Right then, round 1 has concluded, and the answers are...
1. Captain Marvel
2. IT: Chapter 1
3. Interstellar
4. Drive
5. The Grand Budapest Hotel
6. This is the End
7. Pulp Fiction
8. Star Wars IV: A New Hope
9. Spiderman 2
10. Jurassic World
11. The Matrix Reloaded
12. Frozen
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...and here's the scoreboard...
One Star Movie Reviews: LeaderboardTaf - 12pts
Sawyerpip - 12pts
Cora - 11pts
Skarjo - 11pts
Moggy - 11pts
Edd - 10pts
Ironhide - 10pts
Rax - 9pts
LightWanderer - 9pts
OrangeRKN - 8pts
Jenuall - 8pts
Right then, on with the next round...
ONE STAR MOVIE REVIEWS QUIZ: ROUND 21. WTF?... The planet is flooded and dry land is long gone. So where does everyone get their cigarettes from? Dennis Hopper seems to know but isn't telling. Fuel to power jet-skis?... But where did everyone get their jet-skis?... Bullets for all the guns? Who makes those?... Nobody seems to be thirsty, even though fresh water is centuries gone... Trees and plants are gone. How is air made? Everyone seems to still be breathing. I think I'll stop, it's hurting my intelligence.
2. This movie is the greatest load of dung i have ever seen.I'm an avid sci-fi/horror fan and would give any movie the benifit of the doubt,but this is so bad,i can't describe how bad.I love the old 50's sci-fi mvie's, and to-day they get a lot of stick with they're dodgey space ships and rubber aliens,but they did what they could with what they had at the time,and some turned out to be classics.With the budget these guys had they could have done alot better.'Thrilling action packed movie'they say on the cover of the box,well if you call two aliens getting it on,waving there glowy tenticles at one another in the last scene ,then enjoy because thats as good as it gets,the rest is all talking,a few gunshots fired,a few fighter jets in the distance,but that is realy it.DO NOT BUY THIS MOVIE,trust me if you want action watch Coronation street.
3. This film has provoked debates in the Japanese parliament and is being regarded as a "Clockwork Orange" for the new millenium. It's a shame - but sadly, not surprising - that the film does not live up to it's controversial reputation. In terms of gore and violence, the film definitely delivers and is likely to cause offence in some quarters. Unfortunately, there is such a large dose of stupidity in the proceedings that it fails dismally as social commentary/satire. Example: at the start of the movie we see a TV news reporter excitedly proclaiming that the "victor" of the latest contest is a young girl. However, when the next class arrives on the island, they act and speak as if they've never heard of the setup and can't understand why they're there. The ending is also extremely dumb, making it seem as if the director has progressed very little since he helmed a film about some goo. The only scene that is really effective takes place in a lighthouse, ending with a spectacular bloodbath after a girl mistakenly eats a plate of poisoned noodles. I don't expect all films to adhere to the rules of strict logic, but this movie has a very unconvincing air about it. Japan has always produced striking, unconventional cinema, why make such a fuss over something that resembles a boring "shoot 'em up" computer game in school uniforms? The "Ring" tilogy and "Audition" are much more insidiously disturbing examples of Japanese cinema. The makers of this crpa hoped to make a "Clockwork Orange" for the computer generation, but their film should have been "wound up" on the first day of shooting!
4. James Cameron has made a spectacular Sci-Fi film... cliched Space Marines, futuristic helecopter gunships, a ruthless corporation with a slimy exec, tough female Latinos, hypersleep, a distant mysterious world attempting to be settled by humanity, Sigourney Weaver and an amazing exoskeleton v alien fight at the end...but that was called Aliens and was in 1986. Should the similarities between that classic and this truly awful film not be instantly noticeable it perhaps because the first film connection your brain makes is to Dances With Wolves... but in space! Or Ferngully... but in space! Or A Man Called Horse... but in space! Or An Inconvenient Truth... but in space! Or The Emerald Forest... but in space! You get the idea. The intelligent cultured mysterious Native Americans, sorry blue aliens, are very fortunate that the White Man turns up to save them and show them how to win the war against the other invading White Men... wow really? Does this sounds like a familiar plot?.
Sadly however, the Amazonian Tribes (sorry blue space aliens) instead of using their knowledge of the geography of THEIR home to an advantage, for some reason go along with the White Man. Our Space Marine hero decides the best tactic is to charge (or fly) straight at better equipped and armed opponents?! He must have missed that lecture at Space Marine Academy. Luckily the entire planets ecosystem and beasts come to the rescue, however when it really really counts the planet can strangely only muster a single space dog jaguar thing (Two-Socks?!) to help Poccohontis rescue our hero. There is of course the obligatory love interest, conflict with the Alpha Male Brave and Right of Passage... the latter requiring to all intents and purpose a wild, flying prarie Mustang. I hoped to see Toothless and Hiccup keeping pace but sadly it wasn't to be. Just one odd thing.... our hero can't walk. The technology and money is there to fly accross the galaxy and clone blue Aboriginals but his procedure would cost too much... what kind of medical insurance over does Space Marine service give you? Sounds like a a pretty raw deal for the Grunts? Perhaps he could have had an exoskeleton, stayed at home and this awful film would never have needed to be made?
