The moan about your neighbours thread - Stool Bloke returns...

[Moggy]

It wasn't too loud, but opened the door at 0730 to hear Vindaloo playing from next door if England win the euros the rapacious flag shagging will be horrendous.

The worst of the flag shaggers said they were not going to watch or support England because of Marxist knee taking.

They wouldn't lie, would they?

Does this look like the face of a liar???????

[Drumstick]

I was out mowing the lawn last night, and you could tell England must have been winning due to the deafening silence from all the houses.

Petrol?

[rinks]

Scissors.

[Victor Mildew]

I was out mowing the lawn last night, and you could tell England must have been winning due to the deafening silence from all the houses.

Petrol?

No, it was grass.

[Balladeer]

It wasn't too loud, but opened the door at 0730 to hear Vindaloo playing from next door if England win the euros the rapacious flag shagging will be horrendous.

I have no objection to football so long as I can pretend it doesn't exist. It's not easy at the moment.

[Drumstick]

Nothing on Costa Woman for like two weeks now.

Has she shacked up with Stool Bloke?

[Green Gecko]

I half expect her to have shat herself to death or suffocated in her kids' faeces.

Maybe someone finally took interest in the house invoking a giant cover up. Imagine trying to clean up that neighbourhood image in the face of a literal wave of shite.

[Jezo]

Sunday. 8am. Neighbour's in his garden again doing weights. Let's out a strawberry floating moan cause big weights man. Just strawberry float off holy gooseberry fool.

Someone's dog keeps going nuts and barking like crazy

On a more positive note, one morning a couple weeks ago, got woken up by this dog for the 3rd morning in a row at like 7am. So I got up and tried to hunt it down. During my search, another neighbour I'd never met was walking her dog, saw me searching and asked if I was looking for the barking's origin. After saying yes she just said "Yeah... s'been pissing me off too". So that was a nice confidence boost to think I wasn't some mad man. Turns out the dog was literally my next door neighbour on the other side, though distanced by a road. I simply asked them if they needed any help with their dog, cause my first concern was that no dog barks this much and for as long as it did every damn time. They said it's a puppy so it can't be helped. Which is obviously a load of gooseberry fool. Ofc I didn't say that, I just politely asked if they could try do something about it. And sure enough, haven't been woken up by that dog again. Though it does make me wonder what's changed in their house for the dog to stop barking so suddenly. I've seen it being walked since then, but I just hope it's being treated ok.

[Drumstick]

Way to go.

[Jezo]

Buffman waking us up again with his exercise at 6:30. And the other day I found an empty amazon box addressed to them in our black bin. If you're gonna clog up our bins unnecessarily, at least strawberry floating recycle it.

[Tsunade]

Welp just had a weird incident. There's a shop about 200 meters away from us. I had a shopping delivery from Aldi and when I went downstairs to the door, there's one of the shopkeepers with a large portly guy whilst the delivery driver hands me my stuff. I ask if everything is okay and they say they're looking for the old guy who lives below me. He's in his 80s.
My neighbour always goes out in his car, even if it's to the shop because he can't walk too far, and he always parks in the disabled bay outside the building. His car was parked outside the shop, which confused me seeing as one of the shop keepers was outside my building, knows my neighbour by name and knows he takes his car everywhere. When I pointed out that he must be at the shop, because there's his car, the shopkeeper looked terribly confused, as if the car must have magically appeared, so I shuffled myself indoors with my shopping.
Not two moments later my neighbour pulls up in his car and the portly guy and the shopkeeper come in the building with him (I heard them out the window talking and the door to this place always slams). No idea what's going on or why the shopkeeper was confused but the whole thing seemed pretty odd.

[Vermilion]

tap tap tap tap tap tap tap BANG BANG BANG, tap tap tap... BANG BANG BANG!!!

Degenerate Neighbour Bloke's doing DIY again.

[Vermilion]

*sound of a small child crying in next door (not degenerate neighbour bloke, but the other side who is often visited by car bint)*

....."SHUT THE strawberry float UP!!!!"...

*child cries even more, and louder*

...."PACK IT IN!!!"

*child becomes hysterical, and extreme levels of crying can be heard, then there is a sudden screech, and even more hysterical crying, and trust me, this isn't normal little kid crying sounds, this is genuinely disturbing*

My neighbour is such a lovely woman.

[Victor Mildew]

Got pissed off by all the 10 car households this morning. As everyone seems to need a car for every day of the week now to keep up with each other, they're all down the road, which isn't that much of a problem in itself, but they're now all parking them with most of the car taking up the pavement ala bint bint. Went out exercising this morning and had to turn sideways past 3 in a row just so I didn't bash my shoulders on a wall or the wing mirrors.

[Frank]

Just twat the wing mirrors in so they get the message

[Outrunner]

My new neighbours who had been refurbishing the whole house seem to have disappeared. I'm assuming since they're builders they have actual paying jobs that have started to come through during the summer. The silence is great but I'd actually prefer them to do the bulk of the noisy, disruptive work like removing walls, installing steel beams etc when I don't have any university work to do. I've also noticed they have put a big pile of bricks and paving on my my property at the bottom of my garden (I don't go down there very often which is why I only just noticed). They're getting moved back onto their property as soon as the weather gets a bit cooler.

[Zilnad]

Neighbours must've just bought a new charcoal barbecue because they're completely drowning everyone in smoke. Just had to close all our windows, get our washing in and go inside as it was suffocating our patio area.

Not the only ones either. Looked outside from upstairs and multiple houses were quickly grabbing their washing in.

This set of neighbours have always been selfish though. Selfishness is their defining feature.

[Vermilion]

Neighbours must've just bought a new charcoal barbecue because they're completely drowning everyone in smoke. Just had to close all our windows, get our washing in and go inside as it was suffocating our patio area.

While i cannot stand barbecues, i hate bonfires even more.

Every time we get a hot day, some bellend decides to fill the air with smoke the moment everyone needs to open their windows.

[Yubel]

Neighbours must've just bought a new charcoal barbecue because they're completely drowning everyone in smoke. Just had to close all our windows, get our washing in and go inside as it was suffocating our patio area.

While i cannot stand barbecues, i hate bonfires even more.

Every time we get a hot day, some bellend decides to fill the air with smoke the moment everyone needs to open their windows.

I'm all for bonfires if it's used as a quick and easy method of covering up ones crimes, to be honest. Wouldn't want anyone deliberately choosing to confess out of some petty notions of conscience.

[Vermilion]

I'm all for bonfires if it's used as a quick and easy method of covering up ones crimes, to be honest. Wouldn't want anyone deliberately choosing to confess out of some petty notions of conscience.

I take it you're not one for burying the body in the woods then.