Re: The WWE RAW Report: 20th May 2013
Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 2:04 pm
WWE RAW Results May 20th 2013 wrote:
Location: Sprint Center; Kansas City, MO
Commentators: Michael Cole, John "Bradshaw" Layfield and Jerry Lawler
24 hours removed from WWE Extreme Rules, RAW kicked off with an ambulance making its way into the arena with its sirens blaring. Ryback stepped out the back as they aired photos on the Tron of their Extreme Rules match. Back in the building, Ryback had made his way to the roof of the ambulance. He said last night the decision was that there was no decision. The record books state that there was no real winner. He said that while Cena walked away with the WWE Championship, he didn't walk away, he was carried away. They then aired footage from the Extreme Rules Post Show of Cena being stretchered out and refusing to be taken to the hospital. Ryback said at WWE Payback next month John Cena wouldn't be able to refuse medical assistance, nor would it matter if he couldn't stand or had a beating heart, as he was challenging him to an Ambulance match. Ryback said he's going to send Cena to the medical facility, just like the rest of the crowd. He then went on a tirade stating none of the crowd knew anything about nutrition or education, and that everyone in the crowd were "weak, weak, weak, weak, weak..." and pathetic, and that they'd skip the hospital and just end up going straight to the morgue.
They announced that Heyman would reveal who his newest client of "Heyman Enterprises" is later tonight.
They aired a load of fans drinking Sonic milkshakes. Some interesting flavours, that's for sure...
Wade Barrett will take on Sin Cara Wednesday night on Main Event.
Wade Barrett's got new theme music.
Match 1: The Miz and Chris Jericho defeated Wade Barrett & Fandango (w/Summer Rae). Jericho somehow got busted open. Finish saw Fandango start dancing on the outside with Summer Rae, leaving Barrett to get wasted by Jericho in the ring with the Lionsault and Codebreaker. Jericho then tagged in Miz who applied the Figure Four for the submission. After the match, Jericho and Miz confronted Fandango on the outside, which led Fandango to scarper through the crowd, accidentally knocking down a fat fan in the process. Jericho then danced with Summer Rae, before blowing her off.
During the match, Josh Mathews was shown interviewing Road Dogg and Kaitlyn on the WWE App. Cos who cares about the match in the ring, right?
Vickie Guerrero came out and announced that Jack Swagger will wrestle tonight against an opponent chosen by fans of the WWE App. Choices being Great Khali, R-Truth and Randy Orton. Begging the question...what's the strawberry floating point?
Daniel Bryan was in his locker room when Kane walked in. Kane asked him if he was ready for later tonight. Bryan said that it's finally hit him: he's not the tag team champions; Kane isn't the tag team champions; They're both not the tag team champions. Kane told him to stop being so negative. Bryan responded by saying Kane was the one going around telling everyone to "embrace the hate". He said he felt naked without the title. Kane asked whether that had anything to do with him not wearing any pants or a shirt. Bryan didn't see the funny side. Kane said they had a rematch with The Shield and they can't show weakness, as that's what they prey on. Bryan took this to mean that Kane was implying he was the weak link. They both started arguing, as Kofi Kingston came in and broke them up. Bryan stormed off.
They showed a disheartened Mark Henry on the Extreme Rules post show telling a WWE trainer that he was "going home"
Match 2: Sheamus defeated Titus O'Neil (w/Darren Young) with the Brogue Kick in a competitive bout.
Keven Jonas was the WWE Twat of the Night or some such nonsense involving Twitter.
