Vickie told Brad he was being sarcastic...
Bryan was warming up backstage when Kane walked in. Kane asked whether they could talk. Bryan said he was busy, and if he was only going to say 'told you so' then he wasn't interested. Kane said he wasn't glad of anything, and said that perhaps the fact they both lost at Payback was a sign that they should both give it another shot as a team. Bryan said he would never be able to prove himself, and that the only Team was Team DB. Kane said Bryan was "acting like a DB". Bryan said he needs to win the WWE Champ. Kane said he was thinking same thing in regards to himself too. Kane pondered whether they were now done and whether this was it for them as a team. Kane wished Bryan luck, which only led to Bryan asking whether he was only wishing him luck because he thinks he's the weak link. Kane stormed off...
Voting for Bryan vs. Orton opened.
They showed an interview with Randy Orton from the WWE App. He said it was down to Bryan that they lost at Payback, and Bryan was the weak link, and he was going to prove it tonight.
Jerry Lawler entered the ring and revealed the WWE App voting had decided the stipulation for Bryan and Orton would be No DQ, with 54% of the vote.
Match 3: Randy Orton defeated Daniel Bryan via stoppage when the WWE Doctor called the match off due to Bryan suffering some sort of injury. This appeared to be legit, as at one point Orton was heard asking the referee "what the strawberry float is going on?", as WWE desperately attempted to mute the audio. Randy Orton checked if he was okay and along with the trainer helped Bryan to the back.
They recapped the opening segment.
They aired Kaitlyn crying from last night after losing the WWE Divas' title.
AJ Lee, accompanied by Big E Langston made their way out. AJ grabbed the microphone and said "So this is what it feels like to have it all". She announced Ziggler wasn't there, much to the crowd's disappointment. AJ said that she's always been the champion, but now just has the proof. She said that she had employed mind games to crush the spirit of Kaitlyn. AJ said she was the hero of this story, and that she's a women that knows exactly how to get what she wants, and that there isn't a woman anywhere as strong, brilliant or courageous as her, and if there was for them to come out right now. Stephanie McMahon's new music hit and she made her way out. Stephanie said there was a whole line of Divas willing to challenge AJ Lee. Stephanie The Feminist then asked why AJ Lee feels the need to perpetuate this stereotype that women need to tear each other down instead of building each other up. Stephanie said the way AJ treated Kaitlyn was degrading to women everywhere. Crowd chanted "We want puppies". Stephanie said AJ needs to act more like a champion. AJ responded by saying that maybe she does need to be thinking and acting more like Stephanie. Perhaps rather than dating superstars, maybe she should marry one instead. Crowd went "Oooooh". AJ then went on about Stephanie having Daddy issues. Mrs McMahon then said she would have expected something more original. She said if AJ wants to give her the crazy eyes, then she needs to remember there's nobody more crazy than the McMahons. Steph said AJ needs to remember that she can take everything away from AJ and could easily fire her. Kaitlyn interrupted on the ramp with the rest of the Divas locker-room. Stephanie walked up the ramp and told Kaitlyn and the rest of the Divas' never to interrupt her again. Kaitlyn said AJ broke her emotionally, before heading into the ring and brawling with AJ. AJ made it to the outside with Big E Langston then carrying AJ to the back.
Match 4: In a rematch for the United States Championship, Kane defeated Dean Ambrose via Disqualification when The Shield ran-in almost immediately and assaulted Kane.
Mark Henry was backstage shaking hands and hugging with Tamina Snuka and some tag team I can't remember the name of. The one with the comb and looks like John Cena. Ah, who strawberry floating cares anyway...
The Shield were walking backstage, before being confronted by Vickie and Brad. The Shield mocked what Vickie was going to do about their actions. Just as Vickie said "You're..." Vince McMahon turned up to congratulate The Shield, saying it reminded him of himself, and that they were showing "Ruthless aggression". Vince said he never liked that Halloween mask wearing freak anyway, said Vickie looked nice, and walked off.
Another vignette for the Wyatt family aired.
Zeb Colter came out and cut a promo about the US government spying on its citizens and foreigners sneaking across the border. To show neither Jack Swagger or himself are prejudicial, they were joining forces with Antonio Cesaro. Cesaro came out and did Swagger's "We the people" line. Michael Cole called them hypocrites.
Match 5: Antonio Cesaro (w/Zeb Colter) pinned William Regal off of the Neutraliser. After the match they draped a yellow "Don't tread on me" yellow flag over Regal.
John Cena was shown heading towards the ring.
Back from break, WWE Champion John Cena came out in what is fast becoming a night of promos...
The commentators said Ryback refused to go to the hospital last night, but had not been medically cleared to compete on RAW. Usual mixed response for Cena. Cena was grinning from ear to ear like a complete loon.
Cena said he "loves this". Crowd booed the INSUFFERABLE BASTARD. Cena said his favourite superstars were the WWE Universe, because they were always honest. He said every time he steps in the ring he goes to war for the group of fans that support him. Cena said he had a horrible 2012, and that he would come out and ask his fans to hang on in there. Cena said sceptics and critics would always be there, but for those that stood by him "thank you". Cena said he could take care of any challenge that is put in front of him. I blame the writers. Cena said at MITB he would know where his next challenge would come from. There would be no opportune time to cash in as he will always be ready. Cena said "our time is now because the champ is here". Mark Henry's music interrupted and he made his way out smiling clutching a pair of boots. He left them on the stage and made his way into the ring. Henry's wearing a pink blazer. He asked Cena to stay and listen to this. Henry, who was crying, said he was retiring. Crowd chanted various "Thank you Henry" and "One more match" at him. He thanked his family, and said they'd be seeing a lot more of him now, whether they wanted to or not. Someone in the crowd shouted out "Mae Young" which Henry acknowledged. As Cena passed the WWE Title to Henry and went to hug him, Mark Henry then picked him up and gave Cena the World Strongest Slam in the SWERVE OF THE DECADE. Mark Henry shouted "You think it's that easy?" at a downed Cena. Henry walked up to the stage, as he turned around and shouted "that's what I do".
Backstage Mark Henry was approached by Renee Young. Henry said he had everyone fooled and we're all a bunch of puppets. He said the WWE Championship is the only title he hasn't held and he's challenging Cena for it right now.
Match 6: Chris Jericho pinned Heath Slater (w/3MB) off the Codebreaker. After the match the other 2 members of 3MB ran in but were immediately dispatched with Codebreakers.
Heyman was telling Axel backstage to pick his moment when Matt Striker interrupted. Heyman said couldn't they see they were both talking. Striker asked if there was any more to Punk and Heyman splitting. Heyman responded by saying that true friends know when to give each other space, and why Striker wasn't asking about the Intercontinental Champion instead.
The Miz was on commentary.
Match 7: Intercontinental Champion Curtis Axel (w/Paul Heyman) defeated Sin Cara in a non-title bout with a DDT. Seriously, this is their third match in the last month. And those stupid lights are back again. The lights that were so epically gooseberry fool in 1997 when Kane débuted they immediately got rid of it.
They announced Daniel Bryan was scheduled to face Dean Ambrose on SmackDown.
Vince McMahon was backstage with Vickie and Brad saying they were both doing a good job. Vince said that Henry sucked him in and had him crying, and what they were going to do about it. Vickie said she was giving Henry his Championship match at Money in the Bank. Stephanie walked in and said the show was out of control and Vickie needed to reassert her authority. Stephanie called the show a "disaster". Triple H then walked in and said he had ordered Vickie to do something about The Shield, before demanding Vickie start listening to him. Triple H left and Vince said not to worry about it, and instead listen to him. When he walked out, Stephanie put her arm around her and said not to listen to either of them two and rather listen to her. Vince McMahon or a stage-hand was then heard off screen wrapping the segment.
Paul Heyman ran over to Punk backstage as he was heading to the ring and said he understood his decision. Heyman said he loved Punk and told him to "go get 'em". They hugged and as Punk walked off Heyman shouted that he was the "best in the world".
Main Event: CM Punk ended in Count Out when Alberto Del Rio (w/Ricardo) simply walked out on the match.
Michael Cole announced on commentary during the match that Daniel Bryan had only suffered a "stinger", and had also been in some form of verbal altercation with Triple H backstage, with footage now on WWE.com.
Dolph Ziggler then appeared and jumped off the stage attacking Ricardo and Del Rio on the floor. Ricardo and Del Rio fled to the back, with Ziggler in hot pursuit.
Meanwhile, with CM Punk still in the ring, Brock Lesnar's music hit and he made his way down to the ring. Lesnar grabbed the microphone, stood in front of Punk, smirked, and then suddenly gave him the F5. Lesnar then laughed and left, leaving Punk out in the ring to take RAW off the air.
- Joined in 2008
- Location: Botswana
WWE RAW Results June 24th 2013 wrote:
Location: North Charleston Coliseum; North Charleston, South Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, John "Bradshaw" Layfield and Jerry Lawler
Monday Night RAW kicked off with Daniel Bryan making his way to the ring. Bryan said that before he starts his match, there have been some people that have accused him of having some sort of "complex"; a walking example of "little man syndrome". He said there were some people asking him whether he was an extra in The Hobbit. To which he replied by saying that he is, in fact, "not an extra in the hobbit". Bryan said that whether he was teaming with Kane or when he was on NXT, some people have accused him of being the weak link. Those people are morons, he claimed, as he's gone toe-to-toe with Orton. Bryan said SmackDown wasn't good enough, and he won't be satisfied until he beats Orton either via pinfall or submission. Bryan then shouted "YES", which brought out Randy Orton. As Bryan said he was glad he came out, Randy grabbed the microphone and told him straight to his face that he should just shut up and fight.
Match 1: Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan ended in a Double Disqualification when Daniel Bryan accidentally knocked the referee down on the outside. As both men continued to brawl on and around the announce table, more referees came down to break them up as we crashed to break.
Vickie and Brad Maddox were talking in their office when Daniel Bryan walked in complaining about his match with Orton ending in a Double Disqualification. He demanded a rematch for later tonight, but Brad said that they already have a very full show, and that he had already had his match. Daniel told them that they either give him a match with Randy or he'll face Brad Maddox instead. Vickie told Bryan he had his match...against Randy Orton. As Vickie cackled away at the look on Brad's face, Vince McMahon walked in. Vince said some people think Bryan has issues and is too small to be a WWE Superstar. Vickie asked Vince what he thought. McMahon told Vickie to figure it out herself.
They announced Sheamus vs. Damien Sandow in a "Dublin Street Fight" for SmackDown Friday.
Match 2: Sheamus and Christian defeated Team Rhodes Scholars when Damien and Cody had a miscommunication when making a tag, leading to Sheamus nailing the Brogue Kick on Cody Rhodes for the pin.
In a rematch from SmackDown, they announced Alberto Del Rio vs. Chris Jericho for later tonight.
CM Punk was backstage on his phone when Vickie walked up to him. Punk asked whether Heyman or Brock Lesnar had arrived at the building yet? Vickie said she hadn't seen either of them. Vickie told Punk she was putting him in a match tonight. Punk ignored her and continued playing on his phone. Vickie responded by shouting "Excuse me", which only led to Punk shouting "EXCUSE ME" back at her even louder. Punk told Vickie to come find him when they both arrive and left.
They recapped Kaityln and Aksana's altercation from SmackDown, which led to other Divas attempting to separate them.
Match 3: Kaitlyn (w/Layla) pinned Aksana off a Spear. During the match AJ Lee came out dressed as Kaitlyn on the ramp in an attempt to distract her, but to no avail. A small section of the crowd chanted "We want puppies" during the match.
AJ Lee, sporting comedy muscle arms, mocked Kaitlyn on the microphone, which led to Big E Langston coming out with flowers and giving them to AJ. Lee, playing Kaitlyn, said she has the voice of a man, legs of a man and an Adam's apple. As Layla held Kaitlyn back in the ring, AJ Lee said Kaitlyn would never again be Divas' champion.
A Wyatt Family Vignette aired.
They re-aired highlights of Mark Henry's swerve retirement from last week.
Ricardo came out and asked how the crowd was doing in a stupid Southern/hick accent.
They announced Dolph Ziggler will get his rematch for the World Title at Money in the Bank against Del Rio.
Match 4: Chris Jericho defeated Alberto Del Rio (w/Ricardo) by Disqualification when Ricardo entered the ring and waffled Jericho with a steel bucket while he had Del Rio in the Walls of Jericho.
Zolph Ziggler ran down to make the save. After dispatching of Del Rio and Ricardo, Ziggler and Jericho stared each other down. When Jericho turned around, Ziggler hit him with the ZigZag.
Vickie and Brad were in the office saying they were "going to cancel it", when Triple H walked in saying he had heard a nasty rumour that they'd thought about cancelling the Bryan/Orton match tonight. Vickie said she agreed with Vince and that Bryan was too small, and had too many psychological issues. Hunter responded by saying while some people may think that, he doesn't, and the WWE Universe want to see the match. HHH told Vickie it would be a good idea to give the fans a choice on the match stipulations. Triple H then told Brad that he was wearing a spectacular shirt, and whether it came in mens size.
1-800 FELLA commercial.
Jerry Lawler introduced Vickie and Brad in the ring to announce the launch of WWE 2K14. Crowd went mild. Crowd booed Vickie out of the building. She said the stips for the Bryan/Orton match would be Street Fight, Lumberjack match or Falls Count Anywhere. Crowd were booing so loudly that she had to shout at the top of her lungs. Vickie said she had made a cover of her own. It was the McMahon family. Brad had one too, which was himself along with John Cena and CM Punk. As Vickie and Brad then started arguing amongst themselves, Lawler took control and asked the crowd if they wanted to see the real cover. This time the crowd cheered. Some pyro went off on the rig above the ring, and the cover unravelled. It was,
NO SURPRISESURPRISE, The Rock.
Ryback was shown heading towards the ring backstage.
Match 5: In a horrible match that led to a smattering of "Boring" chants, Ryback beat Khali (w/Hornswoggle and Natalya) with Shellshocked. Referee was talking to Khali in the background, so he may have been hurt off of this.
WWE Champeen (#TAZ) John Cena came out. Autopilot promo. Vowed victory. WWE title is very important. Champ is here. All that 'good' stuff. Left.
Match 6: In a Number 1 Contenders match for the Tag Team Championship, The Usos defeated Sweet T and Brodus Clay (w/Sandy Relief auction winner EMT Scotty Campbell and the Funkadactyls) and 3MB.
After the match, The Shield's music hit and they stood in the crowd and looked down on The Usos.
Worth noting this show alone has probably had more pyro on it than WWE have used in months.
They aired a trailer for The Call...featuring David Otunga (remember him?) and Kane.
Paul Heyman was shown walking at pace through the backstage area towards the ring.
Paul Heyman made his way out to the ring, as they re-aired highlights of Lesnar attacking Punk last week. Heyman said that for the last 7 days he's been dogged by Lesnar's actions last week. He said as they live their lives so much in public, the only place to address this situation was in public. Punk wanted answers, and he was going to get them. Heyman invited CM punk to come down to the ring. Punk's music hit and a quizzical looking Punk made his way down. The commentators, unconvinced, said they smelt a rat. Punk said the public needed to be brought up to speed on their relationship dating back to 2005. Punk said John Laruintis sent him down to developmental where Heyman was in charge. Punk claimed that WWE didn't want him to succeed, and upper management used to send emails to Heyman telling him not to even consider him for the main WWE roster. But because Heyman saw something in him, he refused to fire him. When ECW was resurrected, Heyman's first pick was CM Punk. With that out of the way, Punk said he wants Heeman to tell Brock he's coming for him. He doesn't care if he's bigger or stronger, he isn't better. Brock doesn't have the balls to be on RAW tonight, so he's telling it to Heyman. Let Lesnar know that Heyman's "beast incarnate" is going down.
Punk then asked Heyman what happened last week, and whether he told Lesnar to attack him or if Lesnar did it of his own accord. Punk questioned if Heyman saw the writing on the wall after Payback and sent Lesnar after him. Punk demanded Heyman to look him in the eye and tell the truth for the first time in his life. Heyman buried his head, looked up at the ceiling and then told Punk he never wanted it to be this way between them. Paul said as Punk is his best friend, he deserves the truth. Heyman claimed, on his children's life, he didn't know Lesnar would be there last week. Crowd booed. Heyman said that was the same response WWE used to give him. He said it's a fact Lesnar had fulfilled all contractual obligations with WWE. Heyman told Punk that when he said Lesnar needed Heyman's help last week, he effectively picked a fight with Lesnar. Heyman said the reason we never saw a Lesnar & Punk Tag team was because of professional jealously between the two, and that's why he kept them apart. Heyman said he and Punk would once again walk down the aisle
- Joined in 2008
- Location: Botswana
PostRe: The WWE RAW Report: SmackDown July 3rd 2012
by KK » Mon Jun 23, 2014 2:33 pm
WWE SmackDown Special: Great American Bash wrote:
Show kicked off with various geeks having a Great American Bash backstage party. Santino struggled to light a barbecue. Kane arrived and magically lit the grill.
Alberto Del Rio came out for a promo for his match with Sheamus at Money in the Bank. He said Sheamus was just like the crowd: a common peasant, and a hooligan. He said Sheamus, like the crowd, was someone who tried to take advantage of hard working people like Alberto Del Rio. Del Rio said not to hate him because he's successful and they're not. Unlike those in the crowd, he came to America legally. He went outside and asked someoene to show him their papers. They found a guy who was carrying them on him, before moving on and calling a little kid an "illegal alien". He found another fan, an obvious plant, who had no papers. He wanted security to throw him out of the building, but the fan said that this isn't Arizona, it's Texas. Del Rio went to throw him out when Sheamus arrived. Del Rio and Sheamus start brawling. Sheamus threw Del Rio off the ramp, and Ricardo Rodriguez jumped on him, but he muscled him off too. Finally as he was beating on Rodriguez, Del Rio gave him a high kick. Rodriguez put Sheamus over the car engine and repeatedly slammed the car hood on Sheamus' head. After the break Sheamus was shown bleeding from the head.
Match 1: Layla and Great Khali defeated Antonio Cesaro and Aksana when Layla pinned Aksana with a neckbreaker. Layla and Khali then danced afterwards.
Match 2: Money in the Bank Qualifer - If Rhodes wins he's in the SmackDown match. Rhodes won after he escaped the Killswitch and delivered Crossroads for the victory.
Match 3: Dolph Ziggler defeated Alex Riley with the Zig Zag to qualify from the SmackDown Money in the Bank.
Michael Cole, sporting a Vince McMahon hairstyle and doing his best Vince impersonation were this 1990 & being played by Ian Beale, interviewed A.J. Cole first acted like she had mental problems, but then asked why she was interested in someone like Punk or Bryan when she could have a real man, a former war correspondent and the Voice of the WWE. Daniel Bryan interrupted, and then attempted to suck up to AJ. CM Punk came out and did the exact opposite. AJ then gave Daniel Bryan a long kiss. CM Punk walked off, before AJ turned back around and also kissed Punk, before skipping off. Both Bryan & Punk stood there looking confused.
Match 4: Jim Duggan, Sgt. 'Straight from World War 1' Slaughter & Santino Marella defeated Hunico, Camacho & Drew McIntyre when Satino pinned Hunico following The Cobra. Michael Cole spent the match burying the legends.
During the 4th July backstage party, Damien Sandow came in to preach that this isn't what the founding fathers were thinking of when they fought for freedom. Sandow confronted Ryder saying he was one of the mouth breathing miscreants. Ryder told him to leave. Sandow attacked Ryder, but Ryder made a comeback and threw a punch bowl at Sandow, but he ducked out of the way and the punch went all over Eve Torres. She looked like she was going to cry. Teddy Long laughed and Eve stormed off.
Match 5: Ryback pinned Curt Hawkins in a squash. Crowd chanted "Goldberg".
Jael De Pardo was shown in the crowd looking gorgeous. They plugged Haunted Highway, next on SyFy!
Teddy Long came out in a Chef's outfit & a Kiss The GM apron, and thanked the fans. He then introduced the Great American Bash Battle Roy-ale.
Match 6: Battle Royal - Winner Becomes the Acting SmackDown General Manager next week. CM Punk and Daniel Bryan eliminated each other. John Cena eliminated Tensai. Big Show eliminated John Cena. Final two came down to Kane and Zack Ryder. Ryder low bridged Kane to win the Battle Royal.
