Your dump routine

PostRe: Your dump routine by KK » Tue Aug 19, 2008 9:49 pm

I was asked a very strange question by my Doctor once. What tells you that you need a gooseberry fool - your stomach or your arse? Erm...arse, I said? WRONG! You've got piles.

PostRe: Your dump routine by **Yorkcityknight** » Tue Aug 19, 2008 9:51 pm

If I'm at work I take my DS. (have to smuggle it through the lab in my big labcoat pocket)
I may as well get paid to work my way through the snoreathon that is Contact.

PostRe: Your dump routine by **Jam-Master Jay** » Tue Aug 19, 2008 10:21 pm

DS with Tetris and an iPod.

PostRe: Your dump routine by **Count Nood** » Tue Aug 19, 2008 10:24 pm

I've been known to man the gooseberry fool station, equipped with my trusty DS.

PostRe: Your dump routine by **Tom1882** » Tue Aug 19, 2008 10:25 pm

If i'm at home, I'll hold it in until it's almost hurting my stomach, then go and let it all out in one massive go.

If i'm at work though, I'll take The Metro in and take my time, never go on my lunch break either, I'd much prefer to get paid to gooseberry fool instead of using my own time.

PostRe: Your dump routine by **Oxx** » Tue Aug 19, 2008 10:28 pm

Just a sandwich.

PostRe: Your dump routine by **Extralife** » Tue Aug 19, 2008 10:31 pm

I'm moderately healthy and therefore am able to go to the bog without having to write it into my scedule. If you are still relatively young and spend enough time on the toilet to play a game or read you should be concerned.

PostRe: Your dump routine by **Fatal Exception** » Tue Aug 19, 2008 10:35 pm

When I worked for Natwest my job was so depressing that I used to go at sit on the toilet while I was on the clock, even if I didn't need it :lol:

I then worked out how much I get paid to sit on the crapper per week, I was pleasently suprised

PostRe: Your dump routine by **Jax** » Tue Aug 19, 2008 10:42 pm

That was my thing while working at Argos. The shifts were quite long, so i just went to sit down. The only place for employees to sit down (while not on a break) was on the toilets.

PostRe: Your dump routine by **Fatal Exception** » Tue Aug 19, 2008 10:47 pm

Two wipes? No way can that get all the gooseberry fool off your ringhole.

PostRe: Your dump routine by **SEP** » Tue Aug 19, 2008 10:50 pm

Cuban Pete wrote:Well I was presuming the 'if all is clear then its pants up' bit would imply that if all is not clear then I carry on. Plus some gooseberry fools do just need that, sometimes I like to pull me cheeks apart so to give less wiping needs.

There is a mental image that will be forever burned into my subconscious.

PostRe: Your dump routine by **franklk** » Tue Aug 19, 2008 10:52 pm

Paper/junk mail flyers/DS/phone/laptop

Unless I'm at work then nothing

PostRe: Your dump routine by **JD05** » Tue Aug 19, 2008 10:54 pm

Go in
Lock the door
Drop a bit of loo roll into the loo ( just incase of any splash dash effects)
Unleash hell.
Wipe
Flush
Wash hands
feel about a stone lighter

PostRe: Your dump routine by **black stig** » Tue Aug 19, 2008 11:23 pm

I don't think I've taken a gooseberry fool in about 10 years without something to read.

It's literally the only time I get any peace and quiet.

PostRe: Your dump routine by **<]:^D** » Tue Aug 19, 2008 11:36 pm

People who have time to do stuff on the toilet have bad digestion.

PostRe: Your dump routine by **Is this it?** » Tue Aug 19, 2008 11:38 pm

Magazine or book.

Used to be DS, but I don't play that anymore.

PostRe: Your dump routine by **Nathanbrains** » Tue Aug 19, 2008 11:39 pm

I generally have to take something to do with me, be it a book, magazine or even just my phone. I have a short attention span, so even in the few minutes it takes to have a gooseberry fool I usually get bored. I've even been known to read the back of shampoo bottles just to keep myself entertained whilst on the toilet.

PostRe: Your dump routine by **JiggerJay** » Tue Aug 19, 2008 11:49 pm

Jam-Master Jay wrote:DS with Tetris and an iPod.

and no hands free to wipe! how long do you spend in there?

PostRe: Your dump routine by **Vermin** » Wed Aug 20, 2008 1:54 am

A couple of wipes is obviously the ideal conclusion to the poo experience, but after a particularly pleasurable shite, I kinda like it being a bit messy afterwards. Y'know, when that last little nugget won't drop off despite all the shoogling and shaking, and you have to gently remove it before commencing full wipes, only to realise that quite a bit more than you intended was left on there, and the brown goes on to bum cheek flesh.

All part of the fun. As Frank Hovis from Absolutely once said: 'Awful mess. Had to have a bath. Then had to have a shower after that."

PostRe: Your dump routine by **Fishfingers** » Wed Aug 20, 2008 2:00 am

Does anyone else fill the bowl with toilet paper before they start?

I don't mean fill the bowl, but I put enough paper in there before I begin so that there are no unfortunate splashes of cold liquid to give my bottom goosebumps.

Your dump routine

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