Paul Heyman made his way out to no entrance music. He asked what it feels like to be powerless. He said the crowd's booes wouldn't change the fact that Brock Lesnar defeated HHH last night. History doesn't record booes, rather it'll record that his client emerged victorious in the cage, and that Triple H will go down in history as a loser. While Lesnar is at home enjoying the spoils of war, HHH tucked his sledgehamer between his legs and went home to mummy. Heyman said with Lesnar fulfilling his obligations to WWE, people had questioned what he was now going to talk about. He said it's time for something different. It's time to give us that moment in time where we need to set our DVR. The Youtube clip that we'll all look back on in history and see where it "took a left turn". Heyman claimed that tonight we all witness history. He introduced the "newest Paul Heyman guy": Curtis Axel (Curt Hennig's son from NXT). Axel came out to a dead reaction. He's got a rejigged version of Mr Perfect's theme. Crowd booed. Heyman said it's the exact same reaction the crowd gave Lesnar in 2002, and the same reaction in 2006 that greeted CM Punk in the new ECW (actually they cheered). Heyman said that in the Alice in Wonderland, upside-down land of WWE, having a legacy like Curtis Axel is an albatross that sinks you to the bottom of the talent pool. He says he's playing homage to his Dad and Axe Hennig with his name, but is going to carve out his own niche. With the beard he looks like Mike Knox.
Triple H's music then hit and came out with a smirk on his face. Hunter, clearly not giving a gooseberry fool, sarcastically said "Wow" and blew off Hennig. HHH told Heyman that he could put any spin on last night he wanted, but not to claim he's embarrassed because he isn't embarrassed about a damn thing. He went to war and Lesnar beat him, but he'd beat him at Mania. Triple H said that Lesnar didn't walk away last night, he limped. Mr Axel then got in Triple H's face, and told him that 'The Game' had now changed. Triple H, grinning like a loon, slapped him in the face, and Axel fell to the mat like a piece of piss. Hunter said he's going to book himself in a match with Axel tonight, and once he'd got through kicking his ass, he's going to kick Heyman's.
Match 3: Big E Langston (w/AJ Lee) defeated Alberto Del Rio (w/Ricardo) with the Big Ending, after Langston raked Del Rio in the eyes while the referee was distracted by Ricardo's tin pot AJ Lee had rolled into the ring.
They re-aired highlights of the opening segment.
Match 4: AJ Lee beat Laya with the Black Widow. Commentators seemed to talk about everything but the match. The Bellas were shown watching on a TV backstage.
Match 5: Cody Rhodes pinned continual no-hoper Zack Ryder off the Disaster Kick. Neither man got an entrance.
After the match, Ryback made his way down to the ring and laid waste to Ryder with a Clothesline, Powerbomb and Shellshocked. Ryback then chucked Ryder to the floor, picked him up and carried him to the ambulance beside the stage. After chucking him in the back, the meat wagon reversed back out of the arena.
The Shield made their way through the crowd and took the microphone. They said that last night they took power back to the titles. They claimed they were the reason The Rock lost at WrestleMania, that Undertaker was now resting in peace, and why Ryback felt so alone and helpless that he finally snapped. He said all the fan's heroes had gone down at the hands of The Shield's justice. Rollins claimed we can now all see what a cohesive unit looks like, and said the scary part was that this was just the beginning, and that they run the yard.
Match 6: In another great WWE six man tag, The Shield defeated Kofi Kingston and Team Hell No when Reigns Speared Kane for the pin.
Triple H was shown taping up backstage when "Larry" the trainer walked in. He told HHH that the doctor doesn't think he's able to compete. Triple H asked whether the Doc likes having a job in WWE, and if he doesn't like Hunter's decision he can find a job elsewhere. A public sign of how the inner workings of WWE work, there...
Natalya was backstage with Kaityln, who had received another text when Rhodes walked past on his phone. Natalya hugged him and Kaitlyn nabbed the phone. Cody Rhodes was posting pictures of himself on the internet, much to the derision of the two girls. Wonder if this was a rib on Matt Striker, who posted photos of his 3 inch cock on the internet...
They announced 150,000 votes have been cast on the App service.
Jerry Lawler announced to the Live crowd that Randy Orton had received 72% of the vote to face Swagger.
Match 7: Randy Orton pinned Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Colter) with the RKO.
Re-aired highlights of Ryback from the top of the show.
Fiddly Diddly Coombs promoted bullying. Or the opposite of it.
Main Event: Triple H and Curtis Axel ended in a No Contest when Triple H, appearing blown up and disorientated, collapsed at ringside. As medical personnel checked on him, Lawler questioned whether Triple H was having a stroke. Possibly a concussion angle.