- Joined in 2008
- Location: Botswana
WWE RAWzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Results wrote:
Location: Tyson Events Center; Sioux City, Iowa
Commentators: Michael Cole, John "Bradshaw" Layfield and Jerry Lawler
YOU DON'T NEED TO WATCH THE FIRST TWO HOURS BECAUSE NOTHING HAPPENED.
With less than two weeks until Money in the Bank, Monday Night RAW opened with Vickie Guerrero in her office announcing WWE Champion John Cena would face World Heavyweight Champion Alberto Del Rio in a non-title match later tonight, before thanking the McMahon's.
After the return of the RAW intro, Daniel Bryan made his way out to the ring. There was a ladder set up in the ring, with the Money in the Bank briefcase hanging above. This was one of those long drawn out segments in which all the competitors for the match come out and interrupted each other, each vowing victory. Daniel Bryan said he wants to be WWE champion, and follow in the footsteps of Bruno Sammartino, Hulk Hogan (who received a reaction not heard since the dying days of Hulkamania in 1996), Steve Austin, and The Rock (who received a mixed response). Sheamus interrupted. Randy Orton interrupted. Kane interrupted. Christian interrupted. CM Punk interrupted. In a line clearly designed to mock the increasing predictability of these segments, Punk said he had promised himself he wasn't going to interrupt, but then he heard the word "best" from Christian and felt compelled to come out and set the record straight. As Punk was about to go through the reason he was better than each of his opponents, Bryan cut him off, predicting that's exactly what Punk was going to do. Bryan said he will make Punk tap out quicker than he did Orton on RAW last week. As Randy was about to get in the face of Bryan, Kane stepped in. Bryan shouted at Kane that he doesn't need him to fight his battles on his behalf...which led to Randy Orton dropping Kane with an RKO.
WWE Champion/World Champion Retrospective: Buddy Rogers and Lou Thesz.
A vignette for the Wyatt Family aired.
They re-aired highlights of The Shield losing to Christian and The Usos on SmackDown.
They announced The Usos will challenge for the Tag Titles against The Shield on the Money in the Bank pre-show.
Match 1: In a rematch from Friday Night SmackDown, The Shield defeated The Usos and Christian when Ambrose rolled up Chrisitan after being knocked off the turnbuckle neck first onto the ropes by Rollins.
Kane was in his locker room when Daniel Bryan walked in. Bryan apologised for earlier and said he had seen Vickie and had made it up to Kane. Kane demanded Bryan stay out of his business. Bryan announced having met with Vickie he'd got Kane a rematch with Randy Orton tonight. Kane, pleasantly surprised, thanked his pal Bryan. Bryan then revealed he'd been named Special Guest Referee, before walking off and leaving Kane fuming.
They recapped Fiesta Del Rio from SmackDown, in which Ziggler interrupted and put the beating on Del Rio and Ricardo.
Match 2: In a match nobody asked for and nobody wanted to watch, Dolph Ziggler pinned Jinda Mahal (w/3MB) off the ZigZag. During the match, the crowd chanted "JBL" and "Jerry, Jerry". Lawler asked if they were in Canada.
After the match, the other 2 members of 3MB got in the ring & attempted to attack Ziggler, but he was able to escape to the outside, in which he quickly outsmarted them by leapfrogging the steel steps and laying all of them out. Ziggler then celebrated by climbing on top of the announce table, as Professor Michael Cole was caught reading off his script.
WWE Champion/World Champion Retrospective: Bruno Sammartino and Harley Race. These short videos are probably going to be one of the highlights of the entire night.
Vickie and Brad Maddox were in their office. Vickie was mocking the McMahon's for constantly getting involved when Triple H snuck up from behind. Triple H told Vickie to continue. Vickie began backtracking. Triple H said she was doing a great job listening to the fans and making great matches tonight. Vickie said she keeps receiving mixed messages from the McMahon family. Hunter responded by telling her that you listen to everything the McMahons say, and when they've got it all out, ignore everything and just do everything he says instead.
In a weighted Mark Henry Career video retrospective, they did a great job of making Henry out to be a monster. The fact he was a joke throughout the entirety of the 90s? Yeah, they don't want us to remember that...
Match 3: With Daniel Bryan as Special Guest Referee, Kane initially defeated Randy Orton via Disqualification when Orton shoved Bryan and he threw the match out, awarding the victory to Kane. After neither man wanted things to end that way, Daniel Bryan restarted the match.
Match 3 continued: Kane pinned Randy Orton off a big boot when Bryan fast counted the fall. Kane got into a face-off with Bryan, before grabbing Bryan around the neck and teasing a Choke Slam. Cooler heads prevailed, and Kane stormed off, muttering that Bryan was "unbelievable". As Bryan was still in the ring, Randy Orton spun him around and planted him with an RKO.
Punk, Heyman, and Curtis Axel were talking in their dressing room. Punk told Heyman that he would beat the Prime Time Players by himself, and all Curtis Axel had to do was stay on the apron. Punk said while he trusted Paul, he didn't trust Axel. Heyman asked Punk why he would say something like that when Paul Heyman's judgement was correct in 2006 with Punk, therefore all he needed to do was trust his judgement now.
WWE Champion/World Champion Retrospective: Bob Backlund and Dusty Rhodes
Match 4: Sheamus beat Fandango (w/Summer Rae) by Count-Out when Fandango walked out.
Chris Jericho came out for commentary.
Match 5: The Miz defeated "Cryback" in a crappy encounter when he asked the referee to stop the match due to injury. Jericho then got up from the announce table, got in the ring, and nailed "Cryback" with the Code Breaker. Ryback's now officially a midcard act.
WWE Champion/World Champion Retrospective: Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair.
Mark Henry made his way out onto the stage. Crowd gave him the "What" treatment. This made Henry stumble over his words a bit. Henry said "they" never gave him a chance. Henry said that doing the right thing never got him anywhere, and that he only pretended to like "the boys" backstage. He said after all the years he's given "this organisation" (there's a WCW line) & to the fans he deserves to be Champion. He said after he's beaten John Cena nobody will be able to deny him, and that he'll have earned the WWE Championship. Henry told the cameraman to look right into his face, as at Money in the Bank he was going to "kick Cena's ass".
Vickie and Brad were in their office when Vince 'Robert Lindsay' McMahon walked in. Vince asked Vickie if she remembered what he had told her about Bryan last week. Vince chastised them both for giving a main event of such magnitude away for free (I know right? What do they think this is, Nitro or something...). Vince then told them there's a long line of people that have failed to listen to him that have ended up fired. Vince told them to enjoy the rest of the night, and left.
Match 6: Curtis Axel and CM Punk (w/Paul Heyman) defeated The Prime Time Players when Punk hit the GTS on Darren Young and, after Punk had also dispatched of Titus O'Neil over the top rope, Curtis Axel tagged himself in and stole the pin. As Heyman and Axel celebrated, Punk had words with Heyman before storming off up the aisleway.
WWE Champion/World Champion Retrospective: Steve Austin and Sting.
Match 7: Kaityln (w/Layla) pinned Alicia Fox with a Spear. The commentators were so disinterested they started talking about Wimbledon again, as Lawler pretended to snore.
After the match, Divas' champion AJ Lee and Big E Langston came out. AJ Lee said those in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. AJ said before Kaitlyn had come to WWE, when she was broke and desperate, she had taken part in some unsavoury modelling photo shoots (well, wasn't expecting PG WWE to mention those. They're on page 1 by the way...) and she'd managed to get hold of one (figured out how to use Google, I see). They then put up a doctored photo on the Titan Tron of Kaitlyn weighing the same amount as Bertha Faye.
Vickie and Brad were still in their office, as Brad was attempting to send an email on his phone Stephanie walked in. She told Vickie that she had personally asked her to see to the AJ situation and she hadn't, just like she hadn't bothered with announcing the MITB participants last week. Stephanie said they were too busy attempting to send an email instead of actually watching the show. Vickie lost it and said she couldn't keep up with attempting to please the McMahons. Steph cooled and said she understands how hard the job can be sometimes, especially when there's mixed messages at the top of the company (LOL). Vickie then started mocking Triple H and Vince. Stephanie then turned on her again and asked when they both became girlfriends, and she doesn't appreciate Vickie slagging off her family. Stephanie told them that next week they're all going to have an official job evaluation in the ring - Vickie could either get promoted or fired. Stephanie said that was one of the great things about RAW, in that it's unpredictable and you never know what's going to happen. I guess she hasn't been watching this show either...
A RVD highlight reel aired. Back in the arena, the crowd chanted "RVD".
Damien Sandow and Cody Rhodes cut a promo on the Money in the Bank match, and that the match won't come between their friendship.
Zeb Colter came out with Antonio Cesaro and cut an anti-government promo and introduced a returning Jack Swagger. Crowd didn't give a gooseberry fool, with a few half heartedly chanting "USA".
Match 8: The night of boring matches devoid of crowd heat continued as Antonio Cesaro pinned Cody Rhodes with the Neutraliser. After the match, Sandow got in the ring and looked rather annoyed Rhodes had lost so quickly.
WWE Champion/World Champion Retrospective: Triple H and Booker T.
There was some rottenly acted segment backstage with the Divas' (two of which brand new, one being a gorgeous dye-jobbed red-head named Eva Marie) promoting Total Divas on E!
They announced CM Punk would be making a "special appearance" on SmackDown Friday.
Main Event: WWE Champion John Cena (wearing red and yellow underpants, brother) defeated World Heavyweight Champion Alberto Del Rio with the FU in a non-title match. Dolph Ziggler came out and climbed onto the turnbuckle, distracting Del Rio for the finish.
After the match, Mark Henry grabbed the WWE Championship and got in the ring with John Cena. He teased striking Cena with it, but then dropped it and walked out.
In another move reminiscent of WCW Nitro, the cameras went back to the announce table, as Michael Cole told us on next week's RAW the Wyatt Family will début. They showed a video of a rocking chair going back and forth, with a voice over to take the show off the air.
- Joined in 2008
- Location: Botswana
WWE RAW Results 8th July 2013 wrote:
Location: 1st Mariner Arena; Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Michael Cole, John "Bradshaw" Layfield, Jerry Lawler
The final RAW on the road to Money in the Bank kicked off with Vickie Guerrero and Brad Maddox already in the ring, where a ladder was also set up. Vickie said that the ladder was associated with the likes of Shawn Michaels, Razor Ramon and the "the one and only" Triple H. Vickie said each rung represented her climbing the company ladder. Vickie began climbing the ladder all the way to the top. Jerry Lawler then interrupted, saying the McMahon's had chosen to allow the WWE fans to give their opinion on Vickie's job performance by voting exclusively on the WWE App, with the choice of either PASS or FAIL. Vickie quickly went on to say how much she loved the WWE fans. She announced she had booked spectacular matches for tonight, with Mark Henry having a Face-Off with John Cena, Christian taking on Kane, Randy Orton facing CM Punk and Sheamus vs Daniel Bryan, next.
RVD Flasback: RVD winning the Money in the Bank from WrestleMania 22 April 2nd 2006.
Match 1: In a great match in front of an energetic crowd, Daniel Bryan defeated Sheamus when he reversed Sheamus' Texas Cloverleaf into a roll-up. After the match, both men shook hands.
A video aired of a WWE.com reporter asking some strange individuals in the woods for directions to the Wyatt Family's base camp.
AJ Lee was backstage with Big E Langston, discussing how they made it out of SmackDown in one piece. Big E started laughing & asked why AJ Lee was "bugging out" over Kaitlyn. Dolph Ziggler then walked in and asked Big E to give them a second. AJ Lee asked what's wrong. Dolph said more like what's right, as she's been so concerned with Kaitlyn she's missed his last few matches. AJ Lee cuddled up to Dolph, and said that their first priority should be that they both walk out of MITB as champions, and she would do anything to make sure that happens. AJ asked Dolph if he wanted to go "all the way". Dolph responded by saying he does...all the way to his third World Championship. They then kissed.
A video package aired hyping Mark Henry (same as last week).
They announced that the Tag Team Championship would be on the line against The Usos on the Money in the Bank Kick Off Show.
RVD Flashback: Winning the Intercontinental Championship in a Ladder match against Eddie Guerrero on the May 27th 2002 episode of RAW.
Match 2: In a contest that was longer and more competitive than it had any right to be, Tag Team Champions The Shield defeated Tons of Funk (w/The Funkadactyls) in a non-title match when Reigns Speared Sweet T for the pin.
A WWE.com reporter was still on the hunt for the Wyatt's, this time turning up at a seemingly derelict house in the middle of nowhere. The camera then noticed one of them in the garden, as another of the Wyatt's then appeared at the door, asking the camera man to follow him.
WWE Champion John Cena made his way out to the now obligatory mixed reception. Cena said Mark Henry wanted him to come out to the ring to 'talk'. John Cena said he was here and ready. This brought out Henry.
Mark Henry said Cena had the same look on his face as last week, and that was a look of fear. Cena responded by saying he was standing right there and wasn't afraid. Henry said he should be, as for 17 years he has starved. John Cena quipped that he wasn't out there for him to talk about a damn Snickers bar. Henry said Cena was just like the people, "a puppet". Henry claimed he needed to win the WWE title to validate his careerer, and that winning it would make him a first ballot Hall of Famer. "I would sell out my own momma to have that". John said Henry had better win on Sunday, as he had won and lost it, but had done so with respect. Whereas when he looks in Henry's eyes and all he sees is a desperate man. Cena told Henry he had better walk out as champ, because if he doesn't he'll have lost the respect of everyone and he get nothing. Henry said he doesn't care what anybody thinks, and while Cena cares he doesn't. The crowd chanted "Cena sucks", which led to Cena asking how he couldn't care for this. Henry told Cena that if he interrupted one more time then Money in the Bank would start tonight. With that Cena took his shirt off and asked Henry to cross the line right now. Henry said he wasn't doing it for free, and that he had taken a 50% pay cut before, and wasn't losing money again. Henry then said he had changed his mind and would give Cena a small sample. Henry teased fighting Cena, but then backed off and was about to leave. Henry then cheap-shotted Cena. Cena regained the upper hand and went for the AA, but he couldn't pick up Henry, and he fell on top of him. Henry muscled up Cena and gave him the World's Strongest Slam, before picking up the championship and, with one foot rested on Cena, held the title aloft.
Sky Sports temporarily lost the feed.
Randy Orton was watching on backstage when Josh Mathews walked in and asked for his thoughts on facing CM Punk later tonight. Orton said Punk has always called himself the best in the world, but he's never believed it, having beat him before. Orton said that if Cena retains on Sunday and finds himself in a vulnerable state, he won't hesitate to cash it in.
They claimed they had received a record 174,000 votes on the WWE App.
Miz came out for commentary.
They re-aired highlights of the conclusion and aftermath to the Ryback and Chris Jericho match from last week's RAW.
Curtis Axel and Paul Heyman, sporting ridiculous sun glasses due to a black eye he'd received at the hands of Del Rio on SmackDown, came out. Heyman said he wasn't on RAW to act as a martyr for CM Punk, instead he was here to "bask in the glory of perfection...perfection in the form of Curtis Axel". Axel said Jericho calls himself the best in the world at what he does, and walks around with a jacket with Christmas lights all over it to tell people he's walked through the door, but all he needed was the Intercontinental title, and he wasn't going to let Miz or Jericho get in the way of perfection.
Match 3: Chris Jericho pinned Curtis Axel (w/Paul Heyman) off the Codebreaker, after Curtis Axel got distracted by Miz at the announce table.
RVD Flashback: RVD defeating Christian in a Ladder match for the Intercontinental Championship on the September 29, 2003 RAW.
Josh Mathews interviewed Rhodes Scholars backstage. He asked whether they were concerned about it affecting their friendship. We The People then turned up, followed by Wade Barrett and finally Fandango, who attempted to utter his name, but was repeatedly told not to do it by everyone. Just as he was about to get the "go" out, Barrett punched him in the face. They then all had a stare-down.
The WWE.com Reporter was now being shown into the Wyatt house, as he was told not to stray from his designated route. A light flickered in the hallway. Bray Wyatt then appeared out of nowhere and led him into a another part of the house. Like a horror movie. Well, a PG one, but still...
Match 4: World Heavyweight Champion Alberto Del Rio vs. Sin Cara ended in a seeming No Contest when Dolph Ziggler came out during the match and started cutting a promo on Del Rio, implying he had a tiny cock and was going to lose on Sunday. This led to both men brawling in the aisleway, before Sin Cara took out Del Rio with a move off the top.
Vickie and Brad were shown making their way backstage towards the ring for the Job Evaluation.
Ray Rice of the Baltimore Ravens was shown in the crowd.
They recapped Cena and Henry from earlier.
Vickie was shown sitting on a stool in the ring beside Brad, where a table and chairs were set up. The McMahon's made their way out to No Chance in Hell, and sat behind the desk. Steph said they were here to evaluate her performance. She thanked the fans for voting, and the voting would be factored in. Vickie thanked the McMahons to a chorus of boos. Steph told her to sit back down. Vickie said she has always loved the McMahon's and the fans, and always took pride in producing great programming. She then reminded them how she took over from the mentally unstable AJ, and how many new superstars have returned under her watch, one of which was inspiring the return of Undertaker at WrestleMania.
Stephanie found this preposterous, and then brought up Brock Lesnar, who she reminded Vickie had taken out members of her family. Steph asked if Vickie thought bringing him back was a good idea. Vickie responded by saying she believes in doing the right thing for business, and she had no idea Brock would attack the McMahon family. Vince, who has reverted back to his old man haircut again, took the microphone and said Vickie had no need to apologise because signing Brock was a stroke of genius. Vince claimed the whole world believes Vickie is highly entertaining, and while she may have made a few bone headed decisions, she always had the interests of wholesome family entertainment at heart. Triple H intervened and said he would be the first to admit that Vickie could be unintentionally entertaining, but she was rotten at her job. As an example she was supposed to come out and promote WWE 2K14 but messed it up, and nobody could hear the announcement as the whole crowd were booing her out of building. Hunter said there was good reason why the golden girls aren't on TV any more. He said the WWE Universe deserves better than Vickie, and that she possess the most annoying voice in the history of TV. Vince piped up that while she does have a 'unique voice', she has qualifications others don't. She's broken through male dominance in a corporate structure. Vince said he believes she should be the permanent General Manager. Triple H said if he could speak for the short-sighted at the table, but alas no matter what anyone said, Vince is going to do what he wants anyway; put some spineless puppet in power that strokes his ego and kisses his ass. Hunter said he doesn't want to believe that, but he proposes as Steph called the meeting, she should be the one to decide. Vince replied by saying he had no problem with "daddy's little girl" making the choice. Triple H also said he doesn't have a problem with 'his wife, mother of his children and the person who would have to put up with him at home' making the decision either. Steph said this has escalated further than anyone could have expected (really?), so she's going to leave it up to the App vote. It was revealed 75% had voted FAIL. Steph said the Universe had spoken. Vickie pleaded that she can't listen to these people, before losing it and screaming. Steph said she had two words for her, in the immortal words of her father, "You're fired". crowd sang "nah , nah, nah , nah goodbye". Vickie threw a massive fit in the ring, begging on her knees, before climbing onto the table itself. Stephanie and Triple H made their way to the back, leaving Vince to take the microphone and asking the crowd whether they were happy. Vince said we've broken Vickie's heart, and Vickie didn't fail, rather each and everyone of us failed instead. Vince said he was going to make the right decision and appoint a new General Manager. He therefore was making Brad Maddox the new GM of RAW. Brad stood there stunned. Vince then helped an upset Vickie to the back. JBL said "Welcome to the Titanic".
RVD Flashback: TLC match from the October 7 2002 RAW
Vince was attempting to comfort Vickie backstage. Vince said he would make it right. Brad turned up and apologised, and extended his hand to Vince. He had it extended for ages, leading to Vince asking how long he was going to stand there with his hand extended. Vickie then went nuts and started slapping Brad, running him off. Vince said Vickie had ruined his jacket, and walked off, leaving Vickie to slump to the floor sobbing.
Match 5: Kane defeated Christian with the Chokeslam.
