Your Worst "Putting Your Foot In It" Moments: Share Your Pain!

Victor Mildew wrote:I've been taken off all work and put on a specific urgent work set, meaning I have to tell everyone who asks that I can't work on anything of theirs for the foreseeable future.

I was relaying this to a manager, and mocking the response one person sent me when I told them this, complete with silly voice and hand gestures.

Only after finishing what in was saying did the manager remind me it was him that had said it.

I asked a female colleague how far along she was.....turns out she'd just put on a bit of weight

Victor Mildew wrote:I've been taken off all work and put on a specific urgent work set, meaning I have to tell everyone who asks that I can't work on anything of theirs for the foreseeable future.

I was relaying this to a manager, and mocking the response one person sent me when I told them this, complete with silly voice and hand gestures.

Only after finishing what in was saying did the manager remind me it was him that had said it.

You have to try and own it in that situation and make it out like you were deliberately taking the piss out of him for the bantz

I remember a few years ago in the staff canteen we were talking about an Episode of the IT crowd where the Irish guy pulls the help cord in the disabled toilets by accident, he then lays on the floor and says "im Disabled" when help comes, it's a pretty funny episode and he repeats that line a few times.

as we walked out I bumped into my mate who had a coffee and I joked sorry "I'm Disabled" and at that perfect moment, a girl who works in reception in a wheel chair rolled past giving me the evil eye....

Photek wrote:I remember a few years ago in the staff canteen we were talking about an Episode of the IT crowd where the Irish guy pulls the help cord in the disabled toilets by accident, he then lays on the floor and says "im Disabled" when help comes, it's a pretty funny episode and he repeats that line a few times.

as we walked out I bumped into my mate who had a coffee and I joked sorry "I'm Disabled" and at that perfect moment, a girl who works in reception in a wheel chair rolled past giving me the evil eye....

Similar vein to this. Was sat in front passenger seat of a friends car quite a few years ago, and her wing-mirror got taken off by oncoming car going to fast around a blind bend. Both cars pulled over into a car park next to the road and drivers got out to exchange details. I stayed in car and noticed that the other car's passenger was just sat there giving evils at my friend and I. Bearing in mind that the other driver was trying to blame my friend for the incident (extremely unfairly), I sat there giving evils back for a couple of minutes before my friend came back and we drove off. From my conversation with her, it then became apparent that the person I'd been giving evils at had a learning disability - not a good moment.

I once bought Marley & Me on DVD for a friends birthday days after her dog had died. In my defence I didn't know either the ending of the movie or the situation with her dog. It's the only time I've ever made somebody cry on their birthday.

In a similar vein to the last few posts, while this didn’t involve saying anything I definitely put my foot and in it it’s probably the worst I’ve ever felt: a fair few years ago when I was younger, my mates and I were in a bar and each had a bottled beer. One of my mates thought it would be funny to tap the top of my beer so it fizzed up, as they do. I put my thumb on the top of the bottle so it angled the spray towards him...and he jumped out the way...behind him, was a girl in a wheelchair who got absolutely covered by the beer foam. I tried to apologise but left it after she told me to “strawberry float off and die”. I hope the wheelchair dried out quickly.

fry87 wrote:I once bought Marley & Me on DVD for a friends birthday days after her dog had died. In my defence I didn't know either the ending of the movie or the situation with her dog. It's the only time I've ever made somebody cry on their birthday.

Jesus. I haven’t ever owned and lost a dog and I find the ending to this brutal.

Tomous wrote:

fry87 wrote:I once bought Marley & Me on DVD for a friends birthday days after her dog had died. In my defence I didn't know either the ending of the movie or the situation with her dog. It's the only time I've ever made somebody cry on their birthday.

Jesus. I haven’t ever owned and lost a dog and I find the ending to this brutal.

Yeah once I realised what I'd done I felt awful. It was one of those moments where you just wanted the ground to swallow you up.

I once quite badly slagged off a colleague DIRECTLY TO THEM OVER SKYPE, thinking that I was talking to another colleague. Quite embarrassing.

Preezy wrote:I once quite badly slagged off a colleague DIRECTLY TO THEM OVER SKYPE, thinking that I was talking to another colleague. Quite embarrassing.

In my last job, I was sat on my own for ages so I decided it was safe to drop my guts. strawberry float me it stank. Almost immediately I saw a woman walking my way from across the room and I just knew she was coming to talk to me. Sure enough, she decided this is the perfect time to come and sit right in my space on my desk to talk to me (she used to sit on everyone's desk). It was just eye watering and you could see her trying not to react, while trying to brief me on some work.

Victor Mildew wrote:

Preezy wrote:I once quite badly slagged off a colleague DIRECTLY TO THEM OVER SKYPE, thinking that I was talking to another colleague. Quite embarrassing.

In my last job, I was sat on my own for ages so I decided it was safe to drop my guts. strawberry float me it stank. Almost immediately I saw a woman walking my way from across the room and I just knew she was coming to talk to me. Sure enough, she decided this is the perfect time to come and sit right in my space on my desk to talk to me (she used to sit on everyone's desk). It was just eye watering and you could see her trying not to react, while trying to brief me on some work.

I swear to god that happens to me EVERY time I fart at work.

I was telling someone in work years ago about some guy who had tied a rope around a tree and his neck, then got in his car and drove off.
Standing behind me was a colleague whos son had hung himself weeks earlier.

