Worst Biscuit? NOMINATIONS NOW OPEN!

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Jenuall
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PostWorst Biscuit? NOMINATIONS NOW OPEN!
by Jenuall » Thu May 16, 2019 3:07 pm

!!UPDATE!! NOW TAKING NOMINATIONS! GET YOUR SUGGESTIONS IN!

We have a regular supply of biscuits in the office at work which we manage to munch through very happily every day. We normally stick to a solid selection of dependable favourites: Chocolate Digestives (both milk and dark), Hob Nobs, Custard Creams etc. Recently we have started branching out and all sorts of other things have been making an appearance - a couple of weeks back saw Jammie Dodgers join the fray and this week it was Jaffa Cakes (technically not a biscuit of course!)

This has all worked very well for us and whatever someone puts into the biscuit tin you know you're going to get something that is at worst "nice"*. This happy biscuit equilibrium was shattered today when some beast decided poison the well by slipping a pack of strawberry floating Rich Tea into the mix. :dread:

The culprit has yet to reveal themselves but it has inspired a debate about what genuinely is the "worst biscuit". Personally I can't see beyond the Rich Tea - it's an abomination. The sort of thing that feels like a hangover from rationing, when people had to be creative and make biscuits out of any old shite that was left lying around. "We need butter, sugar, some kind of oats or flour and maybe some eggs to make a biscuit Mr McVitie!" "All we have is cardboard, saw dust and some rubble from when the old factory burned down - do 'yer best!"

They barely qualify as consumable items in my book, it feels like they should only exist as a last resort option - stuck in a cabinet for emergencies. If all other biscuits in the world have been consumed then break glass to access the Rich Tea supply. The list of things I would happily eat before a Rich Tea is long, varied, and contains several things you might find in a "bush tucker trial"!

So what do you think is the worst biscuit?

*unless it is a Nice biscuit as they are, somewhat ironically, not very nice.

Last edited by Jenuall on Fri May 17, 2019 7:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Vermilion
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PostRe: Worst Biscuit? (or: Are Rich Tea biscuits the work of the devil?)
by Vermilion » Thu May 16, 2019 3:14 pm

Rich Tea are amazing, what's wrong with you?

Bourbons on the other hand, yuck.

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PostRe: Worst Biscuit? (or: Are Rich Tea biscuits the work of the devil?)
by KK » Thu May 16, 2019 3:21 pm

I like pretty much all biscuits and cookies to varying degrees, but I have to agree on Rich Tea. The most boring biscuit ever conceived. They look like a Digestive...but they’re not.

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Hexx
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PostRe: Worst Biscuit? (or: Are Rich Tea biscuits the work of the devil?)
by Hexx » Thu May 16, 2019 3:23 pm

>Someone buys you free biscuits
>Complain this time it's not one you really like

You ungrateful little berk

The correct answer of "worst" biscuit is those cheap wierd pink waffers things.

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PostRe: Worst Biscuit? (or: Are Rich Tea biscuits the work of the devil?)
by KK » Thu May 16, 2019 3:28 pm

Hexx wrote:The correct answer of "worst" biscuit is those cheap wierd pink waffers things.

They used to have Pink Panther on the front when I was a kid.

Naturally in my lunchbox was the king of biscuit treats, Jacob’s Mint Club (under the McVitie's label these days) or Rocky.

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Jenuall
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PostRe: Worst Biscuit? (or: Are Rich Tea biscuits the work of the devil?)
by Jenuall » Thu May 16, 2019 3:29 pm

Hexx wrote:>Someone buys you free biscuits
>Complain this time it's not one you really like

You ungrateful little berk

The correct answer of "worst" biscuit is those cheap wierd pink waffers things.

Pink wafers are a delight!

The complaining about the Rich Tea purchase has been pretty much universal, so it's not just me being a berk! ;)

Vermilion wrote:Rich Tea are amazing, what's wrong with you?

Bourbons on the other hand, yuck.

What's to like about them, they are so bland - it's like eating cardboard!

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Hexx
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PostRe: Worst Biscuit? (or: Are Rich Tea biscuits the work of the devil?)
by Hexx » Thu May 16, 2019 3:32 pm

Jenuall wrote:The complaining about the Rich Tea purchase has been pretty much universal, so it's not just me being a berk! ;)


Are you really going with populism as a defense for your horribleness?

Dark Chocolate Digestives are badun's too.

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PostRe: Worst Biscuit? (or: Are Rich Tea biscuits the work of the devil?)
by Lime » Thu May 16, 2019 3:32 pm

When I worked in an office, people would bring back 'special biscuits' from wherever they'd been on their beach holiday abroad. Definitely worse than rich tea. Tasteless* and powdery, I've no idea how the locals would eat them. Presumably they are just made for tourists.