After the match, a video aired on the TitanTron of the Wyatt Family, signalling their arrival. As the lights went out in the arena, the group made their way out, with Bray Wyatt clutching a lantern. He sat down in his rocking chair and blew out the flame, leading to the lights going back up and the two other Wyatt's putting the beating on Kane. They then dragged Kane to the outside and positioned him on one half of the ring steps, bashing his head inbetween the two stairs. Bray Wyatt got up, threw his hat off, and made his way over to a downed Kane, kneeling beside him, as the crowd then broke out into a loud "Husky Harris" chant, leading RAW to a commercial break.
Vickie was shown carrying her stuff backstage in a box when she walked into Ryback. Ryback took the box and placed it on the floor, telling her she deserved better and that it was going to be all okay. They then hugged.
The Bellas were on commentary, and were absolutely awful.
Match 6: AJ Lee and Alicia Fox (w/Big E Langston) vs. Layla and Kaitlyn ended in a another apparent No Contest when Kaitlyn's music started playing after Spearing AJ Lee on the outside.
Josh Mathews interviewed CM Punk backstage, as the Bellas could be heard in the background. Punk said he knows holding the title longer than anyone in the modern era makes him the best in the world, as will defeating Orton tonight.
Notice how they've now stopped promoting Tout?
RVD Flashback: ECW One Night Stand June 11 2006, in which he defeated John Cena for the Championship.
Main Event: CM Punk defeated Randy Orton with the GTS.
After the match, Daniel Bryan ran down and attacked CM Punk, throwing him shoulder first into the ring post. Bryan then went to the outside and grabbed a ladder from underneath the ring, before running it into Orton. Bryan then scaled the ladder and grabbed the red Money in the Bank briefcase hanging above the ring to take RAW off the air.
- Joined in 2008
- Location: Botswana
WWE RAW Results 15th July 2013 wrote:
Location: Barclays Center; Brooklyn, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, John "Bradshaw" Layfield, and Jerry "The King" Lawler
Less than 24 hours removed from Money in the Bank, Monday Night RAW opened with the return of the opening titles and BALLYHOO. After all the bombs had gone off, the lights went out in the arena and the sounds of a drum roll filled the building, to signal the arrival of new RAW General Manager Brad Maddox. Brad announced that later tonight Dolph Ziggler would face off against Alberto Del Rio in a Money in the Bank rematch. WWE Champion John Cena's music then interrupted and he made his way out. Cena joked that this would be the only time Maddox would be in the ring with someone more hated than him. Maddox wasn't very happy at that remark, but Cena said he meant no disrespect by it, and that he would give the "Brad Maddox Era" the benefit of the doubt. Maddox thanked him and lavished praise on the WWE Champion. Brad Maddox announced he was going to do something that had never been done before, and that was allow John Cena to choose his opponent for SummerSlam. Crowd broke out into a very loud "Yes!" chant, clearly ahead of the curve. John responded by saying Brad must be stupid, because he could pick someone like Dok Hendrix, Dutch Mantell (cough), or Michael Cole. Randy Orton, clutching his newly won Money in the Bank briefcase, made his way out to a big reaction. Orton told Brad Maddox not to get ahead of himself because there's a chance John Cena won't even make it to SummerSlam as champion. Orton told Cena he wasn't going to make the same stupid mistake he did by announcing ahead of time when he was going to cash it in. Orton promised Cena he would never see it coming. This brought out Fandango and Summer Rae of all people. Fandango told Orton to "Ssssssh", and said Orton would not be cashing in against Cena, rather against Fandango. As Fandango attempted to get his name out, Orton punched him in the face. Incredibly Fandango got the upper hand and tossed Randy out of the ring. Randy quickly got back in however and did exactly the same to Fandangooo. This led to Brad Maddox announcing Orton vs. Fandango would be the opening match on RAW.
Match 1: Randy Orton defeated Fandango (w/Summer Rae) with the RKO in a thoroughly entertaining match-up in front of a [Doritos] jacked crowd. During the match the crowd performed a Mexican Wave and chanted for "Randy Savage" and "JBL".
They recapped last night's World Heavyweight Championship match between Del Rio and Dolph Zigger.
Dolph Ziggler was walking backstage when AJ Lee ran up behind him, sorry for what happened at MITB. Ziggler told her to stop apologising, and move on. AJ Lee hugged him. Dolph told her however that she didn't understand. By moving on he meant it was "time to move on...from you". He then told her that they were finished, before walking off, leaving an upset AJ Lee to take it in. The crowd meanwhile broke out into a chant of "Yes!".
Mark Henry was shown heading towards the ring.
Back from commercial, a suited Mark Henry was in the ring. Henry said that last night John Cena came as advertised, and he is no doubt one of the best champions of all time. He did something he thought was going to be impossible, and that was beat him. Henry said he gave it all he had, and pushed Cena to his limits. Crowd chanted "You Tapped out". Henry agreed, saying he would have tapped out all of the crowd too. Crowd started chanting "Sexual chocolate", which Henry ignored. Henry said he wants to be the guy Cena picks tonight for SummerSlam. The Shield's music then hit and they made their way through the crowd. They circled the ring, as Mark Henry stood his ground. After initially fighting them off, The Shield gained the upper hand with a Spear from Reigns, before picking him up and delivering a Triple Powerbomb. Crowd loudly chanted "Holy gooseberry fool!".
Brad Maddox was in his office on the phone to his Mum, telling her of course he was doing a great job on his first night. Jericho walked in. After mocking Brad's tight T-shirt (didn't Triple H do that gag a few weeks ago?), Brad said he thinks Chris Jericho can get a chance at being WWE Champion, and what better way to impress John Cena then to have a match tonight against someone like RVD. Crowd cheered. Jericho said if Brad kept making popular decisions like that he would have one hell of a future.
Match 2: World Heavyweight Champion Alberto Del Rio defeated Dolph Ziggler in a non-title match. Ziggler appeared to have the match won, but just as he was going for the pinfall the bell sounded, stopping the referee's count. With AJ Lee revealed as the culprit, and both the referee and Ziggler distracted, Del Rio hit Ziggler with a kick to the side of the head for the win.
After the match, AJ Lee got in the ring and began slapping Ziggler. Upon turning around he was ran over by Big E Langston. Langston then hit the Big Ending, while AJ Lee sat legs crossed in the corner of the ring crying uncontrollably. AJ got up and kissed a downed Ziggler on the lips.
They recapped the opening segment.
R-Truth came out rapping when the lights suddenly went out and the Wyatt Family interrupted to a big pop. With Bray Wyatt sat in the rocking chair, R-Truth was quickly dispatched of. Bray Wyatt made his way into the ring and cut his usual philosophical rambling promo about nothing in particular, as the crowd gave him the dreaded "What" treatment. R-Truth grabbed a chair and stood on the apron, demanding Bray Wyatt be left in the ring alone. They obliged. R-Truth like a complete idiot took so long dawdling he was quickly jumped on and taken out by all three men. Bray took the microphone again, saying R-Truth was not the truth they seek, and Kane should "seek the buzzards". Bray cackled to himself, as the screen cut to black. Crowd interest waned dramatically during the course of this segment.
Immediately following this, Michael Cole announced that voting on the WWE App was now open for who we wanted The Real Americans to face - The Usos, Prime Time Players or Tons of Funk.
They aired a video on the opening of the WWE Performance Center.
The Real Americans made their way out, as Zeb cut a promo bemoaning the lack of English speaking people in Brooklyn. Zeb said Cena could right a wrong and choose one of two real Americans to face him at SummerSlam.
Jerry Lawler announced to the Live crowd fans had decided The Usos on the App Vote, with 55%.
Match 3: The Usos beat The Real Americans. This was a nothing match that went about 2 minutes.
Damien Sandow with his World Heavyweight MITB briefcase came out.
Match 4: Christian pinned Damien Sandow after countering The Elbow of Disdain.
After the match, Sandow grabbed the microphone and told the crowd he was still Money in the Bank, which led to Cody Rhodes running in and and tackling Sandow to the mat, putting the beating on him. As the crowd chanted "Cody", marking this the most over he's been in his entire career, referees got in the ring to break them up, allowing Sandow to retreat through the crowd.
A skit aired for 1-800-FELLA, in which some bloke in an office couldn't stop his hiccups. Sheamus turned up with a solution...a Brogue Kick to the back.
They aired footage from earlier in the day of Vickie Guerrero in the lobby of the arena wearing a "Vote for Vickie" advertising board, and attempting to get fans to sign a petition. For those keeping score since her firing, she's continued to be on all of their main shows...
Match 5: Naomi (w/Cameron) pinned Brie Bella with a Cross Body off the top. The crowd loudly chanted "We Want Puppies"...which led to WWE quickly turning down the crowd microphones.
They aired a WWE.com reporter attempting to get a word with Paul Heyman from last night. Heyman demanded he "Stay out of my personal life".
CM Punk hobbled out to kick off the final hour. Crowd chanted "CM Punk". He said he knew Paul and Lesnar were both in the building, and said he wasn't waiting any longer, demanding thy both come out right now. Heyman walked onto the stage, and told Punk he was looking at an empty ring, as Punk no longer exists in his world. In 2005 WWE had no vision for Punk, and was just a figment of Heyman's own imagination. Heyman claimed that he took him in and trained him, and martyred his entire career for Punk. Heyman said that they both reached the holy grail together. Heyman continually emphasised "We"; "We were the longest reigning champion", and they both came within an inch of breaking Undertaker's WrestleMania streak. Heyman said that without him there is no "We", and without him Punk is no longer the Best in the World. Heyman said the crowd could boo all they wanted, and they could say what they wanted because his aversion to the truth was built on the fact it's a lot harder to swallow. Heyman said Punk went away after losing to Undertaker and when he came back he thought he was better than him. Heyman claimed it was because of this that he decided to lie and manipulate Punk; that he would be unable to to say he dumped Heyman, rather it would be forever known that Heyman dumped Punk. Heymen told Punk that he didn't want a business relationship, he wanted a personal relationship, therefore he has now made it personal. Heyman then brought up that Punk has no family, no wife, no children, and has become estranged from his Mother. All he has left is the WWE Universe. Crowd chanted "CM Punk". All Punk wants, craves, and needs in his life is the WWE Championship. Heyman said as bad a reputation he has in business, he's a whole lot worse personally. Heyman said his children had asked him why Punk doesn't listen like Brock Lesnar does. Heyman claimed the reason he double crossed him last night was because he knows he can't beat Brock Lesnar. Punk asked if Heyman was finished. He saw first hand that the truth hurts last night, and all he has to show for it is 13 staples. Truth is Heyman knows Punk better than anyone, and the truth is he's going to get him, and this time he swears on Heyman's children. Punk said that every person that had conspired and had knowledge of Heyman's double cross - friends, family, clients - he will get his hands on and rip apart. Punk called Heyman a "Son of a bitch" (which WWE muted). Heyman said if he doesn't have a future, he may as well spell out Punk's immediate future. Heyman got on his knees, tapped his watch and shouted "It's clobbering time." This brought out Brock Lesnar. With Punk's attention on Lesnar, Paul Heyman snuck in the ring and nailed Punk from behind. Punk instantly fought back however and both he and Lesnar brawled around ringside, leading to Lesnar throwing Punk over the announce table, and sending him back first into the ring post. Lesnar finally picked Punk up and gave him the F5 onto the announce table. Heyman shouted that Punk stay out of his life, before leaving with Lesnar. WWE trainers attempted to help Punk up but he declined.
They trailed Total Divas' on E!.
John Cena was walking backstage when he bumped into Great Khali. Khali, speaking in his native tongue, appeared to be stating his case for a title match for SummerSlam. John Cena responded in Punjabi.
Brad was in his office texting on his phone, when he noticed Stephanie McMahon...also speaking to someone on the phone too. Steph asked how he thought it was going. Brad said it's going really well. Stephanie said she wasn't talking to him. This brought in Triple H. They both said he's doing a great job so far. They asked if Brad had talked to Vince today. Brad said he'd tried but no, he hadn't as he couldn't find him. Triple responded by saying "that's typical". Hunter said that they are concerned that if Cena picks who they think he will pick, Vince won't like it. Hunter said the only reason Brad was picked to be GM was because he was the only man standing in the ring at the time. HHH wished him well in his "future endeavors", before leaving with Steph.
Main Event: RVD pinned Chris Jericho off the Five Star Frog Splash in a very long match. A lot of crowd chants, such as "ECW" and "This is awesome". Crowd were flat in parts, clearly proving even the best RAW's are tiring...
Michael Cole: "Does anyone get any higher than RVD?"
They announced Paul Heyman would be on MizTV Friday on SmackDown.
The majority of the roster - including the Brooklyn Brawler - was on the stage as John Cena came out to announce who he would be defending the WWE Championship against at SummerSlam. Cena said he had had various superstars coming up to him all night, but he was unable to come to a decision. Therefore he was going to leave it up to the WWE Universe to decide. Crowd chanted "Yes!". In a ridiculously drawn out segment, Cena went through a load of names on the stage, asking the Live crowd who they wanted to see. Having gone through a number of names, including 3MB, Ryback, Del Rio, Khali and RVD, he asked if he has forgotten anybody. Crowd once again broke into a "Yes!" and "Daniel Bryan" chant. John Cena mulled it over for a bit and then, SURPRISE, settled on Daniel Bryan. Bryan then appeared from the mass on the stage and got into the ring and celebrated, as the crowd continued to chant "Yes!" to take RAW off the air.
- Joined in 2008
- Location: Botswana
WWE Royal Tits RAW Results 22 July 2013 wrote:
Location: Laredo Energy Arena, Laredo, TX
Commentators: Michael Cole, John "Bradshaw" Layfield and Jerry "The King" Lawler
RAW kicked off with a contract signing between John Cena and Daniel Bryan. General Manager Brad Maddox - who was sporting a ridiculous grey suit (with elbow pads) and blue trousers combo - introduced both of them to the ring, where they had a table set up. John Cena came out first. Brad asked why he chose Bryan. Cena said he did so because of Maddox and the WWE Universe. Brad asked whether the real reason he chose Bryan was because he thought he was an easy opponent who looks more like a Troll than a future WWE Champion, not to mention someone who is unstable and suffers from relationship issues. This led to Daniel Bryan making his way out. Crowd broke out into a loud "Daniel Bryan" chant. Brad asked Bryan why he thinks Cena chose him, but before Bryan could say anything Cena interrupted and said Maddox, and the "dumbasses he works for", regularly ignores God-given talent when it's "hidden behind a beard". Cena then tossed his title belt across the table, which then slid off and landed on the floor, and said if it's just about size, then Brad may as well take the title and hand it to the Great Khali. Cena said Shawn Michaels, Rey Mysterio, and the late Eddie Guerrero proves it's not just about size or strength. Crowd started a loud "Eddie, Eddie" chant. Cena said the audience loves Bryan and he's proud of that, but he picked Bryan because he deserves it. Brad cut Bryan off before he could respond, leading to Bryan shouting "No" and saying he had no right to cut him off and he deserves a championship match. Brad then told Bryan that Cena may think so, along with a "vocal minority" of the audience, but not everyone does. Which is why he will give Bryan a chance to prove his critics wrong by competing in multiple matches tonight on RAW. Brad then shouted "No!" while the crowd fired back with "Yes!". In humorous fashion, Brad's extremely tight fitting jacket rode up leading him to unbutton it.
Sheamus and Alberto Del Rio were both shown heading towards the ring. Sheamus was shown to have a really nasty looking bruise on his leg.
Match 1: In a non-title match, World Champion Alberto Del Rio defeated Sheamus. Sheamus had Del Rio up for White Noise but his leg gave way, allowing Del Rio to roll him up for the pin.
They announced "the cast" of Total Divas (so the Divas' roster then) will be on MizTV later tonight. Christ.
Renee Young interviewed Booker T and Teddy Long backstage. Booker T said while he respects Vince's decision, after last week he was still left a bit shocked by the whole situation. Teddy Long interrupted and said he had filled in for 3 long months, and he was the one who received all the abuse, while Booker was just sitting at home in his La-Z-Boy. Booker said if he keeps running his mouth he'll throw him out of the building himself. Teddy told Booker there he went again with his threatening behaviour, and if he couldn't be GM, maybe Vince had made the right decision after all, before walking off.
Match 2: Christian pinned Titus O'Neil (w/Darren Young) off the Kill Switch.
During the match the commentators started talking about the Royal Baby.
They recapped Ryback's beatdown of Chris Jericho from SmackDown.
Josh Mathews interviewed Ryback backstage. Josh said that some people feel that Ryback enjoys intimidating others. Ryback said he does, and started doing just that to Josh. He then went on some metaphor about animals eating other weaker animals.
Mark Henry came out and challenged The Shield to come out and face him. This brought them out through the crowd and they got into it in the ring. The Shield gained the upper hand, which brought out The Usos to the make the save. All three sent The Shield packing through the crowd.
Match 3: Dolph Ziggler defeated Darren Young with the ZigZag.
After the match, Big E Langston ran in and attacked Ziggler. Ziggler was able to dispose of him over the top rope, allowing him to make his escape back out of the ring, as Big E got back in. AJ Lee demanded Big E go after him but he instead opted to stay in the ring staring down Ziggler in the aisle.
Daniel Bryan was in his locker room when John Cena walked in. Bryan told Cena not to worry about his matches with three mystery opponents tonight and that he'd be fine on his own. Cena replied that he just wants Bryan to make it to Summerslam in one piece. Bryan asked Cena not to deprive him of this opportunity, and that if Cena does come out there during his matches tonight, it will prove that everything Cena said earlier was false. Bryan left, leaving Cena standing there.
Miz was in the ring for the Total Divas interview. "This is gonna be good" said Lawler. Naturally this was total gooseberry fool, but you knew it would be the moment it was announced. Miz said he was going to be the host for SummerSlam. Crowd didn't give a strawberry float. They showed a clip of Total Divas. Crowd booed. Miz introduced all the divas. Crowd shat on everyone bar Natalya. Miz then asked Lawler to MC. Lawler seemed genuinely surprised by this. Lawler got in the ring and introduced himself to the new Divas. One shook his hand. The redhead slapped him in the face. Lawler said that was his cue to leave. One of the Bellas tits fell out of her dress. Miz plugged Total Divas starting on E! and then the segment ended, as everyone waved. If this was designed to get people not watching Total Divas it was a monumental success.
Brad was in his office when Triple H walked in. Triple H chastised Brad about his opinions on Daniel Bryan. He said it sounds like someone has been putting words in his mouth. Triple H said he didn't care what "the old man" thought anyway as he thinks Bryan could be the future of the WWE. Hunter told Brad that there are two trains leaving the station; one train is the future, the other is a dead-end. As Hunter left Stephanie McMahon walked in and said she feels for Brad. Steph said she has an idea, but she hasn't thought it through yet. Brad said he was on board. The train, that is...
They recapped the Wyatt Family.
Damien Sandow was on commentary. They recapped Cody Rhodes and Sandow's altercation from SmackDown.
Match 4: Cody Rhodes defeated Fandango (w/Summer Rae) off Crossroads after Sandow attempted to interfere and it backfired.
CM Punk hobbled out. They recapped the Lesnar beat down.
Punk said last week he got his ass handed to him. But despite being thrown around and how much he got beat down he still got back up. Despite feeling like he was in a car accident he's still standing. Punk said Lesnar is a former NCAA champion and, most importantly of all, a former UFC champion. He's broken the Undertaker, Triple H and John, but through all his matches his biggest strength is fear. Punk said he wasn't afraid of him, of "Paul Heyman's monster". Punk said he's seen some of the toughest men he's ever shared a locker room with feel fear.
Paul Heyman had a decision to make, and he made the wrong one, therefore he's going to regret it everyday of his miserable life. Punk claimed that no matter what Lesnar or Heyman thinks, this is his ring. Crowd started chanting "CM Punk". Punk vowed he'll get his hands on Heyman. Punk demanded a match with Lesnar at SummerSlam. Heyman appeared on the Tron "via satellite". Punk asked if that claim was correct, otherwise he was coming back there and dragging him to the ring right now. Heyman buried Texas. Heyman asked whether Punk was a coward or a fool. Crowd told Heyman that he sucked. Punk said he'd give him and Lesnar the answer at SummerSlam. Heyman said Punk was all beat up from MITB and last week's RAW. Heyman then accepted the challenge for the PPV.
They announced RVD vs. Alberto Del Rio for SmackDown
Match 5: RVD beat Wade Barrett with the Five Star Frog Splash.
The Real Americans came out and Zeb Colter cut an anti Texas promo, and said all they do is chant "yes!" like a bunch of idiots.