5. Despite the cast, this must rate as the worst film that I have seen. There was no plot and not much of a cast apart from the two already mentioned and one of them disappeared halfway through the film. How this film was nominated for any awards is beyond me. Basically, the actors are part of a space shuttle crew who are hit by space debris. From then on most of the action is one of them hyperventilating, urging and arring and general bumping into parts of space craft. while the other had the good sense to just leave her to get on with it. Not much conversation from then on, apart from a very brief stint when the latter suddenly reappears as a ghost/vision and then just vanishes again. Waste of time.
6. I'm not a big fan of movies for critics, I prefer 90 minute long hack and slash, blood and guts, guns and glory special effect filled nonsense so I was expecting this to be right up my street. How wrong was I! It's bad, really really bad. Instead of filling the void where the plot should be with kick ass action scenes and alien massacre they've insisted in locking some rubbish actors in a block of flats, all for our pleasure. The isn't a single scene that redeems this film and it looks as though the makers got bored as well, instead of finsihing the film they run a comic strip over the end titles to try and explain what went on! Seriously, I'd happily sit through Independence Day and AvP Requiem a hundred times before watching this again.
7. SPOLERS! The movie has a leading man with absolutely no charisma whatsoever: actor Diego Luna. In fact, no-one has any character, but Luna is a complete non-entity. There is one single well-written and acted line in the movie: "There's one!".
"Plot":
Girl's parents taken/killed.
Now she's grown up.
Father working from inside.
Bit of force bs by cliched Far East actor choice.
Girl follows father's instructions.
Shooting. Shooting. Shooting. Shooting. Shooting.
Pathetic "he's behind you!" pantomime moment as non-entity comes up behind bad guy after seeming to be out of it.
8. I regret every penny I spent for this absolute idiotic, disgusting film that tries to amuse with countless scenes of homosexual practices. I cannot understand what people liked in this film. It is only vulgar and without any sense at all, even the Austrian accent is everything else but Austrian, it looks as if the Director of this film couldn`t have bothered less to have them pronounce the words in German. And the icing of the cake was the scene where the adopted black baby joins in a group of homosexuals in a whirlpool in a more than obvious scene. This should definitely have been censured, as paedophiles shouldn`t be encouraged even more by such LEGAL scenes. If I could have, I would have rated it minus 5 stars.
9. Cliche-ridden, shallow, indulgent, worryingly keen to portray every last lash of violence. It just wore me out. I think McQuen may have a bit of a problem: he obviously really enjoys the nasty stuff. And it's a tad suspect in my opinion. Does he perhaps over-indulge his own appetite? (Take a look at Hunger too...) In this we are bombarded with graphically violent scenes undoubtedly intended to shock and persuade - but where is the subtlety, the nuances, the shading? I'm already persuaded! So what I'm left with here is this trivial, thin, one-dimensional stuff. Good vs evil. The horror, the horror. And when you finish this movie, what do you take away from it? "Slavery was awful" just isn't enough. Slavery was a terrible thing. Of course it was! But this, I'm afraid, is not a very good movie, simple as that.
10. Ended up being dragged to the theatre with my sisters to see this crapfest way back in 2007. And upon seeing the movie on the TV it brought my attention back to how awful a movie it really is.
1. The attempts at being "funny" epicly failed at every point.
2. The director was Michael Bay, enough to create a awful movie, him and Uwe Boll.
3. The script(if I can call it one) was also terrible.
4. Excessivly boring.
5. Relyed to much on the 'special effects' and countless 'explosions' to make the movie 'cool'.
Overall I wouldn't reccomend it to anyone. Unless they were die hard action fans that enjoy movies that consist of explosions, destrucion, bad humor, robots and terrible script and production.
One star is me being generous. If it where possible I'd give it a half-of-a-star.
But unfortunatley that's impossible.
11. To paraphrase the song, They've saved the worst 'til last. Unrecognisable from the book, this piece of dross was like one of those computer games where the action sequences are ludicrously implausible. The plot was all over the place: Galadriel turning up to rescue Gandhi and battle the Nine with Saruman and Elrond just about sums it up. Was it meant to be a joke that Cate Blanchett ended up looking like the creature from the Japanese horror Ring when she scares off the monster? It was as if the team that had been working together for nearly 20 years suddenly had had enough. A great shame.
12. BAN THIS SICK FILTH! Disney just will NOT stop with it's cultural appropriation of minorities and it's sickening portrayal of women. It happened with Aladdin, with Mulan and now this! IT IS 2017 WE ARE MEANT TO BE LIVING IN A MORE PROGRESSIVE WORLD BUT SOMEONE FORGOT TO TELL DISNEY! Boycott Disney and it's white corporate imperial slavers who profit off the backs of the oppressed and minorities, who promote rape culture and women as nothing but sex objects in it's films. Just as it did with the utterly sick filth that was Frozen. BOYCOTT DISNEY! WOMEN AND SOUTH SEE MINORITIES ARE NOT THERE FOR YOUR CORPORATE GREED!
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Good luck.