GRcade

Hi, thought I would give an update, I won’t read the replies because your all really nice people and I can imagine what you are saying, I have not been out since and I have transferred him the money I was going to use to rent somewhere when I got back, I have also changed my flights and I’m leaving on Saturday it cost £185 and I will be downgraded to economy and don’t get a refund for the week I’m missing, the funny thing is no he’s not replying very often so I don’t know what will happen, before that he said we would both come here for 4 weeks together but I’m not sure that will happen, I hope this thread stays on this site so I can read it if it has been a mistake but next time you all need to be mean to me, wish me look for now and speak to you all again soon and thank you so much for being there for me, flashy trying to show off RichardUK has gone it was all fake and a front, I’m just plain old silly Richard x x x x x x x

Damn.

should have had a wank.

Do what you want to do Richard, not what anyone else wants from you

Jawa where is the commemorative logo for giving in to emotional blackmail damnit

RichardUK wrote:Hi, thought I would give an update, I won’t read the replies because your all really nice people and I can imagine what you are saying, I have not been out since and I have transferred him the money I was going to use to rent somewhere when I got back, I have also changed my flights and I’m leaving on Saturday it cost £185 and I will be downgraded to economy and don’t get a refund for the week I’m missing, the funny thing is no he’s not replying very often

Seriously though - this sounds like manipulation and possible financial abuse.

RichardUK, I don't know you and I don't know your situation but if you read this before you fly, I'd strongly urge you to rethink

It sounds like by going out to America you've been unable to access the support you need to get through this, instead betting everything on distraction which ultimately hasn't worked

But the fact that he's essentially stolen your support network in your absence by co-opting your parents while you're not there to speak for yourself, suggests this man does not have your best interests at heart

I'm not saying don't come back to the UK, but I would say don't go back to him when you do

This is a really, really bad move. Really. You transferred him all your money?

Don't go back to him.

Yeah this is a very bad decision mate. Don’t go back to that guy, he sounds like a manipulative abuser.

I don't think this is the right thing to do Richard, especially transferring your funds like that.

You're not thinking things through clearly, and you need to take a step back and assess the situation rationally.

I really do hope things improve for you, but if you go back to him, i'm not sure if they will.

Well this is a depressing outcome.

Deliberately not reading our replies too - knowing full well what we are all going to say - is just willfully sticking your head in the sand, trying to drown out any doubting voices in your own head and allowing yourself to be pulled under by a subversive, manipulative influence again.

A break up is sort.of like a grieving process, but you didn't even allow yourself the time to go through all the stages, instead going back to what was known and "safe" before you even tried being apart.

Of course, none of our advice will make a damned bit of difference, as people in abusive relationships only ever seen to listen to the person who's abusing them in the first place. No amount of logic, good advice or help is going to pull you out of his sphere of influence, not unless you're willing to help yourself.

Ad7 wrote:How bloody selfish. If he truly cared, he'd have got in touch to say he misses you, and to say "enjoy the rest of your trip, I'm thinking of you and I'll see you when you get back". Not I CONTACTED YOUR PARENTS AND DOBBED YOU IN AND RUINED YOUR TRIP LOVE ME LOVE ME.

I'm going to sound like a banana split for saying it, but I'm going to take a wild and crazy guess that you were the main provider of money to him.

If only you'd read all the advice people had taken the time to write.

Yeah reading back that last page this is just grim, you're making a huge mistake but are going to ignore all our advice. I'd bet all my money in the world that this isn't going to work out well.

Rocsteady wrote:Yeah reading back that last page this is just grim, you're making a huge mistake but are going to ignore all our advice. I'd bet all my money in the world that this isn't going to work out well.

Your parents say you should give it all to me.

We havent heard from richard in a while.

Hope he is okay.

I don't think he's been online, me and Vermilion have both PM'd him and my messages to him are still in my outbox. I'm worried for the guy.

Yeah, I'm getting pretty concerned about this, he hasn't logged in at all.

I don't think that's surprising, he knew the sort of comments he'd be coming back to in here.

Rocsteady wrote:I don't think that's surprising, he knew the sort of comments he'd be coming back to in here.

Pisstaking aside, I hope he's ok, because from what he said he's gone back to an abusive relationship.

But none of us are experts in being alive - this is all a work in progress. RichardUK - do what you need to do and we will all still be here when you need us.

Hope you're okay Richard <3