Match 6: Daniel Bryan defeated Jack Swagger with the Yes! Lock in about 3 minutes.
Match 7: In an excellent match that made up for the previous nothing bout, Daniel Bryan defeated Antonio Cesaro with a roll-up.
Brad Maddox was in his office with Alex Riley (remember him?). He said it was impressive, but lets see how he does against his next opponent. Maddox smirked as we cut to break.
Main Event: Daniel Bryan defeated Ryback via Disqualification when Ryback Powerbombed Bryan through a table set up at ringside.
After the match John Cena ran down to make the save and sent Ryback retreating up the ramp. John grabbed the microphone and said how about he attempt to put him through a table instead. Cena then challenged Ryback to a tables match. Ryback responded by saying if that's what he wants, that's what he'll get.
Backstage, Brad Maddox was in his office when Vince McMahon walked in. Brad made Cena vs. Ryback official for next week. Vince asked about Daniel Bryan, and whether Brad was going to deny him competition and the chance to once again prove himself. Vince said he should face someone bigger and stronger than he is. Someone who will bring out the vicious side of Daniel Bryan...perhaps a friend? Brad made Daniel Bryan vs. Kane for next week, as Vince proclaimed "Damn right".
Back in the ring, Bryan was celebrating with the crowd, oblivious to the match just signed with Kane, to take RAW off the air.
- Joined in 2008
- Location: Botswana
WWE RAW Results 5th August 2013 wrote:
Location: Resch Center; Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, John "Bradshaw" Layfield and Jerry "The King" Lawler
After the opening titles and ballyhoo, Monday Night RAW kicked off with Executive VP of Creative Stephanie McMahon in the ring. Yes, they actually put that on TV. Stephanie said it was no secret that Vince McMahon doesn't think Daniel Bryan is championship material. She then introduced a video package on the Tron of Bryan getting a spa treatment on his face - cucumbers, face scrubs, the whole nine yards - going for a suit fitting, working out in the gym, and eating a piece of steak at a Steakhouse. Back in the arena, the crowd booed and chanted "No!". Daniel Bryan came out wearing a suit and tie, with his hair in a ponytail. Stephanie told Bryan he looked "sharp", passed the microphone to Bryan, repeatedly patted him on the back, before leaving. Bryan asked the crowd if they liked the new look, to an obvious response. Bryan said it was funny because he didn't think this is what WWE wanted, rather the company wanted someone who was jacked up (roids?), someone who wears cargo shorts and a bright yellow t-shirt. Bryan said what they need is someone who will sell a load of merchandise that people don't actually need. Bryan said he respected John Cena because he picked him as his opponent, but Cena is a 'Superstar' who sells movies and breakfast cereals. Whereas Bryan is 5'8 with a beard and from the middle of nowhere. Bryan said the difference was John Cena is an entertainer, and he's "a wrestler". Cena has been in sold-out arenas, he has never crawled out of holes and filth. Bryan said if Cena were to get fired tomorrow, he would go back to his mansion and 20 cars and never wrestle again. Bryan said however he would be in a gym, or any old dirtbox which had a ring because he loves wrestling. Bryan asked the crowd to make a deal. He dress up in this suit for now because at SummerSlam he'll do what they want and make Cena tap out. This brought out Vince McMahon. McMahon said he doesn't want Cena to be champion, but he definitely doesn't want Bryan. McMahon said if Bryan were to win, it would be the first time a dwarf, a man as muscular as a toothpick, had been champion. McMahon said Bryan looked like a miniature Mick Foley. He told Bryan he should listen because he has considerable influence over the WWB Title situation at SummerSlam. McMahon then told Bryan that if he really wants to be WB Champion he needs to shave the beard. McMahon then asked for a barbers chair to be brought out. McMahon told Bryan that if the people truly want him to be WWB Champion, then he will do what he says. Bryan hesitantly got in the chair set up on the outside. Vince called for a barber. This brought out renowned barber...Wade Barrett. Vince McMahon attempted to dance to Barrett's theme music like this was "Somebody call my Mamma". Barrett took ages assembling his tools on the table as McMahon momentarily contemplated what they call Barbers in the UK. Barrett approached Bryan to shave his beard, but Bryan head-butted him before slamming Barrett into the barber's chair. Bryan then shaved off one side of Wade's beard. As McMahon did his nut inside the ring, Bryan chucked Barrett back into the chair, continued shaving, then tossed Barrett over the guardrail. On the stage, Bryan asked McMahon if he wants him to change, to which he responded with "No!". Bryan then ripped off his shirt to reveal a "THE BEARD IS HERE!" t-shirt with an arrow pointing to his beard, spoofing Cena's WWE Title version. Bryan's music played as McMahon threw a fit inside the ring, chucking Bryan's jacket into the crowd. This whole segment went 20 minutes.
RVD and Alberto Del Rio, with a returning Ricardo, were shown walking backstage heading towards the ring for their match.
SummerSlam Host The Miz (groan) came out for commentary.
They aired the closing moments of RVD vs. Del Rio from SmackDown 2 weeks ago.
Match 1: RVD defeated World Heavyweight Champion Alberto Del Rio (w/Ricardo) in a non-title match when RVD sent Del Rio head first into a bucket set up in the corner turnbuckle by Ricardo and rolled him up for the pin.
Following the match, and in a complete shocker, Del Rio kicked Ricardo in the face and wore him out with the steel bucket. Del Rio then threw Ricardo to the outside, before wedging his head in-between the ring steps and the post, and performing a drop kick on the stairs. As the commentators requested help for Ricardo, Del Rio celebrated on the ramp and shouted "Mexico" and pointed to a tattoo over his left shoulder. Can't help but get the feeling Ricardo's getting future endeavoured...
They announced CM Punk vs. Curtis Axel for later.
Cody Rhodes was in the ring. He said there was a great Oscar Wilde quote saying "true friends stab you in the front", therefore perhaps Damien Sandow wasn't a true friend to begin with. He then pointed to the Tron as they re-aired the video package from last week of Rhodes sending Sandow's briefcase flying into the Gulf of Mexico. There was a cardboard box in the ring. Rhodes pulled out the damaged Money in the Bank briefcase which was covered in seaweed, saying he had spared no expense in getting it back. He said if Sandow wanted it back he could come out and get it. Damien Sandow walked down the ramp and said he wasn't falling for it, and demanded Rhodes drop the briefcase in the ring and leave, which is exactly what Rhodes did. As Sandow got in the ring to grab the case, Rhodes jumped back in and assaulted Sandow. With Damien back on the outside of the ring, Rhodes opened up the case and a load of sea-related crap fell out. He took the sodden contract and threw the briefcase up the aisle, as a fuming Sandow looked on. The crowd weren't into this segment at all.
They announced Mark Henry vs. Ryback next in a Mania rematch.
Match 2: Mark Henry defeated Ryback via Count Out in about 2 minutes when Ryback simply walked out. This finish is seriously getting old now...
Total Divas related gooseberry fool backstage which resulted in one of the Bella's getting slapped in the face by Natalya.
John Cena came out to kick off the second hour...
John Cena said it was that time again, as he received the usual mixed response from the crowd. Cena said he was used to being a target. Cena continued, saying because Daniel Bryan is a fan favourite, it means the WWE Universe had to choose, and a lot of people were choosing to cheer Bryan. Cena claimed that earlier tonight Bryan spoke a lot of truth, but also showed lot of ignorance. By judging him, he had made himself the same as the likes of The Rock and CM Punk. Cena said he wasn't changing for anyone. Cena said Bryan glorified wrestling in a gym because that's where he'd rather be. Cena said Bryan was right in that he would never wrestle again if he was fired by the WWE, because he'd never tarnish the WWE Championship or the company. Cena said the WWE is the NFL, and Bryan should stop glorifying other wrestling promotions and past achievements, as that was the equivalent of saying he was the 'All-Star of the Arena Football League'. Cena said that claiming he can't wrestle was "very original". Cena said the crowd have chanted it all the time yet he's held the Championship 11 times, and that he shouldn't be underestimated, just like people in the crowd had done for years. Crowd then broke out into a "BORING" chant. Cena tried to cover by saying that it sounded like the people wanted to see Bryan and him fight right now. Crowd chanted "Yes!". Cena claimed that Bryan doesn't realise the opportunity, but if he loses then he's got to admit to himself that he just wasn't that good. Cena came off as a but of a prick here. Randy Orton interrupted, as the commentators questioned whether Orton was coming down to cash in his briefcase. Orton said Cena never ceases to amaze him, as he sees everything but what's staring him right in the face. Orton said it didn't matter who leaves WWE Champ at SummerSlam, as he is guaranteed to win, and the point is the real champ is here. The Shield's music then hit and they made their way through the crowd. Daniel Bryan then ran down to even things up. General Manager Brad Maddox came out and said, seeing as nobody could seemingly get along tonight, he was making a 6 man main event for tonight's main event.
Tons of Funk were dancing in the ring, when the lights went out and The Wyatt Family made their way out to the ring.
Match 3: In the 3rd consecutive rematch, Luke Harper and Erick Rowan defeated Tons of Funk in a nothing match.
Afterwards, Bray Wyatt got in the ring and inflicted more damage on Brodus Clay. After rambling about Kane and the buzzards again, the lights went out and the pyro exploded on the ramp. Kane appeared on the TitanTron and said at SummerSlam nobody would be able to save Bray from a ring of fire, as the pyro on the ring posts went off. Looks like we're getting the return of the Inferno match...
Josh Mathews interviewed CM Punk backstage. Punk said Curtis Axel's Dad Mr Perfect had Bobby Heenan as his manager, but the difference was Mr Perfect could still think for himself, something Axel is incapable of. Punk said if Brock loses at SummerSlam, then Heyman also loses everything.
They recapped Layla's heel turn on SmackDown.
In an inset promo, Layla said the reason she turned on Kaitlyn was because she wanted attention.
Match 4: Layla pinned Kaitlyn (who was wearing rather conservative attire by her standards) with a kick to the head off a distraction from AJ Lee.
Layal and AJ Lee held hands and skipped around together.
Big E Langston vs. Ziggler was announced for later.
They re-aired highlights from earlier between Rhodes and Sandow, as JBL asked why Rhodes hasn't been arrested.
Match 5: Number 1 Contender to the World Title Christian pinned Heath Slater (w/3MB) off a Spear.
Some hobo was shown backstage walking towards the ring. Honestly, Punk looked atrocious.
Match 6: In a non-title match, CM Punk and Curtis Axel ended in Disqualification when Punk grabbed Heyman on the outside and attempted to drag him into the ring. Yes, really.
Brock Lesnar's music hit and he made his way out. Punk nailed the GTS on Axel on the outside, and Lesnar and Punk then got into it. This was almost ruined by some of the worst camera work I've ever seen from the WWE. You could have easily done a better job with a Handycam this was so (intentionally) unstable. Back in the ring, Punk regained the upper hand as Lesnar was about to hit the F5. Punk waffled Lesnar with a chair to the back, his focus turned to Heyman in the ring. Before he could do anything however, Lesnar struck from behind and hit the F5. Brock then went to work on a downed Punk with the steel chair.
They recapped the prior brawl.
Renee Young interviewed Brock Lesnar, Paul Heyman and Curtis Axel (who actually didn't say anything). Brock said he was the "Best of the best of the best of the best this world has to offer; The Beast and the best in the world." Lesnar then told Heyman to say something stupid. Heyman got in the face of Renee and said she should take the microphone and go tell Punk he may not make it to SummerSlam, as next week he was challenging him to a fight: CM Punk vs. Paul Heyman.
Match 7: Kofi Kingston (sporting tights instead of trunks) defeated Fandango (w/Summer Rae) with the Trouble In Paradise. In a staple of a dead crowd, you could hear the arena fan, especially right at the start of this one.
Triple H was on the phone when Stephanie walked in crying. Stephanie said Vince bit her head off about the opening segment being a total disaster. Triple H responded by saying that Vince has finally lost it. The 'once great creative genius is gone', and that he wasn't going to watch Vince destroy SummerSlam and watch "this ship go down" (Oh Christ, it's TNA...the company openly needs turning around). Stephanie then looked at Hunter like she either wanted to strawberry float him or something. Triple H then stormed off.
They recapped Del Rio's beat down of Ricardo.
Zeb Colter cut a short promo about cheese clogging arteries and Real Americans.
Match 8: The Real Americans (w/Zeb Colter) defeated The Usos when Antonio Cesaro got the pin off the Neutraliser.
Match 9: As rematch Monday rolled on, Big E Langston (w/AJ Lee) pinned Dolph Ziggler off the Big Ending. During the match, Kaitlyn walked down and got into a fight with AJ Lee on the outside, which then made its way into the ring, distracting Ziggler.
They plugged a video for Summer Camp on USA Network.
They announced Big E Langston and AJ Lee on MizTV Friday. Josh Mathews then interviewed two female "campers" in the front row. Hi-de-fucking-hi.
They recapped Punk and Lesnar again.
They announced Punk had accepted the challenge against Heyman for next week.
Main Event: John Cena, Daniel Bryan and Randy Orton vs. The Shield ended in Disqualification after about 4 and a half minutes when The Shield entered the ring together and put the beating on Bryan while he had Rollins in the Yes Lock.
As The Shield were then promptly dispatched of, Orton snuck up on a celebrating Bryan and nailed him with an RKO. The Shield then re-entered the ring, but were taken out once more by Orton and Cena. As Cena turned around, Randy Orton also hit Cena with an RKO. Orton then motioned he was going to cash in the briefcase, but before he could do so The Shield made their way back down the aisle and into the ring. Orton stayed on the outside, as The Shield continued to assault Cena and Bryan, repeatedly putting the boots to Bryan and delivering a Triple Power Bomb, leaving Orton to stare at his briefcase on the stage, while The Shield were left celebrating in the ring to take RAW off the air.
- Joined in 2008
- Location: Botswana
WWE RAW Results 12th August 2013 wrote:
Location: Sleep Train Arena (never has anything in history been more apt than the name of this building); Sacramento, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, John "Bradshaw" Layfield and Jerry "The King" Lawler.
The final RAW before SummerSlam opened with Daniel Bryan making his way to the ring, holding a towel with "Yes" written on it. A load of people in the crowd were also holding up theirs, having probably been giving it.
Match 1: In a SmackDown rematch (never...) Wade Barrett defeated Daniel Bryan with a roll up when Guest Referee, RAW General Manager Brad Maddox, fast counted the fall. After the match, Bryan teased attacking Brad, but he escaped under the bottom rope and made his way backstage.
They announced Daniel Bryan and John Cena would both be on MizTV tonight; with Money in the Bank winners Randy Orton taking on Sandow next.
Cody Rhodes joined the announce position, while Sandow handcuffed his new briefcase to the top turnbuckle.
Match 2: Randy Orton defeated Damien Sandow with the RKO in 14 minutes, when Rhodes attempted to unlock the briefcase, distracting Sandow.
RVD was going through his "unique pre-match ritual" backstage, with Michael Cole announcing he would be in a 20 man battle royal tonight to decide the Number 1 Contender for the United States Championship.
The Shield interrupted from what appeared to be an underground war bunker or something. Ambrose and Reigns said that the "old guard" needed to go, and for a new generation to rise up. Roman Reigns challenged a team to step up and attempt to take the Tag Team titles off them. Dean Ambrose stated that unless Andre the Giant's ghost was in this Battle Royal, he wasn't losing the United States Championship at SummerSlam.
They re-aired Brock Lesnar's video promo from SmackDown. This was exceptionally good.
Josh Mathews interviews CM Punk in his locker room. Josh asked why he'd take a match so close to SummerSlam. Punk responded by saying that there isn't a man alive afraid of Paul Heyman. However Paul Heyman is anything but stupid, and tonight was nothing but a chess game, with Paul manoeuvring his pawns into place. Punk said he had a good feeling he'd be seeing a bit of Brock Lesnar later tonight.
Big E Langston cut an inset promo, claiming he was always better than Dolph & vowing victory at SummerSlam.
Match 3: In a strawberry floating awful match that must have been booked by someone as high as a kite at the time, Khali and Natayla (w/Hornswoggle) defeated Big E Langston and AJ Lee when Natalya put AJ Lee in the Sharpshooter. Twice. The referee completely messed up the original call. AJ Lee tapped, and Natayla let go of the hold. Everyone then stood around for a while, and nobody knew what the hell was going on. Natayla then reapplied the hold and AJ Lee tapped out...again, with the inept official finally calling for the bell. The commentators then buried the referee.
After the match, Khali chopped down Big E and left him laying.
Vince McMahon, wearing a HILARIOUSLY bright suit, was shown strutting backstage towards the ring.
They announced the SummerSlam pre-show would be an hour long, with Shawn Michaels and Booker T being the guest panellists.
Vince McMahon made his way out. Vince said there was quite a lot of controversy over the opening bout. They recapped the conclusion on the Tron. Vince said we were all due an explanation, so it was time for RAW GM Brad Maddox to get out to the ring. Brad came out, still wearing his referee shirt. Vince asked why Brad appointed himself referee. Brad claimed Daniel Bryan matches tend to get out of hand, so therefore he thought the WWE fans would appreciate an authority figure such as himself. Vince said even he would have to to admit that was a pretty fast count.
Brad said he may be a little rusty, and may have got a little excited. Brad apologised. Vince said there was no need to apologise, as everyone makes mistakes. Brad asked for a second chance to referee Cena vs. Bryan at SummerSlam. Vince asked whether he would be impartial, to call it right down the line, no matter personal differences. Brad said he would. Vince asked him to cross his heart, and on scouts honour. Brad promised. Therefore Vince announced Brad as the Special Referee for Sunday. This instantly brought out COO Triple H. Vince muttered to Brad off mic that HHH has never been the same since he cut his hair. Crowd chanted "Triple H", which led to Vince telling the crowd not to feed his massive ego. Triple H responded by saying he couldn't hear as 15,000 fans were screaming his name (exaggerating big time...this building is far from sold out). Triple H said he agrees with Vince in that SummerSlam does need someone impartial to call the match right down the line. It needs someone with the guts to not be intimidated by anyone or anything...he just doesn't think Vince is referring to Brad Maddox. More to someone like...Triple H. He then kicked Brad in the gut and nailed him with the Pedigree. Vince then dropped the microphone and stormed out.
They aired a graphic for Kane vs. Bray Wyatt's Ring Of Fire match for SummerSlam, using footage of the ring from the RAW IS WAR Inferno match in 1999. Cole made sure to note nobody would be getting set on fire on Sunday, rather it would be to keep out interference.
Match 4: Kane pinned Titus O'Neil (w/Darren Young) off the Chokeslam.
After the match, the lights went out and the Wyatt's made their way out. As the lights came up, Luke Harper and Erick Rowan were in the ring ready to attack Kane, but he had vanished. The camera then revealed he was on the stage. Kane then symbolically set off the pyro on the ring posts.
Josh Mathews interviewed Nikki and Brie Bella on Total Divas. Natalya turned up, along with the red head and the Funkers. This led to Natalya vs. a Bella, with friends in each corner for SummerSlam. Natalya then got slapped in the face by a Bella.
Match 5: World Heavyweight Champion Alberto Del Rio beat Kofi Kingston in a non-title match with the Cross Arm Breaker submission.
They aired a music video looking at the career of Christian.
Renee Young interviewed Christian backstage. He said all he needed was "One. More. Match." Absolutely nobody chanted along. Del Rio then walked in, said something in Spanish, and held up the World Title.
As this 15 hour RAW rolled on, The Real Americans came out. Zeb Colter slagged off Sacramento and went through his usual anti immigration ramblings.
SummerSlam Press Conference at 2pm US time tomorrow.
Match 6: In another rematch of a rematch, The Usos defeated The Real Americans (w/Zeb Colter) when Swagger was rolled-up.
Miz was in the ring for MizTV to a lukewarm reaction. He called out Daniel Bryan and John Cena to the ring. Bryan said it was great someone had finally stood up to Vince in regards to Triple H making himself referee. Bryan said the fans can now get the match they deserve.
Cena said Miz has to love this, as MizTV is usually a "trainwreck of a segment". Miz asked Cena what his real issues were with Daniel Bryan. Cena claimed that there weren't any, with the only issue between the both of them the WWE Championship. Simply put, Daniel wants to be the champion and John is the champion. Cena said he picked Daniel because he deserves the opportunity and he will put up a hell of a fight. Miz then asked Daniel Bryan if he understood that as code for 'Bryan is going to lose'. He said Bryan was selected because Cena wants to ride the sudden wave of popularity while securing an easy victory. Bryan then cut Miz off, telling him that if he didn't shut up, he would punch him in the face.
