[Rules p.1] Things that annoy you guys. 100 percent. Not gonna lie

Yikes

Blue Eyes wrote:That racist old banana split Prince Phillip had a car crash and two women were hospitalised. Not a single strawberry float given about them, though. Just constant reports that the Prince didn't die. Well, you know what? I wish he did die. I wish his head came off and rolled into a pile of horseshit and it went in his mouth, and he could taste it. That would be strawberry floating news.

Didn't see the details but was Prince Phillip actually driving or did he have a driver? If he was driving then that's crazy at his age, really shouldn't be behind a wheel.

Got a guy installing a new front door round.

"Can I use your loo, mate"

Sure I says. 5 minutes later he's bacj

Dear god his insides must be dying. He's stunk the entire top floor house. It's rancid. HOW DOES THE HUMAN BODY MAKE THAT SMELL.

I'm being British and ignoring it. Even though we can both see (almost literally) the digusting elephant in the room

Blue Eyes wrote:That racist old banana split Prince Phillip had a car crash and two women were hospitalised. Not a single strawberry float given about them, though. Just constant reports that the Prince didn't die. Well, you know what? I wish he did die. I wish his head came off and rolled into a pile of horseshit and it went in his mouth, and he could taste it. That would be strawberry floating news.

You’re a very angry person.

tomvek wrote:
Blue Eyes wrote:That racist old banana split Prince Phillip had a car crash and two women were hospitalised. Not a single strawberry float given about them, though. Just constant reports that the Prince didn't die. Well, you know what? I wish he did die. I wish his head came off and rolled into a pile of horseshit and it went in his mouth, and he could taste it. That would be strawberry floating news.

Didn't see the details but was Prince Phillip actually driving or did he have a driver? If he was driving then that's crazy at his age, really shouldn't be behind a wheel.

Pretty sure he was driving.

Moggy wrote:
Blue Eyes wrote:That racist old banana split Prince Phillip had a car crash and two women were hospitalised. Not a single strawberry float given about them, though. Just constant reports that the Prince didn't die. Well, you know what? I wish he did die. I wish his head came off and rolled into a pile of horseshit and it went in his mouth, and he could taste it. That would be strawberry floating news.

You’re a very angry person.

Oh yeah? What of it?

Blue Eyes wrote:That racist old banana split Prince Phillip had a car crash and two women were hospitalised. Not a single strawberry float given about them, though.

"A nine-month-old baby in the Kia was uninjured. The driver, a 28-year-old woman, had cuts while a 45-year-old female passenger broke her wrist."

m8 they're fine

More like prince Flip amirite

Trials for the new "advanced driving skills" part of the Duke of Edinburgh award have not got off to a good start then?

Blue Eyes wrote:I wish he did die. I wish his head came off and rolled into a pile of horseshit and it went in his mouth, and he could taste it.

Looks like someone's in a good mood.

Hexx wrote:Got a guy installing a new front door round.

"Can I use your loo, mate"

Sure I says. 5 minutes later he's bacj

Dear god his insides must be dying. He's stunk the entire top floor house. It's rancid. HOW DOES THE HUMAN BODY MAKE THAT SMELL.

I'm being British and ignoring it. Even though we can both see (almost literally) the digusting elephant in the room

Pretty sure it's just called a flat.

twitter.com/victoriacoren/status/1086187151174324224

Reserve printer paper at Curry's PC World online. Get to store.

"Not in stock, innit. Only printing paper we got is this one...but it's more expensive."

Well that's convenient. Can't even attempt to purchase paper in this place without being upsold! Surprised I wasn't asked if I wanted an HDMI cable to go with it.

The one place suitable and designated for changing here is the disabled toilet (there are no physically disabled people here), and I get in to find someone has treated themselves to an early morning VIP poo and strawberry floating destroyed it, smells like someone has gutted a corpse. Even better is there is a can of air freshener right beside said toilet that hasn't been uses at all.

strawberry floating animals.

Public/workplace toilets are uniformly disgusting. People are awful.

Our work loos are surprisingly good for not being stunk out

It's a bitch to find a cubicle as there are usually constantly full, but when you get one it's fine, they all have extractor fans above them so any pong is removed almost instantly.

Getting changed is good too as we have 5 shower rooms so they are good for getting changed too.

I used to always hate public loo's. But I went to Nepal recently, and anything that has a seat that you can clean down with toilet paper, is luxury i tell you. Luxury.

There must be something in the air at the moment as I too had the unfortunate pleasure of being greeted by a strawberry floating hellstorm of shite when I used the loos at work earlier today.

The smell was apparent even before entering the outer door, let alone the cubicle itself, but I knew there was something truly awful waiting when I spotted the sure sign of duplicitous defecation: the closed toilet lid.

I'm not talking about the toilet seat, which comes with its own set of heated debates and issues, one thing that everyone can surely agree on is this - nobody of sound body or mind closes the outer lid of a toilet unless they know they have done something truly awful below. :dread:

Grabbing a wad of tissues to protect myself I gingerly gripped the lid in a pincer like fashion, intending to keep contact with anything to an absolute minimum, and slowly raised it aloft - like a man lifting the lid of an undercooked Quorn pie, curious yet petrified of what he may find within. And strawberry float me was I not prepared. :shock:

Black, brown, red, I'm sure some of it was even strawberry floating blue, what lay before me was a faecal visage so unholy that the saints themselves would have called out for mercy. The volume was incredible, practically filling the bowl a clear inch above the waterline, but what was more disturbing was the spread which had been achieved. No surface below the rim was untouched by some residue of this hideous creatures "deposit". :dread:

I dropped the lid and I ran out of there quicker than I've moved since that day I thought they were giving away free iPhones at work and I'm not ashamed to say that when I finally stopped ... I cried. What could produce such a thing? How was this possible, that someone could deliver such a water closet calamity and yet somehow walk among us as another human being like you or I? Were they ill or was this... "normal" for them?

Part of me wants answers to these questions, but I fear I am not strong enough to hear, let alone comprehend, them...

Better story than the last Jedi

[Rules p.1] Things that annoy you guys. 100 percent. Not gonna lie

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