Worst film ever!

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Peter Crisp
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PostWorst film ever!
by Peter Crisp » Fri Dec 28, 2018 4:38 pm

With Mark Kermode doing his final uncut and showing his worst 10 films for the last 10 years I thought I'd ask what the single worst film you've seen is?



For me there's no contest as it has to be Dungeons & Dragons.

As an avid player of the game for well over a decade and having over 100 novels set in multiple D&D settings I had sky high hopes for this film but it was just utter, utter gooseberry fool. They had entire worlds to choose from including Dragonlance which has a fantastic world spanning conflict with some truly amazing characters and setting but they decided screw that lets just use a generic fantasy world and fill it with utter banana splits.

I honestly think they would have upset me less at the cinema if the film had just had a title sequence with the name Dungeons & Dragons popping up and then 2 hours of a blank screen or just 2 hours of watching some random geezer read a random book from either Dragonlance or Forgotten Realms.

Even giving it a 1/10 is being generous and everyone involved deserves to be exiled to the same island where they sent Napoleon.

jiggles wrote:Nobody with a VR headset is going to be using it regularly this time next year, let alone in 4 years time.


Posted 16th March 2016. Let's see.
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Partridge Iciclebubbles
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PostRe: Worst film ever!
by Partridge Iciclebubbles » Fri Dec 28, 2018 4:45 pm

Once Upon a time in the West

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Gemini73

PostRe: Worst film ever!
by Gemini73 » Fri Dec 28, 2018 4:45 pm

Nice to see some love for Dragonlance, Peter. My favourite D&D setting.

You're right, a bloody awful film considering the material they could've pulled from.

Lot of gooseberry fool films out there, but perhaps the worst I've seen recently is Alone in the Dark. Directed by Uwe Boll and staring Christian Slater. Terrible film in every respect.

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Peter Crisp
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PostRe: Worst film ever!
by Peter Crisp » Fri Dec 28, 2018 4:53 pm

Gemini73 wrote:Nice to see some love for Dragonlance, Peter. My favourite D&D setting.

You're right, a bloody awful film considering the material they could've pulled from.

Lot of gooseberry fool films out there, but perhaps the worst I've seen recently is Alone in the Dark. Directed by Uwe Boll and staring Christian Slater. Terrible film in every respect.


The Chronicles series is pretty much perfect for a film series (I know they made an animated film of this where they spunked all the budget on having Keither Sutherland (sp?) as Raistlin but that doesn't count as it was comically short) with a huge global conflict that can be easily explained (It's basically good V evil) and with some fantastic characters and I think Raistlin could become quite a popular villain.
It's almost as odd a choice as they made for the World War Z film where the book has pretty much nothing in common with the film other than they both contain zombies. They should have saved some cash and just made a new zombie film franchise rather than buy the rights to the book only to then chuck it in the bin.

Brad Pitt why bother winning a strawberry floating bidding war for a story you obviously didn't even like?

Last edited by Peter Crisp on Fri Dec 28, 2018 4:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.
jiggles wrote:Nobody with a VR headset is going to be using it regularly this time next year, let alone in 4 years time.


Posted 16th March 2016. Let's see.
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Wedgie
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PostRe: Worst film ever!
by Wedgie » Fri Dec 28, 2018 4:55 pm

Come on guys. Those are a masterpiece compared to...

...

...

Meet the Spartans.

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Peter Crisp
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PostRe: Worst film ever!
by Peter Crisp » Fri Dec 28, 2018 4:58 pm

Wedgie wrote:Come on guys. Those are a masterpiece compared to...

...

...

Meet the Spartans.


Ok but did anyone go into that film with the weight of decades of loving a franchise and finally having a big screen version only for it to be a massive kick in the groin?
The Dark Tower is another example where the books are amazing and the film is just strawberry floating rubbish and that even had Idris Elba in it and he's great.

jiggles wrote:Nobody with a VR headset is going to be using it regularly this time next year, let alone in 4 years time.


Posted 16th March 2016. Let's see.
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Return_of_the_STAR
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PostRe: Worst film ever!
by Return_of_the_STAR » Fri Dec 28, 2018 5:06 pm

The Birdcage

Gemini73

PostRe: Worst film ever!
by Gemini73 » Fri Dec 28, 2018 5:09 pm

Peter Crisp wrote:
Gemini73 wrote:Nice to see some love for Dragonlance, Peter. My favourite D&D setting.

You're right, a bloody awful film considering the material they could've pulled from.