[SKY CUT OUT HERE AS, ONCE AGAIN, THEY DECIDED TO UPDATE THE BOX]
Back from the interruption, John Cena slapped Bryan in the face, and it looked like the two of them would get into it. This brought out Triple H for the second time tonight, as he tried to calm the situation. Randy Orton then came out, and held the MITB briefcase above his head on the stage. Long segment that went 20 minutes.
Fandango (w/Summer Rae) vs. R-Truth never got started, as they both brawled following a dance-off. On the floor while laying next to the barricade, Fandango grabbed a microphone and uttered his name.
Paul Heyman told Curtis Axel in their locker room he was starting to have second thoughts about his match with Punk.
Match 7: RVD won a 14 minute 20 man Battle Royal, eliminating Mark Henry when he low-bridged the top rope to gain a shot at the United States Championship on the SummerSlam Pre-Show.
After the match, Henry and RVD fist bumped out of respest. As Henry was about to leave, The Shield's music hit and they made their way through the crowd. Was amusing watching RVD making out he didn't know where in the crowd they were coming from, when they always come from opposite the hard camera down the middle stairs. Before The Shield could enter the ring however, Big Show made his way out sporting jeans straight out of the 90s. RVD, Show and Henry stood tall in the centre of the ring.
Paul Heyman wearing a suit and taped up wrists, sans entrance music, made his way out.
Heyman asked Punk if he heard his "worshippers" asking for their hero. Heyman said he doesn't blame Punk, rather he blames the WWE Universe. Punk used to live for Heyman's respect and love, rather now he lives for the fans acceptance. Heyman said the fans took Punk away from him, so tonight he's going to take the fans worship of Punk away from them. Heyman said that all he had been hearing was people claiming he'd just set a trap for Punk to walk into. Heyman said he sure had - but he hadn't done it alone, rather he'd had a conspirator. This brought out Brock Lesnar. Heyman said he had prepared a little something to show him. A video aired on the Tron of Lesnar destroying Punk over the last few weeks. Heyman said he was prepared to face CM Punk tonight on one condition: Punk would have to face Lesnar tonight as well. Cult of Personality filled the arena, as Lesnar and Heyman turned their attention to the stage. Unbeknownst to them, Punk had come through the crowd and grabbed a television camera. As Lesnar turned around, Punk waffled him in the head with it, and then continued to wear him out. Lesnar rolled to the outside, leaving Punk to grab a chair and hit Lesnar over the back. Punk then set his sights on Heyman, chasing him up the ramp. Curtis Axel ran down to make the save, allowing Heyman to make his exit backstage. Punk however nailed Axel with a chair to the gut, followed up by a GTS on the stage. Punk then stared down a fallen Lesnar to take RAW off the air.
Main Event: CM Punk vs. Paul Heyman never got started
- Joined in 2008
- Location: Botswana
WWE RAW Results brought to you by FOOTLOCKER August 19th 2013 wrote:
Location: Honda Center; Anaheim, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, John "Bradshaw" layfield and Jerry "The King" Lawler
Less than 24 hours removed from SummerSlam, Monday Night RAW opened with Mr strawberry floating Jollities John Cena coming out grinning like a loon. Cena said he was disgusted about what happened last night. Crowd told him he sucked anyway. Cena thanked them all for the 'warm welcome'. Cena mentioned how he had previously said the next person to hold the WWE Title would have earned it, and Bryan did just that. Crowd chanted "YES!". Cena thanked Bryan for bringing out the best in him, and that people in WWE should be judged on their excellence in the ring, rather than their race or creed. Cena then showed off his weird looking tennis ball elbow, the results of a torn triceps. Cena said that WWE had told him to go home and they'd cancel the Championship match at SummerSlam, but he had refused. Cena said he wasn't using it as an excuse for his loss, as Bryan had won it in a clean fight and was the better man. Cena said last night that some yokel told him while he was backstage that Triple H had just handed the title to Randy Orton, which disgusted him. Cena moved back to the subject of his elbow, and said that he can't put off surgery any longer and therefore would be leaving the WWE for 4-6 months. Crowd chanted "YES!" However before he goes, he wants to introduce someone who has earned his respect, and a man who has earned the right to be called WWE Champion. Daniel Bryan made his way out to a huge ovation. Cena and Bryan shook hands, as Cena left. Crowd erupted into a loud "Daniel Bryan" chant. Before Bryan could speak, Executive Vice President of Creative (kayfabe) Stephanie McMahon made her way out. Steph apologised for last night. She told Bryan he won the title in the middle of the ring, and didn't deserve his dream snatched away. However, Triple H was only doing what was best for business. Crowd chanted "NO!". Bryan said he expects that from Vince and Stephanie, but not from a renegade like HHH. But now he's wearing a suit and a corporate haircut. Bryan said when you lie down with trash, sooner or later you start to stink, quite clearly talking about Stephanie. Stephanie said she was going to let it slide. Bryan sarcastically said that was great. Bryan asked what she was going to do, fire him? Bryan said he wasn't afraid of wrestling elsewhere, but before he leaves, he's going to get his monies worth, and actually give the company a reason to fire him. Steph said he was clearly worked up, and his anger issues were rearing their head again. Stephanie told Bryan that he just needs to manage his expectations, as not everyone can be the face of the company. Bryan has a place here; maybe not as an A, but a "solid B+". Bryan said that was funny, as she was reminding him of a word that begins with a B right now. Some in the crowd called Stephanie a "Bitch". Bryan said he will be WWE Champion, and he doesn't care what she thinks. He than smashed the microphone out of her hand as she tried to speak. She got another one, and demanded Bryan calm down, and she wasn't going to be intimidated. Because of Bryan's actions, she demanded security come down to the ring. She claimed Bryan had forced her hand, and wanted security to escort him from the building. She told Bryan he had no one to blame but himself.
Match 1: In a rematch from last night, Cody Rhodes pinned Damien Sandow. Neither received an entrance.
RAW General Manager Brad Maddox announced that Dolph Ziggler would be in a 3 on 1 Handicap match tonight against The Shield. They showed a transcript of Ziggler's remarks on WWE.com about never trusting Triple H. Maddox said the match tonight had nothing to do with that though.
Paul Heyman was shown walking backstage with his arm in a sling, apparently heading towards the ring.
Paul Heyman was standing in the ring after the break. Heyman said he was going to give everyone a lesson in life. Like rebellious children, Punk had to fly the nest to prove his worth. Heyman said he'll admit Punk gave everything Lesnar could handle, so where do they go from here. He said it was time for Punk and himself to end their family feud. He said he's been more of a father figure than Punk's real father. Heyman claimed this was no longer a time for retribution. Heyman said he forgives Punk for his actions, so when Punk apologies to him, he'll take him back into the Heyman stable. He claimed Punk was far better with him than without, and they'll both reach bigger heights than ever before. Heyman said he still loves him, and therefore was willing to put all this behind them. Heyman said he'll guide him back to the WWE title and to the main event of WrestleMania. Together, "We will be the best in the world.".
The Funkadactyls were stretching backstage, when the Bella's turned up. The Bella's told Cameron and Naomi that they hoped they'd be more interesting in their match tonight than on Total Divas.
They announced Randy Orton's Coronation would be later tonight.
Match 2: The Funkadactyls defeated Layla and Divas' Champion AJ Lee when Layla was rolled up.
They recapped the opening segment.
Match 3: The Shield defeated Dolph Ziggler when Roman Reigns hit the Spear for the pin. Seth Rollins appeared to injure his knee and was limping quite badly.
Sky HD DIED. I've opened a beer.
There were small Mexican flags on the corner ring posts.
Match 4: World Heavyweight Champion Alberto Del Rio - who looks an absolute mess - defeated Sin Cara in a non-title match via ref stoppage in about a minute when Sin Cara injured his hand or wrist. Del Rio seemed legitimately pissed off at this, resulting in the audio being muted as he swore his head off. The referee was telling Del Rio to lay off kicking Sin Cara, in a more animated and vocal way than you'd imagine.
Del Rio took the microphone and said he represents the Mexican people as they don't have a hero. A returning Ricardo interrupted. Ricardo said Del Rio wasn't a hero to him or the people, and especially the Latino community. He said he was very happy he no longer had to represent Del Rio, but he does now represent someone else. Someone that does stand up for the people. Rob Van Dam. Nope, didn't see that one coming either...
Zeb Colter cut a promo about the illegal scummers. Crowd chanted "What" because NOBODY GIVES A gooseberry fool. We The People is surprisingly over though.
There was a FAT SWAGGER sign in the crowd.
Match 5: Prime Time Players beat The Real Americans when Darren Young pinned Antonio Cesaro with the Gut Check. Contrived.
Renee Young interviewed the Big Show backstage. She said there had been rumours that Show and Henry were going to team up to challenge for the Tag Team Championship. Show confirmed these rumours to be true. Brad Maddox turned up and told Renee to "shooo, shooo". Brad said Show had made some disparaging remarks about the COO. Show responded by saying this was America, land of free speech. Brad said WWE were advocates of free speech, but he was going to allow him to express himself a different way - in a handicap match against The Shield. Compared to earlier however, all three will be allowed in the ring at the same time.
In the most blatant product placement ever for Footlocker, some bloke from the company was plugging the product to two WWE jobbers when Fandango and Summer Rae danced in and took the shoes. Needless to say, this won't make the Sky edit.
They re-aired the opening video package for the SummerSlam main events.
Ryback told some dude backstage that this was his locker room. They then went into the shower together and strawberry floated. Not really. Ryback demanded the guy turn the shower on and get soaking wet. He then told him to turn the shower off and leave, and take his wet bag with him. Ryback then laughed. Was half expecting Heidenreich to walk in.
Match 6: The Shield defeated Big Show in a 3-on-1 Handicap match when all three pinned Show following a Triple Power Bomb.
CM Punk, hobbling, made his way out to a loud reaction from the crowd. Punk said he wasn't sure what to say. Punk then told some poor guy in the crowd to stop booing him, and challenged him to get in the ring. Called him a fatso, and to step in the ring if he had the balls, then called him a son of a bitch. WWE turned the audio off completely. Punk told Heyman to come down if it's an apology he desires, as he may just get what he wants. WWE, clearly having had enough, were now bleeping the word ass. Punk said he was sorry he didn't break his arm and take it home with him, and break his face. Punk vowed to get his hands on Heyman. Punk then asked Heyman to have more guts than the fat guy in the crowd. Crowd chanted "CM Punk". Heyman said sorry...sorry for what was about to happen to him. Heyman told Axel to go tape up for a fight. Heyman said he wasn't the fat guy sitting in the front row, rather the worst nightmare Punk was going to face. BE A STARR.
After commercial break, Punk and Curtis Axel got into a brawl in and around the ringside, which resulted in Punk standing tall and leaving Axel laying. Punk and Heyman then stared each other down.
Match 7: In a match that somehow managed to be terrible despite going under 2 minutes, Bray Wyatt (w/The Family) pinned R-Truth. Some of the crowd chanted for Daniel Bryan.
A vignette aired promoting Los Matadors. It's Primo and Epico.
Match 8: The Usos beat 3MB, as people worldwide picked up their TV remotes and changed the channel.
Main Event: The Miz defeated Wade Barrett by Disqualification when Fandango nailed Miz with a top rope leg drop while Miz had Barrett in the Figure Four. Crowd then Fandango'd. It's been that type of crowd.
Brad Maddox bumped into Stephanie McMahon backstage and told her he'd been notified by building security Daniel Bryan was back in the arena. Stephanie said "good", as she entered Mr. McMahon's office.
The McMahon's were in the ring, as the entire WWE roster had made their way onto the stage, with The Shield standing just in front of the ring. Vince told everyone to "give it up for The Game". Vince said this had been a wonderful night. Vince McMahon said he was proud of his son in law for doing the right thing. They both hugged. Crowd chanted "You sold out". Triple H called the crowd short sighted. Triple H said he did it to ensure the future of the WWE. He did it for the fans, everyone standing on the ramp, Vince McMahon and his father, his wife and for his children. Triple H said he likes Daniel Bryan and considers him a friend. He said Bryan deserved to win. But to be honest, Daniel Bryan as WWE Champion? The face of the WWE? Crowd chanted yes. Triple H said No. Triple H said the fans deserved better than that. The complete package. A+, not B. That's why he gave us all A+ last night.
Triple H said personally he didn't want to throw away the 15 years of blood, sweat and tears that Bryan had endured. It hurt him to do that to Bryan. Triple H said there was no love lost, and a lot of bad blood between him and Orton. He buried his personal feelings however for what was right for the fans, and right for business. Hunter said Daniel Bryan stood out here earlier saying he had a personal problem, but he doesn't care. Triple H called his attitude selfish, as it's not all about Bryan. Triple H told Bryan that he needed to check his ego at the door, just as he does every day.
"I'm going to bury you, you, you, you, I don't even know who you are, you, you, you...."
Triple H then introduced the new Champion Randy Orton. Randy Orton shook everyone's hand and extended his hand to Stephanie. After a pause, they hugged. Orton said he told the fans so. Orton reminded everyone he had said that when he cashed in people wouldn't see it coming, and now for the 10th time he stands as Champion. Orton said he wasn't one for thank yous, but he'll make an exception, as he owes everything to Triple H. They then shook hands again. Orton said everyone in the building should show HHH the respect he deserves. Trips retook the microphone, and seeing as they own the place, they have eyes and ears everywhere, so he knows Bryan is in the arena. Triple H requested he come to the ring. HHH said The Shield are a little intimidating, so maybe they should move so Bryan isn't so scared. Hunter asked the crowd to make him feel at home, so play his music. He mockingly asked the crowd to chant Yes. Bryan came out from beside the stage. The Shield then jumped him from behind. Stone Cold Bryan then beat them all up. Reigns then blindsided Bryan with a Spear, and The Shield destroyed him. Triple H told them to stop, as Bryan clearly had something to say. As Triple H goaded a beaten Bryan into the ring, Orton then nailed Bryan with an RKO. The McMahon's and Orton celebrated in the ring to take RAW off the air, as the crowd watched on deflated. Jerry Lawler proclaimed this as a black day for WWE.
- Joined in 2008
- Location: Botswana
RAW IS STILL 3 HOURS Results August 26th 2013 wrote:
Location: US Airways Center, Phoenix, AZ
Commentators: Michael Cole, John "Bradshaw" Layfield, Jerry "The King" Lawler
Monday Night RAW EXPLODED ONTO THE AIR (Look, I'm running out of interesting ways to start these things...) with The Shield surrounding the ring. THE KING OF KINGS sounded to bring out COO Triple H to a pretty big ovation. Triple H said he wanted to take us all back to the beginning of a new era. The conclusion of SummerSlam aired on the Tron. Hunter said that was just business, with nothing personal about it. They then aired the conclusion of last week's RAW. Michael Cole noted none of the Superstars on the stage intervened because they were fearful of repercussions. HHH said that was personal. Hunter told us the reason he embarrassed Bryan was because his actions at the start of RAW last week made it personal. He walked into the ring and insulted his wife and his family. Triple H said he was willing to be the bigger man however, and move on like none of this ever happened. Triple H claimed he was willing to become a business man with Bryan. Triple H then asked if anyone had seen the ratings - they're through the roof (cough). Oh, there's a massive social media buzz and EVERYTHING. Triple H claimed business was in fact booming. No really, he implored us to check them out. He then introduced the reason why: Randy Orton. Hunter congratulated Orton into breathing new life into the WWE and WWE Championship. Triple H said he likes to reward people that grab the brass ring and run with it. Crowd chanted "No". HHH responded with a mocking "Yes". Hunter revealed he had personally bought Orton a Cadillac Escalade. Triple H has morphed into Eric Bischoff blowing smoke up Hogan's arse in the nWo (remember when he got Hogan a load of presents on nWo Nitro?). Someone drove the car into the building. Randy Orton thanked HHH for the "very generous gift". Orton then thanked Triple H for having the vision and business acumen. Hunter implored Orton to check out the car. Before he could however, Daniel Bryan interrupted. "Sweet ride Randy". Bryan said it was way nicer than his Honda. Bryan said he had a few thank you's of his own to make, as the crowd erupted into a "Daniel Bryan" chant. Bryan thanked every person in the WWE Universe for believing in him. Bryan claimed he isn't the strongest, biggest or prettiest, but despite all that, the people have supported him. He then thanked John Cena...crowd viciously booed. He's praised Cena 3 times now in as many shows. Thanked Cena for allowing him to be able to wrestle in the main event of SummerSlam. Crowd didn't like this at all. Finally, he thanked Triple H, for finally ending this charade and showing his real view. Bryan called Triple H as narrow minded and misguided as Vince McMahon. Hunter has gone from the rebel in the leather jacket to the sell out in a suit, who thumbs his rather large nose at the WWE Universe. Orton told him he needed to remember who he was speaking to, and show both of them some respect. Orton proclaimed to be the face of the WWE. Bryan interrupted and vowed at Night of Champions that face is going to be rearranged, as was Triple H's vision of the WWE. Crowd chanted "YES". "Sweet little fantasy Jimminy Cricket" fired back Triple H, who then BURST INTO SONG - "When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are". Hunter said in the real world, it makes all the difference in the world. Bryan is not an A player, rather nothing more than a B at best. Hunter said if he wants to prove himself, he'll give himself an opportunity to live his little fantasy, as Bryan will be going one-on-one with Seth Rollins. And then if he makes it past Dean Ambrose, he'll then have to face Roman Reigns. Triple H told Bryan he was giving him the gift that keeps on giving. Triple H sarcastically told Bryan he believes in him, and also believes in what is best for business. BOW DOWN TO THE GAME filled the arena once more.
The commentators talked some more about the HUGE RATINGS. Which are...the same as normal.
They recapped the brawl Punk had with Axel last week.
They announced the fans could choose the stipulation for Punk's match with Curtis Axel tonight. The options were A) Heyman banned from ringside B) Heyman as Guest Referee and finally C) if Punk wins, Heyman has to step into the ring with him. The option is so obvious, why bother...
Damien Sandow was on commentary, with the briefcase.
Match 1: Fandango (w/Summer Rae) vs. Cody Rhodes ended in Disqualification after about a minute when Fandango's music started playing and The Miz, wearing Fandango's tights, came out and danced with Rosa Mendes. Sandow ran in and attacked Rhodes, followed by The Miz, and all four men got into it.
Teddy LongBrad Maddox came out and made it a tag team match.
Match 2: The Miz - who is now sporting a haircut of a child - and Cody Rhodes defeated Fandango and Damien Sandow when Miz pinned Sandow with the Skull Crushing Finale. Fandango walked out on the match.
Fandango took the microphone on the stage and proclaimed that "It's Fan...DANG....go". During the match Lawler said Rosa Mendas was dancing on the outside like Miley Cyrus. She wasn't, fortunately. And even if she was, her arse is infinitely better. Then again, so would be a bent ruler.
Los Matadores vignette.
Christian was asked about the direction of the WWE by Josh Mathews. Christian said it seems like any time someone says something about this new regime, they suffer dire consequences. Christian said he was around during the Attitude era and remembered the McMahon-Helmsley era, and he still has the battle scars to prove it. He said those that don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it. Orton turned up and said history is going to repeat itself, as just like SummerSlam, he's going to win & Christian is going to lose. Christian said Triple H likes to play with sledgehammers, and it seems like he's found himself a new tool to play with. Orton told him he'd see him in the ring.
Michael Cole showed everyone how to use the Tout App. Apparently Paul Heyman had posted something.
Renee Young interviewed Punk on the WWE App. He said he wasn't going to attempt to try and sway the audience, but if they want Heyman in a ref shirt then "more power to them", but he wanted Heyman in the ring.
Heyman and Curtis Axel were in their locker room. Heyman said Punk was like a deranged politician begging for votes. Heyman was upset that the WWE were going to subject his health to the whims of the audience. Axel told him not to worry as he had this. Axel asked if Heyman believed in him. Heyman responded by saying like his life depended on it.
I opened a bag of Frisps. Haven't eaten these in a while...
Jerry Lawler revealed to the Live crowd 81% had voted for option C on the App. Michael Cole laughed his head off.
