Top Dumps

If this was on resetera, it would have ended up on our resetera thread.

We've never been less cringey than ResetEra, that thread is lying to itself

"Does anyone else not wash there hands after slamming out a dump"

I was putting my jacket in my locker in the ladies at work the other day and one of my colleagues came in. We were chatting and she went into the cubicle and I went back to work, only I got halfway down the corridor and realised I'd forgotten my notebook. So I popped back in to grab it out my locker, and was greeted by the foulest smell. I work in a care home for the elderly so bad smells don't usually bother me but this was horrific. And it Carried into the communal lockers, and the hallway and I could still smell it outside in the main corridor three doors behind.

Worse still I'm heavy footed and wear clip clop shows so it's really faking obvious that it was me that went back in.

Can't look her in the face now. She was crying before that and I found that dead awkward too.

Bunni wrote:I was putting my jacket in my locker in the ladies at work the other day and one of my colleagues came in. We were chatting and she went into the cubicle and I went back to work, only I got halfway down the corridor and realised I'd forgotten my notebook. So I popped back in to grab it out my locker, and was greeted by the foulest smell. I work in a care home for the elderly so bad smells don't usually bother me but this was horrific. And it Carried into the communal lockers, and the hallway and I could still smell it outside in the main corridor three doors behind.

Worse still I'm heavy footed and wear clip clop shows so it's really faking obvious that it was me that went back in.

Can't look her in the face now. She was crying before that and I found that dead awkward too.

Maybe she was crying because she knew she was about to do a really smelly poo.

Mr. Sis Boom Bah wrote:

Snowcannon wrote:My top type of dump is one of those big log poos that require little-to-no wiping afterwards. Bonus points if the log is too big to flush

I hope you wipe anyway, just for luck?

Of course, gotta do an insurance wipe

Oblomov Boblomov wrote:Pretty much at any point during standard working hours, if I'm posting, I'm doing so while having a poo.

Yes, including right now.

We are bringing in the Bristol score which will penalise work shitters like you.

ive eaten too much bread this week and my gooseberry fools are rough and hard, just like i like my bumsex

I'm trying to use less toilet paper when I poo at the moment.

>Three squares folded twice for the initial wipe
>Two squares folded once X2
>One square folder into quarters into a small square to dab the wee from the willy.

8 Squares! Boom!
Who can beat that!

LewisD wrote:>One square folder into quarters into a small square to dab the wee from the willy.

Crucial part of the process that goes unreported in mainstream poo journalism.

LewisD wrote:I'm trying to use less toilet paper when I poo at the moment.

>Three squares folded twice for the initial wipe
>Two squares folded once X2
>One square folder into quarters into a small square to dab the wee from the willy.

8 Squares! Boom!
Who can beat that!

careful, you dont want to end up like gillian mckeith and start streaking your boxies in the name of environmentalism

mad respect for the effort though, doing another poo as we speak and ill have a crack at it

Moggy wrote:

Oblomov Boblomov wrote:Pretty much at any point during standard working hours, if I'm posting, I'm doing so while having a poo.

Yes, including right now.

We are bringing in the Bristol score which will penalise work shitters like you.

That has to be a joke, people can't help pooping. It's unhealthy to hold it in as well.

LewisD wrote:8 Squares! Boom!
Who can beat that!

that was a 7-squarer:

two squares folded once for the main wipe, x2
one square unfolded to dig in a bit more and make sure we're good
two squares folded once for the willy dab

last one was egregious, could easily bring that down to a 6-squarer.

back to you

Qikz wrote:

Moggy wrote:

Oblomov Boblomov wrote:Pretty much at any point during standard working hours, if I'm posting, I'm doing so while having a poo.

Yes, including right now.

We are bringing in the Bristol score which will penalise work shitters like you.

That has to be a joke, people can't help pooping. It's unhealthy to hold it in as well.

It was a joke based partially on Oblo’s love of the Bradford score and the Bristol stool chart.

Why the strawberry float am i browsing this thread during my lunch break.....

Moggy wrote:

Qikz wrote:

Moggy wrote:

Oblomov Boblomov wrote:Pretty much at any point during standard working hours, if I'm posting, I'm doing so while having a poo.

Yes, including right now.

We are bringing in the Bristol score which will penalise work shitters like you.

That has to be a joke, people can't help pooping. It's unhealthy to hold it in as well.

It was a joke based partially on Oblo’s love of the Bradford score and the Bristol stool chart.

I am literally pooing right now .

Oblomov Boblomov wrote:

Moggy wrote:

Qikz wrote:

Moggy wrote:

Oblomov Boblomov wrote:Pretty much at any point during standard working hours, if I'm posting, I'm doing so while having a poo.

Yes, including right now.

We are bringing in the Bristol score which will penalise work shitters like you.

That has to be a joke, people can't help pooping. It's unhealthy to hold it in as well.

It was a joke based partially on Oblo’s love of the Bradford score and the Bristol stool chart.

I am literally pooing right now .

Which type?

3 bits of paper. On up, one down and one to polish.

Last year i had non stop type 7 for four days, it wasn't fun.

Moggy wrote:

Qikz wrote:

Moggy wrote:

Oblomov Boblomov wrote:Pretty much at any point during standard working hours, if I'm posting, I'm doing so while having a poo.

Yes, including right now.

We are bringing in the Bristol score which will penalise work shitters like you.

That has to be a joke, people can't help pooping. It's unhealthy to hold it in as well.

It was a joke based partially on Oblo’s love of the Bradford score and the Bristol stool chart.

Mine is always a 50/50 mix of #3 and #5...