Mommy wrote:I was telling someone in work years ago about some guy who had tied a rope around a tree and his neck, then got in his car and drove off.
Standing behind me was a colleague whos son had hung himself weeks earlier.

strawberry float

Bit of a reverse of the thread idea, but someone once made a 'your mum' joke to me... At my mum's funeral wake

Victor Mildew wrote:In my last job, I was sat on my own for ages so I decided it was safe to drop my guts. strawberry float me it stank. Almost immediately I saw a woman walking my way from across the room and I just knew she was coming to talk to me. Sure enough, she decided this is the perfect time to come and sit right in my space on my desk to talk to me (she used to sit on everyone's desk). It was just eye watering and you could see her trying not to react, while trying to brief me on some work.

Similar situation for me at work the other day. I walked into an "empty" classroom, let out a modest toot, then immediately locked eyes with the teacher sat at her desk at the opposite end of the room.

She said nothing, but gave that white folk almost-smile and a half-hearted little wave that said "I was here the entire time."

On the way into the church at a friend's funeral, a few of us spotted a cute dog having a great time over the road. Without thinking I said "aww, look at that dog! It's so happy to be alive!"

Fortunately, my friends were able to just move the conversation on swiftly.

A few years back I was heading off to go climbing in Snowdonia. The night before I spoke to my mum on the phone as she was on holiday. She being her overbearing and mothering self was worried about me going missing in the mountains. Anyway jokingly on the phone I said 'don't worry I'll call you from the hospital' when hanging up.

Move onto the next day, I'm halfway up the mountain and have stopped for some lunch, and have signal on my mobile. I get a text from mum 'How's the day going.'

I thought it'd be extremely funny to reply with 'Can't talk now, in the hospital.'

I then didn't get a reply from her for the rest of my lunch, forgot about my joke, put the phone in my bag, and went hiking for another 5 hours (with no signal).

At the end of the day, I get in my car and take a glance at my phone..

...

...

I have about 30 missed calls from my mum, another 10 from my dad, 5 or 6 from my auntie. about ten from the friend I'd been out with Dad, and quite a lot of text messages.

I call my mum and can't get in touch, so call my dad.

Apparently my mum had taken my joke EXTREMELY seriously. She had called all relatives in the north wales area to try to get in touch with me. My dad had then proceeded to search for me. What is worse is they had rang every hospital from Holyhead to Liverpool searching for me to see if I was there xD Luckily and very luckily. I think the fact that my joke had implied I was already IN the hospital and not dying on the mountain stopped the worst bit. The air ambulance at Bangor had offered to go out searching for me, but my dad had said no because he thought I was already at the hospital. THANK strawberry float.

Either way, I learnt a lesson. Don't lie to your worrying mother.

Curls wrote:

A few years back I was heading off to go climbing in Snowdonia. The night before I spoke to my mum on the phone as she was on holiday. She being her overbearing and mothering self was worried about me going missing in the mountains. Anyway jokingly on the phone I said 'don't worry I'll call you from the hospital' when hanging up.

Move onto the next day, I'm halfway up the mountain and have stopped for some lunch, and have signal on my mobile. I get a text from mum 'How's the day going.'

I thought it'd be extremely funny to reply with 'Can't talk now, in the hospital.'

I then didn't get a reply from her for the rest of my lunch, forgot about my joke, put the phone in my bag, and went hiking for another 5 hours (with no signal).

At the end of the day, I get in my car and take a glance at my phone..

...

...

I have about 30 missed calls from my mum, another 10 from my dad, 5 or 6 from my auntie. about ten from the friend I'd been out with Dad, and quite a lot of text messages.

I call my mum and can't get in touch, so call my dad.

Apparently my mum had taken my joke EXTREMELY seriously. She had called all relatives in the north wales area to try to get in touch with me. My dad had then proceeded to search for me. What is worse is they had rang every hospital from Holyhead to Liverpool searching for me to see if I was there xD Luckily and very luckily. I think the fact that my joke had implied I was already IN the hospital and not dying on the mountain stopped the worst bit. The air ambulance at Bangor had offered to go out searching for me, but my dad had said no because he thought I was already at the hospital. THANK strawberry float.

Either way, I learnt a lesson. Don't lie to your worrying mother.

What the strawberry float were you thinking?!

But off topic, but my mother in law had a similar thing. She got one of those "can I have phone credit I broke my leg love Sarah x" spam texts. My wife is called Sarah, and was about a week off going on maternity leave. She obviously panicked and called my wife, no answer as she was in a meeting. She then called me (I work at the big hospital in the area we live in). Sounded really fishy but I was in overprotective mode because my wife was so close to giving birth so ended up calling her work to check they hadn't blue-lighted her anywhere

This thread is pure class.

I once went to a wedding and anonymously wrote in the guest book

"Heres to two brilliant and so well matched people. Lol!"

I'd intended the lol to convey that I'd had a lot of fun. But they later thought they were being trolled at their own wedding. I have never admitted it was me.

When I was at junior school, there were constant rumours that the headmaster was having an affair with one of the teachers. I was only 9 or 10 and so didn’t really have a full understanding of what sex was (I still don’t ) but we all knew something was going on.

Every year at school we would bring in Christmas cards and put them into a post box, the teachers would then hand them out to everyone. I decided it would be a great joke to send one to the teacher and make it look like it was from the headmaster. Tee hee. So I wrote something like “Dear Miss Saunders, when can we have sex again, from ??”.

Foolproof plan, except they recognised my handwriting and I was dragged into the headmasters office for the biggest telling off I ever received at school. I don’t think the rumours were true or that the teacher and headmaster had ever heard the rumours. So they thought I was fantasising about her and was a creepy kid, rather than just an appallingly bad comedian.