Match 3: CM Punk pinned WWE Intercontinental Champion Curtis Axel in a non-title match with the GTS.
Per the stipulations, Punk now got Heyman alone in the ring. However before he could do so, Heyman made his exit backstage...but was promptly ushered back out by two referees. Punk left the ring and headed up the ramp, but Heyman made his escape backstage once more...only to be dragged back out by multiple security. In the ring, Punk was about to take out Heyman in the corner but was nailed by Curtis Axel with a low blow. With Punk down, Heyman pulled out a pair of handcuffs from his pocket and slapped them on Punk. Heyman began goading Punk, who managed to get to his feet and knocked out Axel with a kick to the head. He then went to work putting the boots to Heyman. Axel returned and hit him in the back with a chair. Axel then grabbed a Kendo stick from under the ring and passed it to Heyman, who then went to town beating the hell out of Punk. Heyman repeatedly shouted at Punk that he loved him and that he had fathered him. Heyman continued wailing away on Punk out in front of the announce table. After the brutal beating, Heyman was shown visibly upset at his actions.
After the break, Punk was shown walking back up the ramp still handcuffed, his back covered in blood.
JoJo was announced special guest ring announcer by Justin Roberts.
Match 4: Brie Bella (w/Nikki and whatever the red head is called) pinned Natalya (w/The Funkadactyls) off the X-Factor in a crappy match that went just over a minute.
WWE Divas' Champion AJ Lee came out on the stage and totally buried Total Divas and everyone in and around the ring to such an extent the crowd broke out into a loud "AJ" chant. AJ Lee told them that she didn't get where she is in the WWE because she came from a famous wrestling family or SUCKED...up to the right people (she meant COCK), but because she is good. AJ called them a bunch of cheap, interchangeable, useless women who have turned to reality TV because they aren't good-enough to be actresses or WWE Divas' champion. This was a GREAT burial of an entire, shitty division, which turned her Face in the eyes of the crowd. Made everyone in the ring look like worthless gooseberry fool. To add further insult, JBL on commentary said "crazy just spoke some truth."
Ricardo introduced RVD. This doesn't work at all.
Match 5: RVD pinned Alberto Del Rio with a roll-up. Del Rio was distracted by Ricardo, who was cheer-leading on the announce table.
It was announced on commentary RVD would get a title shot at Del Rio in 3 weeks on PPV.
They re-aired hightlights of John Cena's promo last week that opened RAW. They removed the bit where everyone cheered that he'd be out 6 months.
Josh Mathews interviewed "The Big Guy" Ryback. Crowd chanted "Goldberg". WWE appeared to turn the audio down. Ryback grabbed Josh around the neck and mouth and bullied him, shoving him to the floor.
They re-aired the Punk beat-down from earlier.
Heyman was walking backstage with Axel when Renee Young caught up with them both. Heyman had bloodshot eyes, having obviously been crying. Heyman told Renee that Punk is like a petulant child that needs to keep being punished. Heyman said he feels like a man that put a prodigal son in his place, beaten by his own father figure. Both of them then left in their car.
Match 6: In a non-title match, and for what feels like the 400th time, WWE Champion Randy Orton pinned Christian off a thumb to the eye and an RKO. Good match, but you've seen it all before. Christian had a very nasty fall onto the ring apron. Was brutal as hell.
Stone Cold Bryan appeared on the Tron, sitting on Randy Orton's new car. He'd spray painted "Yes" repeatedly all over it in orange. Cole joked it was now a Cadillac Yescalade. Randy Orton was left enraged in the ring. This night isn't going to end well again for Bryan...
Brad Maddox, Randy Orton and Triple H were all looking at the vandalised car. Triple H demanded Maddox march every Superstar and Diva out to the stage tonight, as they're all going to watch Bryan's match. Anyone that interferes is going to get personally fired - every single last one of them. Orton then told Triple H Bryan was going to pay for his actions.
Zeb Colter came out and cut a promo. Zeb told benefit scum that "if you can't feed them, don't breed them".
Match 7: Titus O'Neil (w/Darren Young) pinned Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Colter and Antonio Cesaro).
Brey Wyatt cut a promo lifted from WWE.com.
They recapped the opening segment, and then of Bryan destroying the car.
Punk was in Maddox's office demanding a match with Paul Heyman. Maddox gave him Heyman and Axel in an elimination match at Night of Champions. If Heyman tries to escape, we'll never see him again.
The locker room emptied out onto the stage. Renee Young attempted to interview the various Superstars on the stage. None of them said a damn thing.
Main Event - Gauntlet Match
Match 1: Daniel Bryan defeated Seth Rollins with what I presume was a knee to the face because Dunn was too busy filming the crowd (who were going crazy) and MISSED THE strawberry floating FINISH.
Match 2: Daniel Bryan defeated Dean Ambrose by Disqualification when Roman Reigns ran in and put the beating on Daniel Bryan.
All 3 Shield members entered the ring and destroyed Bryan, giving him the Triple Power Bomb. Triple H came out on stage, and faced off with an increasingly agitated Big Show. Randy Orton came out, and then headed into the ring. As The Shield picked up a lifeless Bryan, Orton gave him the RKO. The crowd chanted for "Big Show", as Orton and Triple H left, leaving The Shield to stand tall over a dismantled Daniel Bryan to take RAW off the air!
- Joined in 2008
- Location: Botswana
WWE RAW is 3 Hours of the McMahons Results 2nd September 2013 wrote:
Location: Wells Fargo Arena; Des Moines, IA
Commentators: Michael Cole, John "Bradshaw" Layfield and Jerry "The King" Lawler
The final RAW before the NFL Season crashes the party kicked off with COO Triple H in the ring. He immedieatly introduced "the face of the company" WWE Champion Randy Orton. Members of The Shield were once again surrounding the ring. Michael Cole noted on commentary he had spoken to one anonymous superstar who had told him the past 7 days in the locker room has been a "Reign of Terror". Orton opened by saying, as the face of the WWE, protecting the company was his number one priority. Therefore, anyone that disrespects him, disrespects all of WWE. Crowd chanted "No!". Orton said that last week, Bryan defaced his new car, so he had no choice but to deface Daniel Bryan. Orton then played Bryan's Yes/No game with the crowd. Orton first asked the crowd if Bryan should receive a Championship match at Night of Champions. Crowd chanted "Yes!", Orton said "No!" Orton asked whether Bryan has the slightest chance of defeating him at Night of Champions. Crowd said Yes...Orton said No. Orton questioned whether Bryan will ever amount to anything in WWE. Crowd said Yes. Orton said No. Worked this one out yet? Finally, Orton asked if Bryan should give up his chance at NOC? Yes from the crowd, and another No from Orton. Triple H then took the microphone once more and told everyone that as COO, it was his responsibility to put on the best product each and every week, as that's what we all deserve. Hunter said his other job is to ensure the health and well-being of all the Superstars. With that in mind, he said he's been worried about the health of Daniel Bryan, whose ego keeps getting him into bad situations. Hunter told the crowd that they were not helping because Bryan looks around and all he sees is them standing up, throwing their arms in the air, and chanting, "Yes!" HHH said that was a problem, as they are causing Daniel Bryan to confuse popularity with what is best for business. One similar example from a few years ago was a wrestler named Doink the Clown. Hunter said Doink was wildly popular and everyone loved him, but there was a big reason he was never WWE Champion, and that's because it would have been bad for business. Hunter said he could come up with other goals for Bryan to achieve in WWE - Hunter mockingly stated they could bring back the Cruiserweight or European Championships, because those are 'good, little goals'. Daniel Bryan interrupted on the stage. JBL said there's the next Cruiserweight Champion. Bryan said, while he is thrilled to be compared to Doink the Clown, he's not sure there was a loud Doink chant in 1992 and that the only clowns he sees right now are the two standing in the ring. Bryan said he understands that Hunter wants him to give up his Championship match, as Hunter gave up being a man when he cut his hair, put on a suit, and became a corporate sell-out. Bryan then wondered whether Orton was more masculine than Stephanie McMahon. "No!" being the response to that. Orton was all angry, until Hunter interrupted and called Bryan a short, angry troll. He said he shouldn't be angry at the both of them, but rather one man - The Big Show, who, despite having an iron-clad contract, just stands by with a tear in his eye while Bryan gets beaten up. Triple H announced Bryan would take on Big Show in tonight's main event.
Triple H and Randy Orton were walking backstage joking that Big Show was probably off in a corner somewhere crying. They bumped into Cody Rhodes. They shook hands. Rhodes said it was good for business for Orton to defend the Championship against Bryan. Triple H said last time he checked he was deciding what was best for business, and that Rhodes' view was probably clouded and he no doubt had a lot on his mind, what with a wedding coming up (guess everyone just forgot to notify us). HHH asked Orton if he had an invitation. Orton replied and said he hadn't. Hunter said he didn't get one either. Hunter made a match with Randy Orton tonight, and then told Cody if he didn't win, he wouldn't be with the company much longer.
Match 1: The Miz defeated Fandango (w/Summer Rae) with a shitty, shitty, shitty Figure Four. During the match, Fandango apparently broke his nose.
Bryan was preparing backstage in his locker room when Booker T walked in. Booker told Bryan that going against the McMahon's is not in his best interest, and that he should consider giving up his title match. Bryan responded by saying Booker's catchphrase, before saying this wasn't about money, but his own life. Booker said he was behind him, but he needed to tread lightly.
They recapped the Punk/Heyman segment from last week.
Dolph Ziggler came out. Following the commercial break, he was ambushed by Dean Ambrose in the ring and sent into the corner turnbuckle. Ambrose told Ziggler he needed to learn to respect the business.
Match 2: Ryback pinned Dolph Ziggler off the Shellshock in a quick match. Crowd loudly chanted "Goldberg" and "You can't wrestle".
Stephanie and Triple H were in their office looking on approvingly of Ryback's actions when RAW General Manager Brad Maddox walked in. He said Big Show was refusing to fight Daniel Bryan tonight. Brad pointed Stephanie in the direction of Big Show's locker-room. Stephanie walked off, but not before telling Brad this wasn't going to be a private affair. Triple H smiled as we headed to break.
Stephanie McMahon made her way to the ring. I'm bored of the McMahon's already. Stephanie said she would like to introduce someone who helped teach her a lot of life lessons along the way growing up in the business. Out came Big Show to the ring. They hugged. Stephanie said she's the 12-year-old girl who Show helped out back in the day. Funny, I don't remember Stephanie being 12 in 1999. Stephanie heard Big Show didn't want to face Bryan. Stephanie said Big Show is broke, having made poor investments, something about a STRIP MALL going belly-up, and that he now has nothing. Steph said his iron clad contract is only if he performs, otherwise he is in breach. Stephanie told Show that he has no other alternatives to WWE. 'What are you going to be, the world's largest gas attendant?' Steph asked Show if he was really going to risk his career for one match? Stephanie then said giants don't usually live as long as other people, so he needs to think about his family. Big Show was blubbering. Steph said she was sorry he was hurting, but the only person hurting more was her. She then hugged him. Someone in the crowd shouted "Horse gooseberry fool" as she left. Then they started chanting "Y2J" & "Cody's moustache". This was atrocious as nobody believed it.
Big Show was shown smashing up stuff backstage.
Match 3: Titus O'Neil defeated 3MB in a match where everyone except me changed the channel.
They announced Edge will return to RAW next week from Canada.
Brad Maddox was on the phone in his office when Heyman walked in and told Maddox to "call him back". Heyman was angry Maddox put him in a match at NOC. Hunter walked in. Triple H said he approved that match. Heyman asked why. Hunter said he's a huge fan, having watched Heyman manage to weasel his way out of every situation. Hunter said he doesn't see an out of this situation. Triple H said Punk might give Heyman the beating he so richly deserves. Triple H was a complete Face in this segment for those wondering.
Some promo from the Wyatt's on Kane. Just magic up some rambling nonsensical bollocks in your head.
Match 4: Randy Orton pinned Cody Rhodes off an RKO in an apparent Loser Leaves Town match. Crowd were really into it in the closing 5 minutes.
Randy Orton celebrated on the stage. MCMAHON-O-MANIA continued as Triple H made his 9000th appearance of the night. Hunter said while he respects him, this is business. He has to do what is right for everyone in the locker room. Triple H then fired him. The commentators contemplated what Rhodes does now, especially with a wedding coming up. Crowd chanted "Cody Rhodes" to head to break.
CM Punk came out to the ring carrying a Kendo Stick. Punk promised no more empty threats, and no more talking...while continuing to talk. He said everything he needed to say had been heard. Here he is dressed to compete, but he isn't going to wrestle, he wants to fight Paul Heyman. And if he has to fight Axel to do it then so be it. He would fight them right now but he knows they wouldn't come out. I thought he said he was done talking. Punk said he wasn't going to convince anyone of the biblical ass beating he's going to give Heyman, rather he has something to say to the audience watching RAW tonight. Punk said he guarantees he's going to get past Axel and get his hands on Paul Heyman, and that if we order Night of Champions - which we're not - we're all going to see a new side to CM Punk, and that we may not like it. Last week Heyman said Punk broke his heart, but at night of champions he's going to break Heyman's face.
They recapped the Punk/Heyman/Axel segment from last week again.
As the backstage shenanigans continued, Big Show told Bryan that he didn't want to do this, but he's under a lot of pressure. Bryan said he doesn't care, as he does what he has to do no matter what obstacles WWE throw in his way. Show asked Bryan if he had seen what happened to Cody Rhodes earlier tonight, as things are getting real around here. Show said he was in a no win situation. Bryan said yes he was, as he was going to beat Show tonight just like he did for his first Championship. Bryan then walked off leaving Show standing there looking sad. Bryan was totally unsympathetic to Big Show's apparent plight, and the crowd were silent.
WWE Rewind with AJ Lee from last week.
AJ Lee came out and inserted herself on commentary.
Match 5: Natalya vs. Naomi vs. Brie Bella in a Number 1 Contender's match for the Divas' Championship ended in a No Contest when AJ Lee ran in. They then all beat up AJ Lee and left together. This whole thing was a pile of gooseberry fool.
Ricardo came out and introduced Number 1 Contender to the World Championship RrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrVD.
Match 6: RVD pinned Damien Sandow with the Five Star Frog Splash. Alberto Del Rio came out on the ramp and raised the belt. Crowd were massively into RVD throughout the match.
MCMAHON-O-MANIA rumbled on as Stephanie and the Divas were in the office arguing about AJ Lee. Stephanie ended up making a Fatal Four Way for the Divas' title at Night of Champions. This aired "exclusively" on the App. Except we just saw it all again right here.
They ra-aired Triple H firing Cody Rhodes from earlier.
Security were escorting Cody Rhodes out of the building when Josh Mathews turned up to ask if he had any parting words. Rhodes said for 2 decades the McMahon's have hated the Rhodes: Dusty lit Florida on fire, then the McMahon's put him in polka-dots and made him dance. Then, WWE put his brother, "The Natural," in gold paint and he's never been the same since. Josh asked Rhodes if he's talked to his fiancée since being fired. Rhodes just stared at him, before leaving through the exit.
The roster made their way out onto the stage again.
Main Event: Big Show vs. Daniel Bryan ended in a No Contest when Big Show walked out and refused to give Bryan the Knock Out punch. Throughout the match Show was begging Bryan not to do this, as he didn't want to fight him. However Bryan refused to heed Show's advice, and repeatedly kept charging at him. Crowd spent most of the match muted, only popping for Bryan's repeated "Yes!" kicks.
The Triple H show continued as his music then hit and he made his way out with The Shield. The Shield then put the beating on Bryan yet again and gave him the Triple Power Bomb. Big Show ran back into the ring but was held back by Triple H. As The Shield picked up a completely lifeless Bryan, Hunter ordered Show to give Bryan the KO punch or be fired. A weeping Show couldn't do it however, and he left the ring.
Before he could make his way to the back however, Stephanie McMahon interrupted and told Show to do what is best for his family. She then led Show back into the ring, as The Shield once more picked up Bryan. After some cajoling, Big Show Knocked Out Bryan. Stephanie and Triple H both told an upset Show than he did the right thing. Randy Orton came out and got into the ring. After rolling Bryan's limp body over onto his back, he put his foot on his chest and raised the WWE Championship, to take RAW off the air, leaving Bryan destroyed...for the 6th straight show.
This show SUCKED.
- Joined in 2008
- Location: Botswana
WWE RAW Results September 9th 2013 wrote:
Location: Air Canada Centre; Toronto, Ontario
Commentators: Michael Cole, John “Bradshaw” Layfield and Jerry “Heart attack” Lawler
With Night of Champions 6 days away, RAW from Bizarro Land kicked off with Edge making his return to WWE to a gigantic reaction. Edge welcomed everyone to the Cutting Edge. He said he was requested by the COO Triple H to be here tonight because it'd be "good for business". Hunter thought it would be good to come out here for a reunion - not with Christian - but with his former partner in Team RKO, Randy Orton. Edge said he's known Orton for a long time, and he has absolutely nothing interesting to say, and is like watching paint dry. Edge said while he has no issue with Orton cashing in, Orton has become Hunter's lackey, and needs The Shield to fight his battles for him. So he's decided Orton won't be his guest tonight. Crowd broke out into a "Yes!" chant. Instead his guest would be, who else, Daniel Bryan. Bryan made his way out. They recapped the conclusion to last week's RAW. Crowd loudly chanted "Daniel Bryan". Bryan said he's been through a lot, but it helps with so many people chanting your name. Bryan said there's a satisfaction in the struggle, as no matter how many times he gets beaten up or Triple H tries to hold him down, he will beat Randy Orton, and will once again win the WWE Championship. Edge said that's why people like him, and that, while he doesn't know if he can beat Orton, he deserves a fair shot at doing so. Edge then asked Bryan a series of questions on whether Bryan could win Sunday. Bryan responded with "Yes", until he was interrupted by Randy Orton on the stage. Orton told Edge that it was a shame that the only people that give a crap about him are in Canada, and what a shame it was that his body failed him at such a young age. Crowd told Randy he sucked. Edge said it's a shame he's supposed to be the face of the WWE yet acts like a completely different body part. And while he might have an injured spine, at least he has one. Edge then said Triple H sucks at picking out talent. This immediately brought out The King Of Kings to the stage. Triple H told Edge he thought he'd give him an opportunity to say it to his face. Edge responded by reminding Hunter that he didn't think he could make it, just as he didn't think Chris Jericho, or "vanilla ice wannabe" John Cena could either. He knows HHH's nose is huge, but sometimes he has to look past it. Hunter said he had secured a large sum to promote Edge's TV show tonight; 'Haven on SyFy Friday nights at 10pm right after SmackDown!'. Hunter said now that the promotional considerations were out of the way, he could respond. HHH admitted that while he's been wrong a few times, such as with Jericho and Cena, time would tell on Bryan. However he was definitely right about one guy, that being Edge. Triple H claimed that while we can pretend tonight as we're in Canada, the little experiment called the Rated R Superstar was an abject failure who never drew a dime. Hunter said all people have to do is prove him wrong, so with that being said, he then announced Bryan would have that opportunity once again tonight as he'll face Dean Ambrose in the main event, and to make it fair he's going to give him someone in his corner: Big Show. Triple H claimed he wasn't a dictator. Crowd called Triple H an "asshole". Yes, it's back. Edge retorted by saying he didn't have to marry into his success (erm, he married GM Vickie Guerrero), and earned his Hall of Fame ring. Triple H isn't a dictator...rather just a dick. Hunter responded by once again going after Edge's "stack of dimes for a neck", saying while he can’t hurt Edge, he can hurt the ones Edge cares about. The Shield then dragged out a battered and unconscious Christian and dumped him onto the ramp. Edge demanded they get help as we headed to commercial.
Triple H and Stephanie were in their office saying "he never saw it coming" when Edge stormed in. The Shield stepped in the way. Edge said he wishes doctors would clear him so that he can fight Hunter. Triple H told Edge that his 'little stack of dimes neck is broken up', and how dare he confront him in his town, on his show, and in his building. Triple H then demanded Edge leave the building or be escorted out by The Shield.
Match 1: Kofi Kingston defeated Intercontinental champion Curtis Axel (w/Paul Heyman) via Disqualification in a non-title bout when Axel refused to stop kneeing Kofi in the corner before the count of 5.