Lot of gooseberry fool films out there, but perhaps the worst I've seen recently is Alone in the Dark. Directed by Uwe Boll and staring Christian Slater. Terrible film in every respect.


The Chronicles series is pretty much perfect for a film series (I know they made an animated film of this where they spunked all the budget on having Keither Sutherland (sp?) as Raistlin but that doesn't count as it was comically short) with a huge global conflict that can be easily explained (It's basically good V evil) and with some fantastic characters and I think Raistlin could become quite a popular villain.


I have it on dvd. Another crushing disappointment. Poorly animated, huge chunks of the story missing. Dragonlance would be much better suited to a TV series, it's far too big to cram into a handful of films without the backing from a big studio with money to burn. Thankfully they never got past the first film.

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Ding Dong Merrilly on Hide
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PostRe: Worst film ever!
by Ding Dong Merrilly on Hide » Fri Dec 28, 2018 5:34 pm

I think Mars Attacks is probably the worst I've seen but I know there's plenty of far worse films out there.

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Kevin McCallister
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PostRe: Worst film ever!
by Kevin McCallister » Fri Dec 28, 2018 5:40 pm

My biggest disappointment is probably Along Came A Spider. I was really into the James Patterson books at the time and enjoyed the adaptation of Kiss The Girls, so was really looking forward to this one. What a strawberry floating calamity of a film. It also included the most ludicrous CG car crash in film history.



:fp:

jawafour wrote:You definitely have the biggest one, mhtl - it's strawberry-floatin' massive!
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u ok santa xx
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PostRe: Worst film ever!
by u ok santa xx » Fri Dec 28, 2018 5:44 pm

Shawshank Redemption

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Rex Kramer
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PostRe: Worst film ever!
by Rex Kramer » Fri Dec 28, 2018 6:54 pm

All I want for xmas is the box wrote:Shawshank Redemption

Finally someone agrees with me.

pjbetman
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PostRe: Worst film ever!
by pjbetman » Fri Dec 28, 2018 7:48 pm

Yulehide wrote:I think Mars Attacks is probably the worst I've seen but I know there's plenty of far worse films out there.


Weird that...I loved it.

Worst film I ever saw (there were worse that I couldn't get past the opening dialogue), was Hard Rain. Utterly dreadful. Dreadful story, dreadful scenario, dreadful ambience, dreadful everything.

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Vermi Claus
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PostRe: Worst film ever!
by Vermi Claus » Fri Dec 28, 2018 7:59 pm

I've seen my fair share of shite over the years...

Vermi's worst films (in no particular order)

Rubber
Death Proof
VHS
The Innkeepers
The Covenant
Hunger
American Pie Presents: Beta House
Batman & Robin
Date Movie
Disaster Movie
The Last Sect
Guest House Paradiso

I'm sure i'll think of some more at some point too.

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Cumberdanes
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PostRe: Worst film ever!
by Cumberdanes » Fri Dec 28, 2018 8:08 pm

I’ve not seen too many outright terrible films. Even from the bad ones I’ve had some enjoyment but that can’t be said about Lost in Space.

That is to date the only film I have walked out on at the cinema part way through.

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Rob-ho ho-92
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PostRe: Worst film ever!
by Rob-ho ho-92 » Fri Dec 28, 2018 8:16 pm

Likewise, even if a film isn't regarded as great there is often some aspect of it that's quite good and stops it from being terrible.

Peter Rabbit (the recent one with James Cordon) has no such redeeming qualities, I spent the time watching it hating it more and more till it ended, truly awful.

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Errkal
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PostRe: Worst film ever!
by Errkal » Fri Dec 28, 2018 8:26 pm

Yulehide wrote:I think Mars Attacks is probably the worst I've seen but I know there's plenty of far worse films out there.


Maap maap maap

Love that film

pixelwinx
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PostRe: Worst film ever!
by pixelwinx » Fri Dec 28, 2018 8:39 pm

Jaws: The Revenge

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Jenu-All I Want For Christmas
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PostRe: Worst film ever!
by Jenu-All I Want For Christmas » Fri Dec 28, 2018 9:11 pm

The worst film I've paid money to see would be The Black Dahlia (2006) - completely terrible film and entirely without any redeeming features. The only time I've come close to walking out on a film at the cinema (the three other people I went with all did leave!)

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Xmasday
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PostRe: Worst film ever!
by Xmasday » Fri Dec 28, 2018 9:30 pm

Unbreakable. The ending was just suddenly there. No explaination to anything.

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