* apart from an aftertaste that comes from nowhere.

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PostRe: Worst Biscuit? (or: Are Rich Tea biscuits the work of the devil?)
by Balladeer » Thu May 16, 2019 3:33 pm

Rich Teas are excellent tea-dunking biscuits, up there with Hobnobs. The correct answer is anything with F*CKING CURRANTS in.

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PostRe: Worst Biscuit? (or: Are Rich Tea biscuits the work of the devil?)
by darksideby182 » Thu May 16, 2019 3:38 pm

Fig rolls and Garibaldi biscuits are great. Although all biscuits are pretty good.

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PostRe: Worst Biscuit? (or: Are Rich Tea biscuits the work of the devil?)
by OrangeRKN » Thu May 16, 2019 3:47 pm

I'm not sure there are bad biscuits

Rich tea are a bit bland but I'll eat them happily

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PostRe: Worst Biscuit? (or: Are Rich Tea biscuits the work of the devil?)
by Tsunade » Thu May 16, 2019 3:47 pm

Balladeer wrote:Rich Teas are excellent tea-dunking biscuits, up there with Hobnobs. The correct answer is anything with F*CKING CURRANTS in.

How the hell do you manage to dunk Rich Tea biscuits in tea?! They're a one dip max biscuit (unless you want one sunk at the bottom of your mug). Hobnobs are legendary though.

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Jenuall
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PostRe: Worst Biscuit? (or: Are Rich Tea biscuits the work of the devil?)
by Jenuall » Thu May 16, 2019 3:56 pm

A Rich Tea can barely survive contact with air so I can't believe it holds up as a dunking biscuit. I don't drink tea so all my preferences are based on the biscuit being eaten in isolation!

Biscuits with currants are generally rank as well, I remember enduring those small round ones with the bumpy edges which contained loads of currants - seemed to be a favourite of people from my grandparents generation. I think they came dusted in quite a bit of sugar as an attempt to mask the weakness of the underlying biscuit but that wasn't fooling anyone!

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PostRe: Worst Biscuit? (or: Are Rich Tea biscuits the work of the devil?)
by Garth » Thu May 16, 2019 4:02 pm

Any biscuit or cookie with big lumps of ginger in it.

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more heat than light
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PostRe: Worst Biscuit? (or: Are Rich Tea biscuits the work of the devil?)
by more heat than light » Thu May 16, 2019 4:02 pm

OrangeRKN wrote:I'm not sure there are bad biscuits

Rich tea are a bit bland but I'll eat them happily


This.

People who dunk biscuits in tea can strawberry float off though. :dread:

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PostRe: Worst Biscuit? (or: Are Rich Tea biscuits the work of the devil?)
by Chocolate-Milk » Thu May 16, 2019 4:03 pm

Rich Teas are fine on their own, but they're far and away the worst dunking biscuit.

Give me a milk chocolate Hobnob, or failing that, a malted milk.

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Jenuall
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PostRe: Worst Biscuit? (or: Are Rich Tea biscuits the work of the devil?)
by Jenuall » Thu May 16, 2019 4:06 pm

Chocolate-Milk wrote:Rich Teas are fine on their own, but they're far and away the worst dunking biscuit.

Give me a milk chocolate Hobnob, or failing that, a malted milk.

Love a good malted milk! Do they still have pictures of cows on them?

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PostRe: Worst Biscuit? (or: Are Rich Tea biscuits the work of the devil?)
by Ironhide » Thu May 16, 2019 4:07 pm

Rich Teas are an abomination and anyone who likes them needs to be cleansed of their sins.

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PostRe: Worst Biscuit? (or: Are Rich Tea biscuits the work of the devil?)
by OrangeRKN » Thu May 16, 2019 4:10 pm

Jenuall wrote:Biscuits with currants are generally rank as well, I remember enduring those small round ones with the bumpy edges which contained loads of currants - seemed to be a favourite of people from my grandparents generation. I think they came dusted in quite a bit of sugar as an attempt to mask the weakness of the underlying biscuit but that wasn't fooling anyone!


Okay now you're obviously a full on mentalist. Fruit shortcakes are delicious

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PostRe: Worst Biscuit? (or: Are Rich Tea biscuits the work of the devil?)
by Tafdolphin » Thu May 16, 2019 4:17 pm

Crappy shortbread biscuits. I don't mind good shortbread, but the stuff you get in packs like digestives are rank.

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