After the match Paul Heyman, realising what this would mean were this to be repeated on Sunday, told Axel this couldn't happen again. Axel responded by saying it wouldn't, before heading off to continue his assault on Kingston. However Kofi fought back and nailed him with Trouble in Paradise, as Heyman looked on in despair. Heyman then exited the ring, appearing to twist his ankle jumping off the ring apron.
A video aired hyping the return of Goldust later tonight.
Paul Heyman appeared to have slipped on some water in the hallway, and was shown being helped to the trainers room by Curtis Axel and a referee. Heyman refused to see the WWE doctor, saying he had his own. Axel asked the referee who put the water there, but he didn't know.
They recapped last week's main event.
Big Show was in his locker room when Booker T walked in (just why is Booker T travelling all over the place). He said he would have done the exact same thing last week. The People might want him to be a hero, but Show needs to think about his family. Booker told him that he shouldn't let his pride dictate his actions, rather to be a professional. Show said pride was all he had left...
A Wyatt Family video package aired.
Match 2: Bray Wyatt (w/The Wyatt Family) pinned Dolph Ziggler with Sister Abigail.
They aired a video highlighting Booker T's humorous relationship with Goldust.
Paul Heyman came out on crutches with his Doctor and Curtis Axel. Jerry Lawler wasn't convinced. Heyman said he was "Not an advocate of socialised medicine," therefore doesn't believe in Canada's national health service. Heyman said whenever he travels to Canada he brings his own Doctor from New York. Crowd chanted "we don't care". Heyman said because of an accident, he's incapable of competing at Night of Champions, and no one is more upset about it than him. Brad Maddox came out with the WWE Doctor, and reminded Heyman their Doctors are more than qualified to assess his injuries. If he is truly injured, the only way to be officially removed from the match is by being evaluated by their doctor. Dr. Sampson - who legitimately saved Lawler's life - told Heyman to sit in the chair in the ring and be checked out. Someone in the crowd shouted "this is like gooseberry fool!" & "This is awkward", before finally asking for "CM Punk". After checking Heyman's leg, Sampson said he thinks there's nothing wrong with him. This led to CM Punk coming out and sprinting to the ring with a Kendo stick in hand, promptly taking out Heyman's Doctor and Axel. Heyman immediately sprinted out of the building and through the crowd, leaving Punk to beat up the 'Doctor' with the Kendo stick. This was straight out of the Steve Austin play book.
AJ Lee came out for commentary. She had a pop at Lawler, saying she's 26 thus far too old for him. Lawler responded by saying she's too ugly for him anyway. She mentioned her tattoo on the neck, which also got a bemused reaction...
Match 3: Natalya, Brie Bella and Naomi defeated Layla, Aksana and Alicia Fox.
Another history package aired on Goldust. Clearly getting the under 10's up to speed.
RVD cut an 80s inset-promo vowing victory.
Match 4: World Champion Alberto Del Rio tapped out world's worst rapper R-Truth with the Cross Arm Breaker in a non-title match. Crowd were so interested they chanted for "JBL", "Jerry Lawler", "Michael Cole", "RVD" and "Un-der-taker". Yes, the NFL is on the other side.
3MB vs. Sweet T and Brodus Clay vs. Antonio Cesaro and Jack Swagger vs. The Usos vs. Prime Time Players in a Number 1 Contenders Tag Team Turmoil match was announced for Night of Champions Kick Off, with the winners facing The Shield later in the night for the Tag Team Championship.
Zeb Colter cut a quick promo slagging off Canada and hockey.
Match 4: A returning Santino Marella pinned Antonio Cesaro. There was a great whirlybird swing spot in the match where Cesaro grabbed Santino's legs and spun him round about 10 times, garnering a loud "holy gooseberry fool" chant, which was surprisingly acknowledged by the commentators. Match was nothing special at all, but the crowd were massively into everything, elevating it into highly enjoyable territory.
Damien Sandow was in the ring and cut a quick promo that was interrupted by Miz. Crowd naturally cheered for Sandow.
Match 5: Damien Sandow rolled up The Miz when Fandango and Summer Rae came out on the stage and distracted Miz. Crowd chanted for "Randy Savage" and "Y2J".
Renee Young interviewed Goldust backstage. He said it was no secret that he is the screw up of the family, and that he's messed up all his chances with the WWE, but Triple H throwing his weight around and firing Cody Rhodes wasn't right. As Goldust was about to say his catchphrase, Triple H turned up and said he hopes he doesn't let Cody and his soon-to-be wife down, saying his has the weight of the world on his shoulders right now.
Match 6: WWE Champion Randy Orton defeated Goldust with the Diamond Cutter in a non-title match. There was a lot of visible spot calling in this match.
After the match, Orton stood over Goldust and said his dreams were shattered just like Daniel Bryan's will be Sunday.
Goldust was shown walking through the hallway when Stephanie McMahon approached him. She said he must be so disappointed, as he's let Cody, his whole family and the WWE Universe down. Stephanie then called him a loser, and he can now join the unemployment line with his brother. Steph asked Goldust to say hi to his Dad, as Goldust walked away sobbing up the corridor.
Del Rio came out and called RVD a washed up loser and Ricardo a peasant.
Match 7: RVD (w/Ricardo) beat Ryback by Disqualification in an abysmal encounter when Ryback ran RVD crotch first into the ring post. After the match, Ryback delivered Shellshock and left RVD laying. One of RVD's ridiculously stiff kicks led Ryback to audibly and loudly say "gooseberry fool" at one point, and appeared to piss him off a bit.
Stephanie McMahon approached Big Show backstage, telling Show that if he touched The Shield tonight he'll be fired. Show then smashed up a TV from 1995.
The commentators were seemingly discussing a commercial announcing Edge will be on SmackDown Friday.
Jerry Lawler noted on commentary the airline had lost his luggage, thus the plain WWE T-Shirt.
Main Event: Daniel Bryan (w/Big Show) defeated Dean Ambrose (w/The Shield) with a roll-up. After the match, Randy Orton came out and both men briefly got into it in the aisle-way, before The Shield once again put the boots to Bryan. Big Show made his way around ringside with a chair, but after some consideration, put the chair down. Orton rolled Bryan back into the ring and gave him an RKO. Stephanie and Hunter made their way onto the ramp and demanded Show deliver another Knock Out punch to Bryan. In the ring, Orton picked up a limp Bryan and demanded Big Show punch him. Show refused. Orton chucked Bryan to the mat and went to confront Big Show. As they jaw jacked and Orton berated Show, upon turning around Bryan managed to muster enough to hit a running knee. As Show walked off up the ramp smirking, Bryan held up the Championship and shouted "Yes!" to take RAW off the air.
- Joined in 2008
- Location: Botswana
WWE RAW Results September 16th 2013 wrote:
Location: Quicken Loans Arena; Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, John "Bradshaw" Layfield and Jerry "The King" Lawler
The show opened with new WWE Champion Daniel Bryan making his way out to an enormous ovation. Crowd were losing their gooseberry fool at this. Bryan said he had a lot of things to say, but what said it best was simply "Yes!". This immediately brought out a pissed off Triple H. Hunter told Bryan that before he went down the road of congratulating himself, he wanted to address the big elephant in the room, and that was last night's fast count by the referee. Hunter said he wanted to bring the official Scott Armstrong to the ring. Armstrong made his way out. Hunter had the truck put footage of his normal count up on the Tron. They then aired more footage from last night's main event again, just to be clear. Then they aired the final 3 count, followed by both counts side-by-side. Hunter demanded an explanation. Scott admitted "it was a fast count, I don't know". Amstrong told Triple H he had simply made a mistake. Triple H, unconvinced, said that he's the Senior official, and that a fast count doesn't just happen. Hunter told him that he's never seen him make a mistake like that in the 15 years he's known him, therefore didn't feel like he was being told the whole truth. Armstrong then whispered something to Bryan, as if to say the game was up and they'd both been found out. Bryan pleaded ignorance to the whole thing. Hunter said he was ashamed of Daniel Bryan, and he had embarrassed himself and the WWE. He said he was holding the WWE Championship up and was stripping Bryan of the Championship. Hunter said while he can understand his anger, as of right now there is no WWE champion. Triple H demanded Bryan hand over the belt or he was going to take it from him. HHH told Bryan once more he had disgraced himself and his family. Hunter reminded Bryan Shawn Michaels had taught him better than this. Bryan refused to hand it over. This brought out an enraged Randy Orton to the ring. Hunter said he had this under control and told Orton to back off. Crowd chanted "No!". Bryan refused once again to hand the strap over. As Bryan and HHH then began tussling over the belt, Randy Orton nailed Bryan with an RKO. Triple H took the belt and headed to the back, leaving Orton to stand over Bryan in the ring.
Backstage, Stephanie McMahon was talking with Triple H when a livid Randy Orton interjected and demanded his Championship back. Stephanie stepped in and shouted at Orton, telling him who the hell does he think he's talking to, as that's the C.O.O of the WWE. She told him after last night he deserved to the lose the title. She asked what happened to the Randy Orton of old, the Orton who had no remorse..the "SICK BASTARD" who handcuffed Triple H and then gave her a DDT. She said until he finds that Randy Orton again, they may have to find a new face of WWE. Steph stormed off, as Hunter said that's the guy they're looking for.
Match 1: In a rematch from Night of Champions, Dolph Ziggler defeated United States Champion Dean Ambrose with the ZigZag in a non-title match.
An unimpressed Big Show was staring at Brad Mad in his office, as Brad paced back and forth. Brad said the McMahon's would be there in a moment. The boom microphone was very briefly in shot.
Back from break, Brad and Triple H were talking in their office, and made Roman Reigns vs. Daniel Bryan for later tonight. Brad applauded Triple H's decision on the WWE title. Brad then told Stephanie Dusty Rhodes had arrived in the building. Stephanie turned her attention to Big Show, telling him she hoped the suspension on SmackDown hurt. She reminded him that the unemployment line is long, so he needs to stay in the office tonight and stay out of trouble - unless he is needed, in which case she'll call.
Match 2: Fandango (w/Summer Rae) beat R-Truth with a Leg Drop off the top. After the match the crowd Fandango'ed.
Dusty Rhodes was shown talking backstage with a load of people, including but not limited to The Prime Time Players, Natalya and Booker T.
Dusty Rhodes came out to a respectful ovation. He looked old, which was kind of sad to see. Crowd then broke out into a "Dusty" chant. Dusty said he appreciated that, but he wasn't here as Dusty but as "Virgil Runnels". Some idiots attempted to give him the dreaded "What?" treatment.
Dusty said this wasn't about him, but about Cody's job. Rhodes said he saw a suffering young man lose his job. Dusty questioned "What the hell is good for business?". Dusty said having two sons that he loves is what's good for business. He said he wasn't going to beg for Cody's job, rather for him to earn his job back. He said whatever that proposal was from Stephanie McMahon, for her to drag those long legs out and "get with it". Stephanie came out clapping, and said that was beautiful. She told "Vergil" that was remarkable. It's a shoot, brother. She apologised if Cody's predicament cast a shadow over the wedding. She passed a small card to him for something called Bed Bath and Beyond, which he threw away. Son of a plumber, daughter of a genius. Stephanie said she would like to offer Cody his job back...or to Goldust. She told Dusty that only one spot was open, and she was leaving the decision to Dusty. Dusty said he wasn't going to make that choice. Stephanie told him that he could give it to his younger son, or the son he neglected all those years in Goldust. She said it was always about Dusty and his decision at the expense of his family, and that he was leaving them behind just as he has always done. Dusty, in Bash at the Beach 96 mode, told Stephanie she could go "Straight to hell". She said he was sorry he felt that way, which then brought out The Shield through the crowd. Stephanie said she had someone waiting in the back to even things out and make things more fair. Stephanie asked Big Show to come to the ring. She said as Dusty was incapable of making a choice between his sons, he could instead choose to get dismantled by The Shield with steel chairs or be punched in the face by Big Show. Rhodes had no answer, so Stephanie demanded Big Show knock him out. Big Show burst into tears again. As Stephanie then told The Shield to beat him up, Big Show stepped in. With The Shield surrounding Dusty with chairs, Show said sorry and punched Rhodes in the face, and then grabbed him, letting him gently collapse to the canvas. As Stephanie smiled like the wicked witch of the west, Big Show the sap knelt beside a motionless Dusty as Medics came in and stretchered Rhodes out. The entire babyface roster constantly look like such pathetic cowards I'm rooting for the return of Stone Cold Steve Austin to come out and KICK EVERYBODY'S ASS. It's like everyone has lost their balls on this show at the moment.
Back from break, Rhodes was shown being loaded into an ambulance. Show got into the ambulance with Rhodes, as various hangers on from the roster saw them off.
AJ Lee and Natalya were on commentary. Natalya's headset was broken, so Lawler had to give her his. She had nothing of interest to say anyway. Bradshaw buried AJ Lee's neck tattoo again.
Match 3: Six Divas Tag match. Brie picked up the win. Naomi's arse was the match.
Natalya and AJ Lee faced off at the announce table, with AJ Lee holding the Divas title above her head.
Miz and RAW GM Brad Maddox were discussing something backstage.
They recapped the Dusty segment.
Ricardo Rodriguez introduced RVD.
Match 4: RVD (w/Ricardo) defeated Damien Sandow with the Five Star Frog Splash in under 3 minutes. In a move straight out of TNA, they then played Sandow's theme music.
They announced Randy Orton will face The Miz next.
Triple H told Scott Armstrong in his office that because of his actions he needed to hold the title in a state of "abeyance" (buzzword of the night). He then fired him, much to the apparent surprise of Armstrong. As Armstrong attempted to get his point across, Hunter butted in and told Scott that he would get a nice severance package, and repeatedly reiterated that he would "look after him".
The Miz came out, and hugged his parents who were at ringside. Randy Oton then came out and destroyed him, running Miz into the stairs and beating him down before referee's came down. The parents looked on...concerned. Well, concerned ish. They probably hate him too.
Match 5: Randy Orton vs. The Miz ended in a double Count-Out after about 2 minutes.
After the match, Randy Orton threw Miz over the announce table and continued beating him up in front of his parents. This became unintentionally funny, as while Miz's Mum was getting visibly upset at all this, Miz's Dad had the same gormless expression on his face the entire time. Randy Orton then chucked Miz back in the ring, wedged a chair between his head and neck, and nailed Miz with a running knee to the chair, killing him. Medical entered the ring for the second time tonight.
Ryback came out, followed by Curtis Axel pushing Heyman in a wheel chair. Heyman took the microphone, smiling, and said he was the best in the world. He said envy is one of the 7 deadly sins, and we know how many heathens there are in Cleveland, with their insignificant accomplishments compared to what he's achieved; for example not one of them can make the statement 'they pinned CM Punk'. Heyman claimed the best part was the record books will forever give testimony to the first time in history he and Punk came face-to-face the winner of the match was Paul Heyman. And even more significantly than that, the loser of the match was everyone's hero, CM Punk. Crowd chanted "Walrus". Heyman said Punk had him dead to rights at NOC, a beating so heinous, he's now confined to a wheel chair. Heyman claimed that last night was perhaps the most viscous beating in WWE history (oh come on...), and it was a miracle he wasn't some vegetable rotting away in a nursing home (nice...). One man stood up, when all other Paul Heyman guys sat back and hoped he'd get the beating he deserved. Heyman said he was here tonight and would continue to torment Punk and everyone because of Ryback. Heyman claimed he owes his life to him. Ryback took the mic and said if it's one thing he can't stand it's a bully. Crowd chanted "Goldberg". Ryback said he didn't like a single thing about Punk. He got the "What?" treatment. Ryback told Paul he never had to worry again. They then kissed, which got the crowd going "OHHHH!"
They re-aired Heyman kissing Ryback on the cheek. Have to be specific about these things.
Match 6: The Usos defeated Jack Swagger (sporting a diabolical haircut) and Antonio Cesaro and Tons Of Funk in a Number 1 Contender's Tag Team Elimination match when Jay Uso pinned Jack Swagger off a Splash off the top. Crowd started chanting "JBL", "Jerry Lawler", a very mild "Michael Cole" and "Randy Savage". Yes, this has now become a thing.
The commentators noted Miz had suffered a damaged thorax, whereas Dusty is being kept in overnight for observation.
They aired a video promoting a reading program for kids.
A Bray Wyatt video promo aired about putting down animals.
They re-aired highlights of Duty Rhodes and Stephanie again.
Daniel Bryan was shown heading towards the ring, as various good guys wished him luck, including girlfriend Brie Bella, who he hugged.
Main Event: Roman Reigns (w/The Shield and Randy Orton) vs. Daniel Bryan ended in Disqualification when Randy Orton ran in and put the beating on Bryan.
The rest of The Shield then got in the ring and put the boots to Bryan. Randy Orton grabbed a chair, and set up Bryan just like he did to Miz earlier tonight. Before he could stomp on Bryan's head however, The Usos, Prime Time Players, RVD, Zolph Ziggler, Kofi Kingston, Zack Ryder and other midcarders ran down to make the save. A big brawl ensued in the ring, as Randy Orton quickly scarpered through the crowd, leaving The Shield to fight them all off alone. After the locker room gained the upper hand and dispatched them to the outside, the Prime Time Players lifted Bryan onto their shoulders like he was Sting or Bret Hart, as they and the crowd all shouted "YES!" in unison to take RAW off the air.
- Joined in 2008
- Location: Botswana
WWE RAW Results 23rd September 2013 wrote:
Location: Allstate Arena; Rosemont, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, John "Bradshaw" Layfield and Jerry "The King" Lawler
Monday Night RAW opened with a short 30 second video package, voiced by Vince McMahon, mourning the death of Angelo Savoldi, who died last week at the age of 99.
All the Superstars that ran-in to help Daniel Bryan at the conclusion of RAW last week were on the stage. Triple H and Stephanie McMahon came out. The Shield were standing in front of the ring. They had the red carpet set-up on the canvas. After Triple H had welcomed the crowd to RAW, Stephanie took the microphone and congratulated the ten men on the stage for "finally being men" and stepping up last week. Hunter said he knew their actions had nothing to do with Daniel Bryan, which led to RVD interrupting and saying that's exactly what it was all about, as they all felt Daniel Bryan had been screwed out of the WWE Title. Crowd chanted "RVD", as Triple H responded that he finds it hard to believe they were fighting for Daniel Bryan, as he thought WWE Superstars fought to be WWE champion, not fight for a WWE champion. Triple H and Stephanie then singled out Dolph Ziggler, R-Truth and Zack Ryder, saying if they really think Bryan deserves a championship more than them, and why Bryan should be "the face of the WWE" over someone like Zack Ryder. They then claimed the reason none of them were WWE Champion was because of...The Shield. Hunter reminded them how The Shield had beaten them all, and their frustration wasn't to do with Daniel Bryan, but rather with The Shield. Therefore he was going to give them the chance to take out all that frustration tonight in an 11 on 3 Elimination Handicap match against The Shield. Hunter said he'll even give them an extra partner in Daniel Bryan, a person that believes he's better than all of them. Stephanie then said everyone could vote on the WWE App as to who Randy Orton should face later in the show, with the options being RVD, Dolph Ziggler or R-Truth. HHH ended by saying "What's best for all of you is best for business.".
They announced CM Punk will return later tonight.
The commentators told us all on how to go about downloading the WWE App.
Match 1: World Heavyweight Champion Alberto Del Rio defeated Kofi Kingston with the Cross Arm Breaker in a non-title match (14:00). Crowd chanted for "Randy Savage" and "Colt Cabana".
Renee Young interviewed constant annoyance The Miz backstage. Before Miz could respond however, Triple H stepped in. He asked how Miz was feeling, "Sore?". Hunter said that as COO it was his responsibility to look out for Miz's well-being, and therefore he wasn't going to allow Miz to get his hands on Randy Orton tonight, as there would be no telling what Orton would do to Miz "in his condition". Instead HHH claimed Chicago wanted Miz TV. Crowd booed. And his guest would be the Big Show.
They recapped the Rhodes family situation.
The Wyatt Family made their way out to the ring heading into commercial.
Match 2: The Wyatt Family defeated The Prime Time Players when Luke Harper hit Titus O'Neil with the Clothesline from Hell for the pin. After the match Bray Wyatt ran-in and put the beating on Darren Young, and nailed him with Sister Abigail. During the match, the lights in the arena went out for about 2 seconds.
Big Show was shown backstage heading towards the ring.
