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Uncontrollable Gas
Posted: Sat Jul 15, 2023 7:00 pm
by Sprouty
I'm at a baby shower and have eaten too much buffet food. I'm struggling to control my gas. Thankfully it's relatively odourless, but this situation can be very tricky, especially in small work meetings, etc.
When did you last have uncontrollable gas and how much trouble did it get you in to?
Re: Uncontrollable Gas
Posted: Sat Jul 15, 2023 7:02 pm
by Tomous
What a post for the 20,000th topic in the Stuff section of the forum
#nailedit
Re: Uncontrollable Gas
Posted: Sat Jul 15, 2023 7:03 pm
by Moggy
Tomous wrote:What a post for the 20,000th topic in the Stuff section of the forum
#nailedit
It's actually perfect.
Re: Uncontrollable Gas
Posted: Sat Jul 15, 2023 7:03 pm
by False
im in the sore tummy gang so i let rip whenever and wherever without remorse
Re: Uncontrollable Gas
Posted: Sat Jul 15, 2023 7:06 pm
by site23
I had pretty bad gas in a meeting yesterday. I managed to hold it in for the whole two hours, but while I was presenting my stomach gurgled pretty loudly, which was a bit embarrassing. Overall though I would say this was a "near miss" not a "serious incident".
Re: Uncontrollable Gas
Posted: Sat Jul 15, 2023 7:06 pm
by rinks
Sprouty, in half an hour.
Re: Uncontrollable Gas
Posted: Sat Jul 15, 2023 7:16 pm
by Sprouty
site23 wrote:I had pretty bad gas in a meeting yesterday. I managed to hold it in for the whole two hours, but while I was presenting my stomach gurgled pretty loudly, which was a bit embarrassing. Overall though I would say this was a "near miss" not a "serious incident".
Proud of you! This is tricky. I used to work in a team of five and we'd all just swing around on our chairs and chat at our desks. There were a couple of times when I had some really stinky farts and I just knew that everyone else could smell it and the small team meant there were very few culprits. Worse than that was dropping one at my desk, only for somebody to appear from nowhere and walk over for a conversation. There's no hiding my guilt in that scenario! 
My favourite place was a pod which you walked in to in order to enter a gym I used to go to. You'd literally stand in the pod for about 20 seconds as the doors revolved to allow entry from one side and exit to the other. The next person entering that had no hope. 
Moggy wrote:Tomous wrote:What a post for the 20,000th topic in the Stuff section of the forum
#nailedit
It's actually perfect.
I'm proud that I could serve the forum I love.
Re: Uncontrollable Gas
Posted: Sat Jul 15, 2023 7:17 pm
by Hypes
Username checks out
Re: Uncontrollable Gas
Posted: Sat Jul 15, 2023 7:42 pm
by Alvin Flummux
I can't eat granola type health bars due to the obscene amounts of gas they generate in me. I don't know how it does it, but it's bad, so I have to avoid them.
Re: Uncontrollable Gas
Posted: Sat Jul 15, 2023 8:06 pm
by Mommy Christmas
I fart like a trooper since I had my gall bladder out.
I can also chamber farts and direct them to front or back by clenching my arse cheeks.
Re: Uncontrollable Gas
Posted: Sat Jul 15, 2023 8:41 pm
by Sprouty
Missed the opportunity to name this '20,000th Topic Fartacular'.
Re: Uncontrollable Gas
Posted: Sat Jul 15, 2023 8:49 pm
by Moggy
Sprouty wrote:Missed the opportunity to name this '20,000th Topic Fartacular'.
We'll all be so old by the 30,000 topic, you'll be able to call it "30,000th Topic OhIJustShatMyselfAgain"
Re: Uncontrollable Gas
Posted: Sat Jul 15, 2023 10:19 pm
by Dowbocop
Mommy wrote:I fart like a trooper since I had my gall bladder out.
I can also chamber farts and direct them to front or back by clenching my arse cheeks.
Never has a signature been so apt
My worst ones come at night usually. My most infamous recent one was when my son was having a restless night and had come into our bed, and I emitted something so offensive that my son woke up and started crying uncontrollably, which caused my wife to wake up and be greeted by my ungodly stench. I was
very unpopular the next morning
Re: Uncontrollable Gas
Posted: Sat Jul 15, 2023 10:26 pm
by Vermilion
I get issues when i eat sprouts.
Also, this could well be the greatest thread ever created.
Re: Uncontrollable Gas
Posted: Sat Jul 15, 2023 10:30 pm
by Zilnad
I fart like this all the time. I've definitely dropped a few bombs in the office before.
Re: Uncontrollable Gas
Posted: Sat Jul 15, 2023 11:05 pm
by Van Foster
Farting in the office? May as well shite in people's coffee.
Re: Uncontrollable Gas
Posted: Sun Jul 16, 2023 4:28 pm
by SEP
It's been a long time since Sprouty did a post spectacular, but it was worth the wait. And very appropriate for a sprout.
Re: Uncontrollable Gas
Posted: Sun Jul 16, 2023 5:37 pm
by kazanova_Frankenstein
Sprouty wrote:I'm at a baby shower and have eaten too much buffet food. I'm struggling to control my gas. Thankfully it's relatively odourless, but this situation can be very tricky, especially in small work meetings, etc.
When did you last have uncontrollable gas and how much trouble did it get you in to?
You may have a cold.
Re: Uncontrollable Gas
Posted: Sun Jul 16, 2023 6:44 pm
by Tomous
kazanova_Frankenstein wrote:Sprouty wrote:I'm at a baby shower and have eaten too much buffet food. I'm struggling to control my gas. Thankfully it's relatively odourless, but this situation can be very tricky, especially in small work meetings, etc.
When did you last have uncontrollable gas and how much trouble did it get you in to?
You may have a cold.
I very nearly asked if colds made your farts odourless then
Re: Uncontrollable Gas
Posted: Sun Jul 16, 2023 7:12 pm
by Sprouty
kazanova_Frankenstein wrote:Sprouty wrote:I'm at a baby shower and have eaten too much buffet food. I'm struggling to control my gas. Thankfully it's relatively odourless, but this situation can be very tricky, especially in small work meetings, etc.
When did you last have uncontrollable gas and how much trouble did it get you in to?
You may have a cold.
Oh
My
God
I have had a really bunged up nose over the last couple of days.
Could I have left a noticeable trail?!
