GRcade

Jenuall wrote:There must be something in the air at the moment as I too had the unfortunate pleasure of being greeted by a strawberry floating hellstorm of shite when I used the loos at work earlier today.

The smell was apparent even before entering the outer door, let alone the cubicle itself, but I knew there was something truly awful waiting when I spotted the sure sign of duplicitous defecation: the closed toilet lid.

I'm not talking about the toilet seat, which comes with its own set of heated debates and issues, one thing that everyone can surely agree on is this - nobody of sound body or mind closes the outer lid of a toilet unless they know they have done something truly awful below.

Grabbing a wad of tissues to protect myself I gingerly gripped the lid in a pincer like fashion, intending to keep contact with anything to an absolute minimum, and slowly raised it aloft - like a man lifting the lid of an undercooked Quorn pie, curious yet petrified of what he may find within. And strawberry float me was I not prepared.

Black, brown, red, I'm sure some of it was even strawberry floating blue, what lay before me was a faecal visage so unholy that the saints themselves would have called out for mercy. The volume was incredible, practically filling the bowl a clear inch above the waterline, but what was more disturbing was the spread which had been achieved. No surface below the rim was untouched by some residue of this hideous creatures "deposit".

I dropped the lid and I ran out of there quicker than I've moved since that day I thought they were giving away free iPhones at work and I'm not ashamed to say that when I finally stopped ... I cried. What could produce such a thing? How was this possible, that someone could deliver such a water closet calamity and yet somehow walk among us as another human being like you or I? Were they ill or was this... "normal" for them?

Part of me wants answers to these questions, but I fear I am not strong enough to hear, let alone comprehend, them...

twitter.com/jimmfelton/status/1088022916028133376

Moggy wrote:People that “borrow” things and then don’t give them back. Somebody asked to “borrow” my pen to sign something and has now scarpered with it.

Moggy wrote:

Jenuall wrote:There must be something in the air at the moment as I too had the unfortunate pleasure of being greeted by a strawberry floating hellstorm of shite when I used the loos at work earlier today.

The smell was apparent even before entering the outer door, let alone the cubicle itself, but I knew there was something truly awful waiting when I spotted the sure sign of duplicitous defecation: the closed toilet lid.

I'm not talking about the toilet seat, which comes with its own set of heated debates and issues, one thing that everyone can surely agree on is this - nobody of sound body or mind closes the outer lid of a toilet unless they know they have done something truly awful below.

Grabbing a wad of tissues to protect myself I gingerly gripped the lid in a pincer like fashion, intending to keep contact with anything to an absolute minimum, and slowly raised it aloft - like a man lifting the lid of an undercooked Quorn pie, curious yet petrified of what he may find within. And strawberry float me was I not prepared.

Black, brown, red, I'm sure some of it was even strawberry floating blue, what lay before me was a faecal visage so unholy that the saints themselves would have called out for mercy. The volume was incredible, practically filling the bowl a clear inch above the waterline, but what was more disturbing was the spread which had been achieved. No surface below the rim was untouched by some residue of this hideous creatures "deposit".

I dropped the lid and I ran out of there quicker than I've moved since that day I thought they were giving away free iPhones at work and I'm not ashamed to say that when I finally stopped ... I cried. What could produce such a thing? How was this possible, that someone could deliver such a water closet calamity and yet somehow walk among us as another human being like you or I? Were they ill or was this... "normal" for them?

Part of me wants answers to these questions, but I fear I am not strong enough to hear, let alone comprehend, them...

21 days in and we’ve already had the post of the year.

Moggy wrote:Going back to Prince Philip.

twitter.com/jimmfelton/status/1088022916028133376

The Mail

Jenuall wrote:There must be something in the air at the moment as I too had the unfortunate pleasure of being greeted by a strawberry floating hellstorm of shite when I used the loos at work earlier today.

The smell was apparent even before entering the outer door, let alone the cubicle itself, but I knew there was something truly awful waiting when I spotted the sure sign of duplicitous defecation: the closed toilet lid.

I'm not talking about the toilet seat, which comes with its own set of heated debates and issues, one thing that everyone can surely agree on is this - nobody of sound body or mind closes the outer lid of a toilet unless they know they have done something truly awful below.

Grabbing a wad of tissues to protect myself I gingerly gripped the lid in a pincer like fashion, intending to keep contact with anything to an absolute minimum, and slowly raised it aloft - like a man lifting the lid of an undercooked Quorn pie, curious yet petrified of what he may find within. And strawberry float me was I not prepared.

Black, brown, red, I'm sure some of it was even strawberry floating blue, what lay before me was a faecal visage so unholy that the saints themselves would have called out for mercy. The volume was incredible, practically filling the bowl a clear inch above the waterline, but what was more disturbing was the spread which had been achieved. No surface below the rim was untouched by some residue of this hideous creatures "deposit".

I dropped the lid and I ran out of there quicker than I've moved since that day I thought they were giving away free iPhones at work and I'm not ashamed to say that when I finally stopped ... I cried. What could produce such a thing? How was this possible, that someone could deliver such a water closet calamity and yet somehow walk among us as another human being like you or I? Were they ill or was this... "normal" for them?

Part of me wants answers to these questions, but I fear I am not strong enough to hear, let alone comprehend, them...

Vermilion wrote:

Moggy wrote:People that “borrow” things and then don’t give them back. Somebody asked to “borrow” my pen to sign something and has now scarpered with it.

There was a kid at school who used to do that to me all the time, he'd beg & plead relentlessly to 'borrow' something in class, then would refuse to give it back.

He did it several times before i started refusing, i guess i lacked savvy to begin with.

Vermilion wrote:Another annoying thing, is when you're in a waiting room to see the dentist/doc/something else, and when your appointment time finally arrives, the door opens, and someone elses name is called instead.

Dowbocop wrote:

Vermilion wrote:Another annoying thing, is when you're in a waiting room to see the dentist/doc/something else, and when your appointment time finally arrives, the door opens, and someone elses name is called instead.

An inevitable decline in the quality/experience of the health service due to a decade of underfunding and staff shortages due to things like hostile immigration policies and removals of bursaries annoys me too.

Glad I'm not the only one.

Vermilion wrote:

Dowbocop wrote:

Vermilion wrote:Another annoying thing, is when you're in a waiting room to see the dentist/doc/something else, and when your appointment time finally arrives, the door opens, and someone elses name is called instead.

An inevitable decline in the quality/experience of the health service due to a decade of underfunding and staff shortages due to things like hostile immigration policies and removals of bursaries annoys me too.

Glad I'm not the only one.

What i was talking about has even happened at the vets, so please don't bring politics into this.

If you do that here it'll only be a matter of time before the dreaded 'b' word is mentioned, and none of us want that.