Miz came out for Miz TV. He said he normally comes out with a smile on his face, but he's banged up and pissed off. Miz said he was humiliated by Orton in front of his family and friends, and this wasn't over by a long shot; payback will come and it'll be awesome (wrong PPV, Miz). Miz said he wasn't the only one seeking medical attention last week, as a Hall of Famer was knocked out by his guest, Big Show. Big Show made his way out.
Miz said he respects Big Show as a man, but doesn't understand how he could do that to a living legend and someone who was effectively a father figure to Show in Dusty Rhodes. Miz says he gets that Show is having personal issues, and that Triple H and Stephanie are taking advantage of those issues, and that The Shield would have beaten up Rhodes anyway, but they're both trying to break him. And if they can break him, then they can break everybody - at least in their on minds. Miz told Show that it's time for him to step up along with the WWE Superstars, and not allow that "castrating witch" to demoralising him. This brought out Stephanie McMahon for the SECOND TIME TONIGHT. She told Miz she was going to let a lot of that slide, but there was no need to berate Big Show, as it was borderline slander. Miz said Steph could take her legal threats & shove them straight up her ass. Steph sarcastically claimed that to be "very original". She then told Miz he was living in his own cul-de-sac of disappointment, having suffered a beating and absolute humiliation at the hands of Orton last week. A few in the crowd called her a slut. Stephanie said there was nothing like a superstar that peaks too early. She then called Miz a "utility player"; the guy that is sent by WWE to do early morning radio shows, promotion in far flung places of the world, or stuff at local supermarkets. In that regard, 'Miz is their guy'. And it's not like they haven't given out opportunities, Steph claimed. Having looked in the eyes of his Mum last week, she saw her go from hope to nothing but disappointment. Steph said Miz had once again failed himself, and yet again couldn't measure up. Despite this, Miz never seems to learn, as here he is again. Stephanie then told Miz she was sorry to do this to him, but demanded Big Show Knock him out. Big Show then immediately and without hesitation obliged, before then walking out.
Jerry Lawler revealed 57% of those using the WWE App had voted for Randy Orton to face RVD.
Match 3: Randy Orton vs. RVD (w/Ricardo) ended in a Double Count-Out. After the match, Randy Orton planted RVD back-first onto an exposed piece of the security barricade, ran him into the ring steps twice, threw him over the announce table and, back in the ring, nailed him with a draping DDT off the top rope.
The Matadores will début next week.
During the commercial break, as RVD was being helped out by referees, Alberto Del Rio ran-in and put the Arm Breaker on RVD.
They announced the the full roster for WWE 2K14 is now on WWE.com.
The Bellas were backstage when Randy Orton turned up and asked them if they saw what happened out there. Brie said she was too busy not caring. Orton responded by saying that she needed to drop Daniel Bryan and upgrade to a real man. Brie said she was already with a real man, which led to an angry Orton telling her what she saw standing in front of her now was a real man, and her goat-faced boyfriend will never ever be a real man. This segment really needed William Regal's old theme music playing in the background.
They aired never before seen footage of Triple H and Stephanie McMahon's real-life wedding from the new Triple H DVD. The night Kayfabe died. Again. Stephanie McMahon was shown watching it in her office when AJ Lee walked in. Stephanie passed her a copy of the DVD, telling AJ she could watch it to see what a real wedding looks like. AJ questioned why she was in a ridiculous 10 Diva tag match against the Total Divas crew. Stephanie told AJ that she either competes tonight or maybe she won't be Champion for much longer. AJ sheepishly said she was going to get ready for her match. The commentators seemed pleased AJ Lee was put in her place, and then joked that maybe she'll get a new tattoo for when she loses the belt. JBL then said something about AJ Lee having or needing a neck like a giraffe.
Match 4: Fandango (w/Summer Rae) beat Santino with a top rope leg drop. Crowd chanted for "Summer Rae".
CM Punk, sporting a Black Hawks NHL jersey, came out for a promo. Crowd unsurprisingly went crazy.
They announced Brad Maddox had made Ryback vs. CM Punk for Battleground.
Punk said the crowd had ruined a perfectly good bad mood. Punk said he tried to get the cup here tonight, but it's being engraved in Montreal, so despite his best efforts he feels like he let everyone down tonight. In fact he feels like he's been letting a lot of people down lately. Punk said he's lost plenty of matches, and been beat up plenty of times, but his loss to Paul Heyman really hurt, and left him wondering if he can still do this any more. But then he came out here in Chicago to such a great ovation, wearing the NHL jersey with pride, he remembered the Hawks being down 3-1 against the Detroit Red Wings. Punk said they didn't feel sorry for themselves, instead they shut their mouths, put their heads down and went on to win in overtime. Chicago may lose some fights, but they pick themselves up and go to work the next day. Punk started swearing so WWE muted the audio. Paul Heyman interrupted in a motorised OAP scooter. He looked fantastically absurd. He came out singing 'New York, New York' but with different words. In the ring, Punk said Heyman was about to catch a beating from him because they're in Chicago, not in Detroit. And in Chicago, they'd all bail Punk out of jail. Heyman said he doesn't want Punk to feel sorry about the loss, as it's simply geography. "You're from Chicago. The Second City. Second place teams. Second rate citizens. Second class parents, the Second Best in the World," Punk said he's not stupid because he knows how this is going to end tonight, but he's still going to have two seconds to rip Heyman's face off. Heyman tried to leave, but his motorised wheelchair had stalled on the ramp, having apparently ran out of batteries. Punk left the ring and was just about to get his hands on Heyman when Curtis Axel and Ryback nailed him, and put the beating on Punk up and around the ramp. Punk managed to make a comeback but was simply outnumbered. Ryback sent Punk into the LED lighting rigs beside the Tron, before then throwing him onto a trunk, picking him up above his head and slammed him through a table. Paul Heyman then miracously hopped up from his chair and made his way down beside the set, celebrating with Axel and Ryback.
As the music for the next match played in the background, referees and the WWE doctor were attending to Punk on the floor beside the stage, as they re-aired the prior beat down. Punk refused medical help and made his own way backstage.
Match 5: Total Divas defeated AJ Lee and company when Brie Bella pinned AJ in a complete nothing match that went just 2 minutes. Most of the women didn't even enter the ring.
They aired a special look at the RKO, taken from YouTube.
The Shield cut a promo backstage.
Daniel Bryan made his way out at precisely the 10:30pm mark, to a chorus of "Yes!" & "Daniel Bryan" chants from the crowd. He said they were awesome. Last week he was stripped of the Championship. Bryan said he may not be the most intelligent guy on the planet, but you don't need to fast count a guy that is already Knocked out. A conspiracy theory between Triple H and Armstrong? Now that's more believable. While he doesn't know what happened at NOC, he doesn't care either, as what's done is done. He doesn't care what Orton turns up at Battleground, as there will only be one result, and that's him taking back the WWE title. Bryan said he is sick of Orton hiding behind his boss's skirt. And when he wakes up from the beating that this 'B+, goat face troll' gives him, he'll be greeted by one word that'll haunt him for the rest of his life: "Yes!". This brought out The Shield through the crowd. Suddenly out of nowhere, Goldust - face paint and all - along with Cody Rhodes, jumped the barricade and assaulted The Shield, before security quickly arrived and dragged them both out of the building, as RAW crashed to break.
It was announced Dolph Ziggler will face Dean Ambrose for the United States Championship on SmackDown.
Main Event: In a strong contender for the Most Stupid Main Event of the Year™ award, RVD, The Usos, Prime Time Players, Dolph Ziggler, Kofi Kingston, R-Truth, Justin Gabriel, Zack Ryder and Daniel Bryan defeated The Shield in an 11 on 3 Tag Team Elimination Handicap match when Daniel Bryan pinned Seth Rollins (23:00).
Order of elimination: RVD, Kofi Kingston, Titus O'Neil, Justin Gabriel, Zack Ryder, Roman Reigns, Darren Young, Dean Ambrose, R-Truth and Seth Rollins.
- Joined in 2008
- Location: Botswana
WWE RAW Results September 30 2013 wrote:
Location: Mississippi Coast Coliseum; Biloxi, MS
Commentators: Michael Cole, John "Bradshaw" Layfield and Jerry "The King" Lawler
Sunday Night RAW opened with CM Punk making his way out to the ring. They've made some slight alterations to the set to coincide with Susan G Komen, with the return of the pink middle rope, logo on the ramp and the like. Crowd chanted "CM Punk". Punk said RAW thrives on unpredictability. However some times predictably is okay with him. Like how it was predictable that he was going to get beaten up in his home town last week. It was also predictable that he would go after Heyman for opening his mouth, and that he'd then get attacked for trying to put the beating on Heyman. Maddox came out and told Punk to take it easy. Punk joked that he didn't even have an entrance song. Big E Langston of all people interrupted. Langston told Punk if he wanted aggression, then he's his man. Langston then attacked Punk. Punk managed to dodge an attack in the corner, sending Langston running into the ring post. Maddox motioned for a referee as we headed to commercial.
Match 1: CM Punk defeated Big E Langston with the Go To Sleep.
They announced Daniel Bryan and Randy Orton will go face-to-face tonight.
They recapped the Rhodes situation.
A "Family Summit" with the Rhodes Family and Stephanie and Triple H was announced for later tonight.
Has to be noted the building is noticeably empty tonight. The entire upper deck is pitch black.
Match 2: Kofi Kingston pinned Fandango (w/Summer Rae) with Trouble in Paradise.
The Wyatt Family then interrupted and they all made their way out. Bray Wyatt sat in his chair going on about something or other, as Kofi - having never left the ring according to Lawler - was clutching a chair.
Dolph Ziggler and Damien Sandow was made for WWE Battleground Kick-Off.
The Bellas were talking backstage when Randy Orton walked up to them and sarcastically congratulated Brie on her engagement to "little Daniel". He asked when the big day was. She didn't respond. Orton said they should have the wedding sooner rather than later, because after this Sunday there's a very good chance Daniel Bryan won't make it down the aisle...because he won't be able to walk.
Renee Young was backstage with Paul Heyman. She wanted his reaction to Punk at the top of the show. Heyman said it must be very hard to watch a man like Punk descend into madness in his pursuit to get his hands on him. Heyman claimed Punk was a nobody who became a Heyman guy, who then became a WWE Champion, and a WWE Champion who forgot what made them the best in the world. Heyman told her his mere existence was a trap for CM Punk. He has a huge night planned for RAW tonight, and if Punk wants to do something about it then just let him try.
Match 3: The Matatores (w/El Torito - a midget in a silly bull outfit) defeated 3MB. They made no reference to whether this was the same El Torito as the one who was in the WWF in 1997. This whole gimmick screamed 1995 WWF and is inevitably doomed.
"The owner of" Stephanie McMahon and COO of WWE Triple H made their way out together hand-in-hand. Triple H said he would like to invite the Rhodes Family to the ring.
He guaranteed their safety just as any other WWE Superstar. They all came out to the Dream's theme music. Goldust was wearing a suit and his face-paint, automatically making this tough to take seriously. Stephanie had her satanic smile. She said everyone was clearly happy to see them, and welcomed Cody, saying this was the first time they'd seen each other since the wedding (why the strawberry float did he invite Stephanie to the wedding?). Triple H said Dustin did what he always does. He failed. They then offered Dusty to make a choice and instead he opted to make it all about himself, just like always. Hunter asked whether he was still bitter about not being able to make it outside the NWA. So here they all were with opportunity number 4. Stephanie told Dusty Rhodes that has the most important job in WWE, training upcoming wrestlers in developmental. Stephanie said she'd like to give the two brothers another opportunity to get their jobs back. If they can both defeat The Shield at Battleground they'll be rehired. However, if they lose, they'll never work in the WWE again, and their father Dusty will be fired. Dusty grabbed the microphone and told them both that they're big on getting in people's faces. He then got in Hunter's face. HHH told him not to get in his face "old man". Dusty responded by telling Hunter he was going to be his son's "Huckleberry all night long". Stephanie said he's on. She told them that if they're itching for a fight, then be careful as they just might get it. As they were leaving, The Shield ran in a beat them up. Dusty grabbed a chair but as he was getting in the ring was also taken out. Sky then decided to update the box as we presumably headed to commercial. Because this is what Sky now do on a regular basis.
Match 4: R-Truth pinned WWE Intercontinental Champion Axel Rotten (w/Paul Heyman) in a non-title bout when Axel was distracted by CM Punk's theme music.
Brie Bella and Sister, Brazzers, were shown making their way to the ring backstage.
They announced Trish Stratus has given birth to Maximus Stratus. I had to rewind to make sure they weren't taking the piss.
They aired a soppy video of Brie Bella and Daniel Bryan's relationship using clips from Total Divas, accompanied by lyrics "nothing is going to stop us". They then cut back to the crowd to no reaction. Well, that's Bryan dead.
Match 5: Brie Bella pinned Alicia Fox off the X-Factor. AJ Lee and Tamina were shown watching on backstage. The commentators got into some bizarre argument about how Michael Cole was "telling stories" whereas JBL wanted to call the action in the ring. Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler then went silent for a few seconds and told JBL to go do it then. This came across as Vince or whoever messing about in the headset again at the Divas' expense.
They aired a commercial for John Cena's Fast Lane, a game on mobile you wouldn't want to play even if they paid you.
Paul Heyman and Curtis Axel were in the locker room. Axel was angry at what happened earlier. Ryback walked in and told them nobody needs to be distracted by Punk, and they should just give him what he wants. Heyman told Ryback to go get something to eat and he'll come find him. Heyman told Axel that ever since Ryback saved his life, he has a new outlook on life. Paul Heyman said he's going to go to the ring later tonight and PROPOSE to Ryback.
Renee Young interviewed crybaby Big Show backstage. He said he's holding up as well as can be expected. Show said people keep telling him to be a man, but that's very easy to say when it's not your neck on the line. He's being forced to make a decision between two evils, and he wouldn't choose evil as he's a good person, and he keeps being forced to do these horrible things. Now he can't even look Dusty in the eye. Big Show, now becoming increasingly enraged, said there's only so much he can take and he's simply not going to take it any more. With his fist now in a ball, he said he's going off to knock Triple H out. Big Show then went off up the hallway, on the hunt for the big bad wolf!
R-Truth was with Maddox talking about getting an Intercontinental Championship opportunity when Big Show stormed in, grabbed Maddox round the neck and held him up against the wall, demanding to know where Triple H was. Maddox said he didn't know. Show ordered Maddox to go find him, as he seethed away in the office.
Match 6: As WWE continued their effort to lose viewers to absolutely anything else on TV, RAW rolled on with World Heavyweight Champion Alberto Del Rio tapping out Zack Ryder with the Arm Breaker in a COMPETITIVE non-title match.
They re-aired the Rhodes/McMahon segment.
They showed 4 people associated with Susan G Komen in the front row.
Paul Heyman and Ryback came out. They re-aired the Heyman/Axel/Ryback/Punk punch-up from last week on the Tron. Ryback said if there's one thing he hates in this negative world it's a bully. To see all that friendship, knowledge and sacrifice of Paul Heyman hurled back in his face was something he couldn't let stand. He put his hand on Heyman's face and said there was nothing he wouldn't do for him. Heyman said 2013 is such a progressive year with so many movements, people need to be honest with their feelings, and that he wants something much more meaningful for the both of them. He feels free and liberated with Ryback. He wants to feel that way every day for the rest of his life. Heyman said this needs to become an official commitment between the both of them. Heyman said he even ran this past his children. Heyman told Ryback he wants to make an honest man out of him. Heyman then got on one knee as if he was going to ask Ryback to marry him. He called him a "big, bad, beautiful man". After a pause, Heyman asked Ryback whether he would become a "Paul Heyman guy?". Crowd chanted "No!". CM Punk's music hit. Jerry Lawler said he thought he was watching Ryback Mountain. Punk came out through the crowd and then fell over, apparently injuring his knee. Ryback and Heyman watched on, almost concerned, in the ring. Announcers played it up as if this was legit. In the background JBL put his hand to his headset, as if he was being fed information on this unscripted situation. The WWE doctor came out to check on Punk. Heyman went over, asking if he was okay. Punk then pulled a Kendo Stick from under the ring and nailed Heyman around the legs, before entering the ring and nailing Ryback. Axel then ran-in but was taken out by Punk as well. A piece of the stick flew into the crowd. Axel was finally levelled with a GTS, as Heyman, clutching his leg, and Ryback watched on from the stage.
The Big Show was shown pacing back and forth in the office.
Match 7: In quite comfortably match of the night, The Shield defeated Dolph Ziggler and The Usos when Roman Reigns pinned Dolph Ziggler with a Spear.
A now sweaty Big Show was shown still in the McMahon office, taking his suit jacket off and unbuttoning his shirt.
Did you Know? WWE has 200 million social followers on Twitter and Facebook. Don't pull that face.
Back in the McMahon office, Big Show was still there when the Police turned up. They told "Mr Wight" that he needed to come with them after threatening behaviour towards a WWE employee. Stephanie McMahon walked in and told them while he may seem like a "volatile giant", he's been under a lot of pressure recently. Steph said Show is just trying to put food on the table, and has a "big mortgage payment" coming up. Steph thanked the officers but it wasn't necessary as she could vouch for him. She then mentioned how she'd had a conversation with Big Show's wife, and that apparently he hasn't exactly been measuring up to her expectations either (it's funny, right, because she means he can't get an erection). As everyone then left, Big Show sat on the sofa and was about to burst into tears when he noticed Triple H's new DVD cover on the wall. Show then put his fist through the plaster board.
Renee Young interviewed RVD backstage. RVD said he could talk for hours about his hardcore match Sunday, but would rather just show everyone. They then aired a Top 10 countdown 'direct' from YouTube. Nothing like watching a small faked YouTube clip on a big TV.
Santino, Great Khali and Hornswoggle were shown walking backstage towards the ring.
It was announced The Shield would face Big Show on SmackDown.
Zeb Colter cut a promo taking a big dump on Mississippi. Crowd chanted "We the people" anyway.
Main Event: Having apparently booked Superstars by mistake, Santino (w/Great Khali and Hornswoggle) pinned Antonio Cesaro (w/Zeb Colter and Jack Swagger).
JBL: "We're going to hit our over-run on a Cesaro swing". Cole found it hilarious.
Jerry Lawler in the ring re-iterated Brie Bella and Bryan are now engaged, and then plugged Total Divas, coming back in November. Lawler then introduced Daniel Bryan, to a considerably less enthusiastic "Yes!" chant from the crowd. Out came Randy Orton, to a mild pop.
Lawler said this was verbals only. Orton said at the time he was upset Triple H didn't give him the title, but looking at it now he's glad as it inspired him. No longer was he the watered down viper that cared what fans think, but rather the viper that decimated the likes of The Miz in his home town. Orton vowed victory on Sunday as he was genetically superior, and Bryan is nothing more than a "weak, B+, goat-faced troll". Bryan responded by telling Orton that he talks a great game, a bit monotone, like he practises it in front of a mirror, but good anyway. However he asked why Triple H felt the need to inspire him. Maybe it's because he wants him on DVDs and magazines, or maybe it was because he knows Orton can't reach his full potential without it. Bryan said while he may be all of those things Orton said, he has never needed insipring to reach his full potential. Orton then got on the case of the crowd for chanting Yes, and just because they chant that one syllable doesn't mean he can win on Sunday. Orton moved on to Brie, questioning what could be so incredibly wrong with Brie to settle for the likes of Bryan. One day Brie is going to wake up and realise she is sleeping with a barn yard animal. This set Bryan off and he jumped on Orton. As they moved to the outside, Orton immediately got the upper hand, repeatedly ramming Bryan into the ring post on the outside, before then dumping him on the railing. Orton continued his assault, leading to Brie Bella running down to make the save. Orton DDT'ed Bryan off the ring apron to the floor anyway. Brie then sunk to her knees crying, before going over to tend to a destroyed Bryan as Orton walked off. Orton then changed his mind and went back over to the announce table, smashed that up, and then threw Bryan onto it. As a hysterical Brie looked on (well, as hysterical as you can expect considering her acting ability), Orton gave him an RKO, exploding the table. Brie screamed Orton to "Stop! Stop it!". RAW went off the air with Brie and referees checking on Bryan, as a guy in the crowd told Orton to go kiss her. There were people LEAVING during this segment.
This show was the pits.
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